Raising a child is never easy, but when you’re raising a relative’s child—like a grandparent raising a grandchild or an aunt raising a niece or nephew—the challenges can feel even greater. People in these roles are often referred to as kinship or relative caregivers. Whatever your title, you’ve stepped in during a loved one’s hard time to provide love, safety, and stability for their child when they cannot. While the rewards can be great, the journey can also be lonely, stressful, and overwhelming. That’s why building a strong, supportive network is one of the most essential things kinship caregivers can do.

The Balancing Act is Challenging

You may be a grandparent who thought your child-raising days were long behind you. Suddenly, you are getting up early to pack lunches, help with homework, and attend school meetings. Or maybe you are an aunt or uncle stepping into the role of full-time parent. Now, your daily life revolves around soccer practice, parent-teacher conferences, and bedtime routines.

Many kinship caregivers take on these roles out of love, not because they planned to be raising kids again at this stage of life. Often, they are trying to protect the child from substance abuse, mental health struggles, jail time, or other serious issues in the birth parents’ lives. You likely care deeply for the child’s parents, too, but you also know that you must put the child’s safety and well-being first.

This can be a tough emotional balancing act. It’s painful to see someone you love struggling. It’s even more complicated when this loved one’s actions hurt a child. Having a support system that understands this complex relationship, where love and frustration are intertwined, is critical. You need safe, dependable people who won’t judge you but will listen and offer real help.

Feeling Out of Place

One of the biggest challenges kinship caregivers experience is feeling out of place in the child’s school or social settings. Grandparents may be much older than the other parents at school pickup. They might feel awkward joining the elementary school’s parent groups or attending events where most parents are in their 30s. Aunts or uncles may not have kids of their own and suddenly find themselves in social circles that focus on parenting concerns they’d never considered before.

It’s not uncommon for grandparents, aunts, or other relative caregivers to feel isolated or embarrassed about the differences in their ages or life experiences. You may feel like you don’t belong, that no other family is struggling with the issues your family is, or that your relative child doesn’t quite fit in either. It’s easy to feel invisible when you think that no one else understands your situation.

A supportive community can make a huge difference in your social settings. For example, joining a local-to-you caregiver group can help you connect with relative caregivers in your child’s school district. However, whether you participate in an online or in-person group, you can build a network with others who are going through the same thing. These groups offer a safe space for discussing, sharing parenting tips, and feeling less isolated.

Support from Many Sides

Your support doesn’t have to come only from people in the same situation. The friends, neighbors, teachers, and counselors already in your circles can also play a significant role. What matters most is finding people who listen without judging and who are willing to help.

For example, many school districts are beginning to educate their staff about the prevalence of kinship families. They are starting to gain awareness and understanding about the unique joys and challenges that relative caregiving entails. A teacher who knows this child’s primary caregiver is an aunt or grandparent can adapt and be more sensitive to the family’s unique needs. Counselors can help children express their feelings and offer guidance to caregivers, as well as recommend reliable community resources.

Similarly, faith communities, community centers, and local nonprofits can also provide valuable support and information for families like yours. Some regions in the country have robust programs specifically for kinship families, offering services such as free tutoring, parenting classes, and even legal assistance. These resources are out there—but they’re easier to find when you have people helping you look.

Navigating Challenging Behaviors: Practical Strategies for Families

Why You Need a Team

Trying to do everything for your family by yourself is not only hard—it’s nearly impossible. Raising a child, especially one who has faced trauma or instability, takes a team. Your team might include friends who babysit so you can rest, other caregivers who offer advice, social workers who connect you with services, or teachers who provide extra help at school.

Your support network should include people and organizations that provide you with emotional strength, practical assistance, and a sense of belonging. Your team should be populated with people who remind you that you’re not alone and that others are cheering you on.

How to Build Your Support Network

Building a safe, reliable support network may take time, but here are some places to start:

1. Support Groups

Look for in-person or online support groups for kinship caregivers. Organizations such as AARP, Generations United, grandfamilies.org, or your local Department of Family Services often have resources available.

Reach out to tracy@creatingafamily.org if you would like to learn about the CreatingaFamily.org online kinship community.

2. School

Let your child’s teacher or counselor know about your situation. They can offer understanding and connect you with school-based resources.

3. Neighbors and Friends

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Arranging a ride to practice for your grandchild, meeting a friend for coffee to discuss a dilemma, or scheduling a local teen to mow your lawn are all supports that can make a big difference.

4. Community Resources

Libraries, community centers, and churches often offer programs or can help you find what you need.

5. Healthcare Providers

Doctors and therapists can offer support for both you and the child, especially if mental health is a concern.

Setting Yourself Up for Success When Raising Grandkids or Relative Children

You’re Not Alone

Raising your relative’s child is a brave and loving act. You are giving this child stability, safety, and hope. However, you shouldn’t try to do this work alone. Building a support network won’t eliminate all the challenges, but it will help lighten the load.

By finding people who understand your struggles and share your values, you can create a web of support that helps both you and your relative child thrive. Whether you’re a grandparent stepping back into parenthood or an aunt learning how to raise a teenager, remember that asking for help is not a weakness! It’s a powerful example of accessing the sense of community we all need to thrive.

Image Credits: Anna Shvets - https://www.pexels.com/photo/senior-women-using-smartphone-while-surfing-internet-5257343/; Ron Lach - https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-side-view-of-grandfather-and-grandson-talking-during-breakfast-10388470/; Katerina Holmes - https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-asian-student-with-teacher-in-classroom-5905609/