The day your grandchild (or niece, nephew, or younger sibling) packs for college can feel like a mix of pride, joy, and maybe a few tears. Grandparents raising grandchildren have worked hard to get through late-night homework sessions, tough conversations, and all the everyday moments in between. Their junior and senior years in high school mean that an exciting (and sometimes overwhelming) chapter may be loading now: getting them ready to succeed in college!
Practical Steps You Can Take to Prepare for College
1. When to Start Planning
College planning is a journey, not a last-minute sprint. Ideally, begin as early as the 10th or 11th grade. However, if this child hasn’t lived with you that long, it’s okay! If your grandchild (or any other relative child you are raising) is considering college after high school, you should begin preparing them and yourself now. You may need to make up some ground, and this general timeline can help you get your brain around the process.
10th grade (sophomore year)
Think about college early. Start a simple conversation about their interests or dreams. Schedule an outing to a local campus event that is open to the public. Take a virtual campus tour if they liked the campus.
Begin exploring careers that match their interests. Ask them what they want to do with what they are passionate about or what they want to learn more about.
Please explain the differences between the many types of higher learning they can explore. It won’t be evident to them in every instance that they have options!
11th grade (junior year)
Work together to create a planning timeline. Your school district may offer workshops or webinars for parents and caregivers to support this.
Please have your student note application and aid deadlines in their planner or calendar.
Plan visits—virtual or in person—with the admissions departments of the schools your student expresses the most interest in.
Summer before senior year
Encourage your grandchild to do their research. Work together to compare schools. Keep taking virtual tours to help narrow down the lists. Explore a variety of majors and what career paths they lead to. Think about essays and recommendation letters.
2. Where to Find Sound Financial Advice and Resources
Paying for college is one of the biggest worries you may be weighing right now. The good news is that support for kinship families is out there. Many colleges offer financial and admissions counselors who have received training in financial aid.
Learn about FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid)
The FAFSA process determines eligibility for need-based aid, grants, loans, and the work-study program. For kinship caregivers raising children without their birth parents, students may be considered “independent” or “provisionally independent.” They may not need to report the income and assets of caregivers or parents.
- Your school district may offer FAFSA workshops and resources to help students access financial aid.
- The Federal Student Aid Information Center provides live chat, email, and phone support.
Learn about support for first-generation students
Frequently, scholarships, mentoring, and guidance programs are available through non‑profit organizations like:
Additional preparations for college you might want to consider
Setting Your Grandchild Up for Success
The transition from high school to college can be challenging for both you and your student. You’ve done so much thus far to help them thrive academically and emotionally. Your input and guidance continue to matter for this child — especially if they’ve faced trauma or instability.
Forge a connection with the school
Though your involvement with your grandchild’s college experience will change once they move away to campus, you can help them get off on the right foot early in the process.
Start by meeting with the staff during the registration process. Share your role in this student’s life, such as “My grandchild lives with me because…” Keep the focus on encouraging healthy independence, but be honest and transparent about the challenges your student has overcome or is still experiencing.
Building a relationship with the staff at your grandchild’s college during this transition can support you and your student, ensuring a seamless experience without gaps that may make the student feel unseen or lost on campus.
Inquire about Supports and Services
You may also want to ask the admissions team about accessing supports or services for issues such as mental health, learning challenges, or financial management.
If your student is entering college with learning-related diagnoses, ask to meet with the learning support staff. Offer them a one-page sheet listing your grandchild’s strengths, interests, challenges, and what helps them learn. Help your grandchild locate the office on campus where they can seek assistance.
Don’t forget to teach your grandchild how to advocate for themselves in academic settings, too. They should learn to keep notes about meetings and communications. Remind them they have the right to invite a supportive person to their meetings.
Understanding Prenatal Exposure to Alcohol and Drugs – a free guide!
Supporting Your College Student from a Distance
Once your grandchild, niece, or nephew heads off to college, trust and connection go hand in hand.
1. Balance connection and freedom
Please set up a weekly check-in via phone, text, or video to talk about how classes, roommates, or homesickness are going, but let them lead the conversation.
2. Encourage use of campus resources
Offer to help them find academic tutoring, mental health counseling, special interest clubs, or first-gen student groups if they are starting to struggle. Please encourage them to ask for support earlier rather than later when they feel in crisis.
They may also benefit from seeking community in spaces created specifically for them, such as cultural groups or clubs related to their field of study.
3. Celebrate small wins.
Send texts when they complete a tough assignment, successfully register for next semester’s classes, or manage their work and class load well. Give them props when they make wise choices and share with you the things they are learning or doing. Your interest and affirmations go a long way.
Oh, and if their birthday is during a semester and they cannot get home to celebrate, consider springing for a balloon, cupcake, or pizza delivery. It might be a little embarrassing, but they will also never forget the feeling of being celebrated!
Maintain – or Add – Self-Care
Preparing your grandchild for college is a significant transition. After all you’ve experienced to get this child to the moment of settling into their dorm room, you may feel some big emotions stirring up. You deserve to take care of yourself so you can be grounded and supportive.
1. Trust your strength.
You’ve come a long way to keep this student safe, loved, and supported. That matters enormously. You can use that reminder of strength to help you manage long-distance caregiving now.
2. Create a support and connection routine
Stay connected with friends, support groups, or other kinship caregivers throughout this life change. Laugh, talk, and take breaks to do what renews you, like reading, walking, or gardening. Learn a new hobby if you find you have time you didn’t have before!
3. Let go with grace
College is a significant change for this grandchild. It’s not a rejection or an abandonment of you or the rest of the family still at home. If your student struggles to adjust, trust that your love and preparations have laid the foundation they need to try again, to keep going.
Your Preparations May Be Imperfect – That’s Okay!
You don’t need to be an expert or even carry out all these preparations perfectly. When you remain deeply caring, intentionally committed, and willing to gather support along the way, you can be perfectly poised to get your grandchild off to college from a position of strength.
These strategies can combine to create a powerful recipe for helping your student head to college with confidence and hope. Your loving commitment has built a sure foundation.
Image Credits: Mikhail Nilov-https://www.pexels.com/photo/healthy-couple-love-laptop-6973089/; George Pak-https://www.pexels.com/photo/teenagers-walking-together-7972980/; Vlada Karpovich-https://www.pexels.com/photo/an-elderly-man-and-woman-carrying-yoga-mats-while-walking-8939885/
Add Your Comment