This is not a “Here’s how you know you’re ready to adopt” blog, but rather a “How you know when you’re ready to even THINK about adopting” blog. What are the first signs of movement in that direction?
It’s only fair to start by saying that lots of folks who find they are struggling with conception are open to adoption from the very beginning. Their first choice may be to get pregnant, but they are mulling over adoption while they try the next round of artificial insemination (IUI) or IVF.
It’s also fair to point out that others will never be ready to think about adoption. Their Plan B if trying to conceive fails is to make peace with living childfree. But indeed, there are lots of people who fall in between, so here goes.
You Know You Are Ready to Start Thinking About Maybe the Possibility of Adoption When…
- You find yourself noticing families that don’t obviously match and wondering if they were created by adoption.
- You make note that these families act kind of like other families.
- You make a second note that these families, especially the parents, look happy.
- The thought of the next step up the infertility treatment ladder seems daunting and fills you with weariness rather than hope.
- When you hear of children in orphanages around the world, rather than just thinking “How sad”, you think “Hey, there may be kids who need parents, and here we are parents-in-waiting who need kids. Humm, I wonder???”
- Just the tiniest little piece of you is more curious than afraid of the thought of adopting, while the rest of you is still terrified and feels like adoption would be giving up.
- You listen to all the Creating a Family radio shows instead of skipping the adoption-related shows.
- You start to find those lists of famous adopted people fascinating. Who knew that Steve Jobs and Faith Hill were adopted? They seem pretty normal.
- Your ears prick up when you hear that an infertility friend adopted. You don’t necessarily ask questions, but you don’t avoid listening to the talk. You even find yourself reading the adoption posts on the infertility forums you frequent.
- You start considering that there is a point where you may have to say “no” to more treatment.
Other Creating a Family Resources You Will Enjoy
- Adoption 101
- Deciding on a Country When Considering International Adoption
- Adoption Options: What Type of Adoption is Best for You?
First published in 2010: Updated in 2017.
Image credit: NATEPERRO
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Gotta say that after 4 adoptions, I talked to someone today that just came home from China with # 6 & 7 (4 of which are bio)……….and she’s now pg! there was a tinge of jealousy still in me……….makes me feel bad to feel that way, but I’m not sure it will ever go away for me unless we have a bio (or at LEAST get pg biologically)……….is that pathetic?
My husband and I have talked briefly about adoption somewhere down the line… I admire those who take in these children, and with all the orphans that were left in Haiti, I admire those who even *think* about it, that much more!
I also had no idea about Steve Jobs or Faith Hill.. That’s pretty cool!!
I wanted to add that we are half way through the international adoption process. The wait can be long. I have found a few close friends who have adopted. Just spending time with their family has reassured me that we have made the right decision. There are families out there living the dream. Try to connect with a family and just talk, you will be amazed. Keep your faith strong.
Love this list… it’s definately got me thinking! Good luck with all you endevor on both fronts! Happy ICLW
#4, #9, #10…those were my big 3!
I think I may be ready to start thinking about adoption. I hit on all of them.
I think the decision was made for us when we realized that we just wanted to be parents to a child without necessarily giving birth.
I didn’t include that one on this list because I felt like that belonged better on the “You Know You Are Ready to Adopt” list, which is considerably further down the lroad than this “Ready to Start Thinking about Maybe” list. 🙂
Ummm, does this list apply to those of us who “might be ready to think about adopting again?” Cuz of those 10, I got, well, tooooo many goin’ on as I read them! 🙂
Great list. And great job with the brevity. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to limit my words like that 🙂