Raising a grandchild is one of the most selfless and loving choices a grandparent can make. Yet for many, it can also feel isolating and overwhelming. In a world where most parents are in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, grandparents raising grandchildren may feel out of place. Your peers are preparing for retirement, traveling, or enjoying slower-paced lives, while you are packing lunches, helping with homework, managing school meetings, and figuring out TikTok and classroom apps. Where do you fit in parenting spaces?

Feeling Out of Place

It’s not just about your age! So much of the culture around you is different than when you were raising your children. Schools have changed. Technology is changing rapidly. Childhood itself looks different from what it did a generation ago. For grandparents taking on this new responsibility, the learning curve can be steep, and the emotional toll significant.

Many grandparents first notice the difference at school events, on the playground, or at the pediatrician’s office. The other adults are often decades younger. Conversations at drop-off or school pick-up might revolve around unfamiliar topics. Some grandparents feel judged or left out. Others simply feel invisible.

This sense of being “out of sync” with your grandchild’s circles can be deeply discouraging. Add in the physical demands of parenting at an older age, like lower energy, chronic health issues, or simply needing more rest, and the journey can feel even heavier.

Common Challenges When Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents raising grandchildren often face numerous overlapping challenges that significantly impact their daily lives.

Adapting to Modern Schooling

Homework, teaching styles, and special education supports may look very different from the systems grandparents once knew. Understanding IEPs, 504 plans, and numerous digital learning platforms requires time and support.

Navigating Youth Culture and Technology

From social media to slang, today’s kids live in a world that feels unfamiliar and peculiar to most adults. Grandparents raising grandchildren may struggle even more than typical-age parents to monitor screen time, understand online safety, or keep up with the platforms their grandchildren use.

Unexpected Financial Strain

Many grandparent caregivers never planned—or saved—for raising children again. Your retirement funds may be stretched thin by the new demands. Other grandparents find they must return to the workforce or delay retirement to meet the needs of the household.

Your Energy and Health

Your levels of physical energy may not keep pace with the needs of an active, growing child. When you add in things like managing therapy, doctor appointments, after-school activities, and the emotional needs of children, you find yourself exhausted and overwhelmed.

Managing and Supporting Grandchildren’s Peer Relationships

Your grandchild’s friends may wonder why you are raising this child rather than the child’s parents. That’s natural – kids are curious. But it also may make you – and your grandchild – feel conspicuous or isolated.

The stigmas around a child who is not able to be raised by their parents can be challenging to navigate. Your grandchild may even struggle socially if their family situation feels too obviously different from that of their peers.

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How Can Grandparent-Led Families Thrive?

Despite these and other challenges, many grandparents raising grandchildren flourish! Here are some practical strategies to set your grandparent-led family up for success, while gathering support, lightening your load, and building a nurturing environment for your grandchildren.

1. Connect with others in the same role.

Grandparent caregiver support groups—both online and in local communities—can offer connection, encouragement, and practical advice. Knowing others who “get it” can be incredibly reassuring. If you are interested in joining CreatingaFamily.org’s online kinship caregiver community, reach out to tracy@creatingafamily.org for details!

2. Reach out to the school.

The teachers, counselors, and administrators in your school district can be powerful allies. Sharing your family’s situation (to the extent you feel comfortable) can open the door to better communication and more tailored support, especially if your grandchild is struggling in school.

3. Ask about available resources.

Many communities offer services specifically designed for kinship caregivers, including financial assistance, educational support, and parenting classes tailored to meet the needs of older adults. Check out your state’s Kinship Navigator services to find a starting point.

4. Set realistic expectations for yourself.

It’s okay to pace your energy, take breaks, and say no. Grandparents don’t need to “keep up” with younger parents. What matters most is providing love, stability, and a sense of safety for the children you are raising.

5. Commit yourself to keep learning.

Embracing technology and school changes can be overwhelming, we know. But learning in small steps is possible. Try asking for help from younger family members, school staff, or even tech-savvy grandchildren. You can turn frustration into shared moments and even light-hearted laughter.

6. Create routines that work for the whole family.

Kids who have experienced loss, transitions, and trauma benefit from consistent, predictable routines. They feel more secure and confident in their homes when they know what to expect, what is expected of them, and how to accomplish it. You will also notice the benefits of a streamlined, regular routine, including reduced stress and a more purposeful use of your energy.

7. Talk openly with your grandchildren.

Having regular, age-appropriate conversations about your family’s dynamics, routines, and successes will help your grandchildren understand why they are living with you and feel proud of their unique family. Encouraging self-confidence and pride in them will build their trust in you and foster resilience in both you and them.

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Thriving is Possible!

Being a grandparent caregiver is not about going back in time or trying to parent these kids as if it were still the 80s or 90s. It’s about taking stock of where you are, what you have in front of you to do, and bringing your lifetime of wisdom, patience, and love into this new season of your family’s life. While the challenges are real, so is the strength that you bring to the role.

Grandchildren raised by grandparents often grow up with a deep appreciation for the love and sacrifice that shaped their lives. They may not fully understand it while they are young, but the impact lasts a lifetime.

Remember, no one walks this road perfectly. But countless grandparents are walking it bravely—and you are not alone. With the proper support and a willingness to adapt, your grandparent-led family can thrive.

Image Credits: Mikhail Nilov-https://www.pexels.com/photo/healthy-couple-love-coffee-6972639/; Anastasia Shuraeva-https://www.pexels.com/photo/grandmother-and-teenager-taking-a-selfie-5704408/; Ksenia Chernaya-https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-man-and-a-boy-drawing-on-white-paper-while-lying-on-floor-7299913/