Kinship Caregivers: What Support Do They Need?

Kinship caregivers (grandparents, relatives, and close family friends raising children) are a vital part of the child welfare and family support system. Yet many tell us they feel overlooked, under-supported, and unsure how to access the resources they need.

In our work with kinship families across the country, we consistently hear the same themes. Whether you are a child welfare professional, service provider, or fellow caregiver, understanding what kinship caregivers truly need can help strengthen families, improve children’s stability, and build more effective, trauma-informed support systems.

They Didn’t Plan This. But They Showed Up.

Kinship caregivers need more than willingness—they need clear guidance, practical support, respect as family, and true partnership. The most meaningful help happens when we share resources early, simplify systems, and walk alongside them as part of a child’s team—not as an afterthought.

Most kinship caregivers didn’t expect to be parenting again. They stepped in because a child in their family needed safety, stability, and connection.

What follows is often a steep and immediate learning curve. Caregivers find themselves navigating school support, legal systems, trauma-related behaviors, and complicated family dynamics. And they must do so while also managing their own stress, grief, and financial realities.

Many are doing this with little direction. As one caregiver shared, “Stuff may be available in the community, but I’m not aware of it.”

That gap between what exists and what is accessible is one of the most consistent challenges kinship families face.

“Help Me Find What I Don’t Even Know Exists”

For many kinship caregivers, especially those outside the formal foster care system, support is not clearly laid out. They may not know what financial assistance is available, how to access legal help, or where to turn for parenting support.

Information alone is not enough. What caregivers need is guidance. They need someone to help them understand what applies to their situation and how to take the next step.

For professionals, this means offering proactive, not reactive, support. Caregivers shouldn’t have to know the “right” questions to ask before they receive the help they are looking for. Walking through options together, checking in over time, and simplifying complex systems can make a meaningful difference.

For fellow caregivers, sharing your experience matters. The practical knowledge you’ve gained can help another grandparent or relative caregiver find their footing more quickly.

Instead of handing a caregiver a list of resources, try sitting with them and walking through which ones actually apply to their situation. Consider how you can help them take the first step to access one.

“See Me as Family—Not Just a Placement”

Kinship caregivers often describe feeling treated like they are simply providing a home, rather than stepping in as family.

“I’m treated like just another roof over my kin child’s head—not family.”

When caregivers feel minimized in this way, it can create distance and erode trust. It can also impact how confident or supported they feel in making decisions for the child.

Respect shows up in everyday interactions. Understanding their family’s dynamics, including caregivers in decisions, and recognizing the history and connection they bring to this child’s life all reinforce that they are not just filling a role—they are preserving relationships.

For professionals, this requires an intentional shift. Kinship caregivers are not a secondary option. They are often the foundation of a child’s sense of identity and belonging.

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“Walk With Me Through the Relationship With Their Parents”

Navigating the relationship with a child’s parents is one of the most emotionally complex parts of kinship caregiving.

Caregivers are balancing love, loyalty, grief, and boundaries simultaneously. They are trying to protect the child while also maintaining family connections when it is safe to do so.

Research and lived experience both show that when appropriately supported, co-parenting or shared parenting can benefit children. Maintaining important attachments and a connection to their family’s larger story is crucial for a child’s identity, but it doesn’t happen automatically. It requires support and intention.

Relative caregivers need support in setting boundaries, managing communication, and handling difficult moments. Without guidance from their caseworkers, experienced friends, and family who are all invested in the child’s best outcomes, these relationships can become a source of ongoing stress.

Professionals in particular can play a key role by offering early conversations, practical strategies, and, when needed, mediation. When families are supported in these dynamics, outcomes tend to be more stable for everyone involved.

“Help Me Understand Trauma, So I Can Do This Differently”

Kinship caregiving often sits within the family’s larger story of intergenerational trauma. Many caregivers are not only responding to the child’s needs. They are also acting from and reflecting on their own experiences and patterns.

When they become aware of the concept of intergenerational trauma, they can better understand behaviors that may not make sense on the surface. And they can move with hope toward responses that promote healing rather than repeating cycles.

This is where trauma-informed support becomes essential. Caregivers benefit most from practical strategies they can use in everyday moments, using tools that help them understand the “why” behind behavior. They can thoughtfully respond in ways that build safety and connection.

Child welfare professionals can support this by offering clear, usable guidance and by modeling calm, regulated interactions. Small shifts in understanding and response can have a lasting impact.

“I’m Not Sure How to Afford This Long-Term”

We also hear caregivers say that financial strain is a constant concern for their family.

They often raise children on fixed or limited incomes that may not stretch to cover additional expenses, healthcare, and education. As children grow, concerns about long-term support, college, and job-training costs become more pressing.

As one caregiver noted, “They may qualify for Pell Grants, but it’s still not enough.”

Financial stress affects more than their budgets. It impacts stability, decision-making, and overall well-being. Some of the financial stress may be relieved when caregivers are surrounded by:

• a variety of professional advice and services
• wisdom from others who have navigated these financial pressures
• encouragement to consider future planning.

When reliable professionals provide clear explanations of available resources and assistance with budgeting and long-term planning, they can significantly ease some of this burden.

What This Means for All of Us

Supporting kinship caregivers requires a shared effort:

• For professionals, it means building relationships, simplifying systems, and offering support that continues beyond the first interaction. It also means recognizing the critical role kinship caregivers play in keeping families connected.
• For caregivers, it often means sharing what you’ve learned and creating space for others to feel less alone.

This week, consider one small step: reach out to a caregiver, simplify one piece of information, or offer to walk alongside them through the next step.

Kinship caregivers don’t need perfection from us. They need to be seen, respected, and supported with practical, consistent help. They need guidance through complex systems, support in navigating family relationships, and tools to parent children who have experienced trauma.

Most of all, they need to know they are not alone. When we support kinship caregivers well, we strengthen families and create more stable, connected futures for the children they are raising.

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