Adoption and the LGBTQ Community

Adoption and the LGBT Community-1_compAs many as six million American children and adults have an LGBTQ parent, and many of these families have been formed by adoption. Over 65,000 adopted children and 14,000 foster children live with LGBTQ parents. Check out these stats:

  • Approximately 4% of all adopted children in the US are being raised by LGBTQ parents.
  • Same-sex couples are seven times more likely to be raising a foster child or adopted child than heterosexual couples.
  • Sixty percent of LGBTQ adoptions are transracial.

Keep in mind that much of this data is compiled on gay and lesbian adoption since little information is available on adoption by bi-sexuals, transgender and those who identify as queer or gender nonconforming.

While we have seen large shifts in acceptance of gay and lesbian adoption, discrimination still exists. In a 2011 national survey of 158 gay and lesbian adoptive parents, nearly half reported experiencing bias or discrimination from a child welfare worker or birth family member during the adoption process. Also, although gays and lesbians are facing less discrimination, significantly more resistance exists to adoptions by transgender and gender nonconforming people.

Acceptance of LGBTQ people adopting is increasing rapidly, especially for gays and lesbians. In fact, many gay dads tell us that they believe their sexual orientation worked in their favor when adopting an infant domestically because some birth moms wanted to remain their child’s “only mother”.

Our mission at Creating a Family is to educate and support these families because, as with all families, children do best with parents that are prepared and educated.

+ Types of Gay and Lesbian Adoptions

  • Single: an unmarried person adopts a child
  • Joint Adoption: a married or unmarried gay couple petitions to adopt a child
  • Second Parent Adoption: one parent adopts as a single and then the second parent petitions to adopt the child and share full parental responsibilities
  • Step Parent: After a legal marriage the second parent can adopt the child of their partner

+ Legality of LGBTQ Adoption

We thank the good folks at the Movement Advancement Project for these Maps of Foster and Adoption Laws.

+ How Do Kids Raised By LGBTQ Parents Fare?
Same sex parents are not a generic group and making generalizations is no easier with LGBTQ parents than with heterosexual and cisgender parents. However, we can look to the research, which almost universally finds that children with LGBTQ parents compare about the same as children with heterosexual or cisgender parents on a range of psychosocial measures of adjustment.

If you are interested in this topic, listen to this Creating a Family radio show interview with Dr. Abbie Goldberg, researcher and author of Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle or our interview with one of the leading researchers on this topic –Dr. Susan Golombok, author of Modern Families: Parents and Children in New Family Forms.

+ Should LGBTQ Parents Use an Adoption Agency or an Adoption Attorney?
If you are considering foster care adoption, you will work with either the state foster care agency or with a private agency with a contract to place foster children. In our experience, most people report getting better pre and post-adoption support when using a private agency which finds homes for kids in foster care.

If you are considering domestic infant adoption you have a choice between using an adoption agency or an adoption attorney. Some agencies specifically or subtly prohibit placement with members of the LGBTQ community, but more and more are open to working with LGBTQ families (especially lesbian and gay), and many actively solicit them. Almost all adoption attorneys are open to working with LGBTQ parents, but you will usually have to do more work on your own to find an expectant mother considering adoption.

In most domestic infant adoption, the expectant mother or couple selects the adoptive parents and we have seen a significant shift in acceptance of gay dads and lesbian moms by expectant mothers, especially gay dads. However, not all pregnant women who are considering adoption will be open to LGBTQ adoptive parents, so there are some advantages to working with an agency that has access to a larger pool of prospective birth mothers.

Statistics are hard to come by, but research suggests that 60% of the adoption agencies in the US accept applications from same-sex couples, which means that 40% of adoption agencies have written or unwritten policies prohibiting or discouraging placing children with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or transgenders. It is best to choose an agency at the beginning that does not discriminate against you since once you have invested time and money with an agency, your options are fewer. We provide you with the Top Ten Tips for Finding a Gay or Lesbian Friendly Adoption Agency or Adoption Attorney. Of course, acceptance of gay prospective parents is not the only criteria you should consider. Follow our 3 step process for choosing an adoption agency to find the right one for you.

Creating a Family has resources on LGBTQ adoption. A few we think you will find particularly helpful are:

More Creating a Family Radio Show/Podcast with experts, videos, blogs, fact sheets, and Q and A’s with Experts on LGBT adoption can be found at the icons below.

Sources: Creating a Family radio shows below,, Cornell University 2017;  The Williams Institute 2010, The Williams Institute 2018, Donaldson Adoption Institute 2013

Additional Resources

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Creating a Family Radio Shows on Gay Adoption

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Creating a Family Blogs on Gay Adoption

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Creating a Family Factsheets, Tips on Gay Adoption

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Creating a Family Videos on Gay Adoption

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Q and A's with Experts on Gay Adoption

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Content created by Creating a Family. And remember, there are no guarantees in adoption or infertility treatment. The information provided or referenced on this website should be used only as part of an overall plan to help educate you about the joys and challenges of adopting a child or dealing with infertility. Although the following seems obvious, our attorney insists that we tell you specifically that the information provided on this site may not be appropriate or applicable to you, and despite our best efforts, it may contain errors or important omissions. You should rely only upon the professionals you employ to assist you directly with your individual circumstances. CREATING A FAMILY DOES NOT WARRANT THE INFORMATION OR MATERIALS contained or referenced on this website. CREATING A FAMILY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS LIABILITY FOR ERRORS or omissions in this information and materials and PROVIDES NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, implied, express or statutory. IN NO EVENT WILL CREATING A FAMILY BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, including without limitation direct or indirect, special, incidental, or consequential damages, losses or expenses arising out of or in connection with the use of the information or materials, EVEN IF CREATING A FAMILY OR ITS AGENTS ARE NEGLIGENT AND/OR ARE ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.