Books on Attachment for Adoptive Parents

attachment books adoption


Parenting From The Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Daniel Siegel – Wow, what an empowering book! There is so much parents can do to help their children just by being aware of what gifts and baggage they bring to the table. We love both the spirit of this book, as well as the very practical, hands-on exercises at the end of each chapter. For those of us research/science geeks, there is also a section at the end of each chapter reviewing the relevant research. Can’t recommend enough.

The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Dr. David Cross, and Wendy Sunshine – This is a must have for adoptive parents regardless how old their child is at adoption or whether their child is adopted domestically or internationally. In truth, this is a very good parenting book for all parents regardless how their child joined the family, but it spends time on addressing the sometimes complex and confusing behaviors of adopted children. I LOVE this book. It expands on the information I provided in the last chapter of my book and follows my basic philosophy: focus first on connections and then on corrections. After reading this book, you will feel hopeful and energized. You can listen to my interview with Dr. Purvis on the Creating a Family radio show.



Raising Your Spirited ChildRaising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka – another one of my favorites. You can listen to my interview with Mary Sheedy Kurcinka on the Creating a Family radio show.






Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins–Best – Adopting a toddler or preschooler presents unique challenges (and opportunities) to adoptive parents. If you are adopting a child 4 or under, this is a thought-provoking book full of practical ideas and suggestions. You can listen to my interview with Mary Hopkins-Best on the Creating a Family radio show.


Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids by Dr. Gregory Keck and Dr. Regina Kupecky – This book is packed full of great information on understanding children who have been abused and neglected. The companion book, Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow, is also a must-read. We have interviewed both Dr. Keck and Dr. Kupecky on the Creating a Family radio show.


Attaching in AdoptionBooks by Deborah Gray: Attaching in Adoption and Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma– Simply the best! Attaching in Adoption is written for parents and Nurturing Adoptions for professionals, but you can’t go wrong with either of them. I would recommend starting with Attaching in Adoption, and then decide if you need Nurturing Adoptions. Perhaps you might want to ask your library to buy or order it through interlibrary loan for you to review before you buy it. I love her books! You can listen to my interview with Deborah Gray on the Creating a Family radio show.



Complete Book of International AdoptionThe Complete Book of International Adoption by me- Not to toot my own horn, but I think the last chapter of my book is one of the best primers on creating healthy attachment in the first year post adoption.






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