Ten Tips for Finding a LGBTQ Friendly Adoption Agency or Attorney
- Look over the agency website. Ideally, they will state on their website that they are open to working with same-sex couples or LGBTQ singles. But if not specifically stated, at the very least you would like to see pictures of same-sex couples with their children and inclusive language.
- In your first conversation with any prospective agency or attorney tell them your sexual orientation or gender identity and judge their reaction.
- Ask to see the application and other agency forms you will have to fill out. Do they use inclusive language, such as “partner” instead of “spouse” or “parent 1” and “parent 2” rather than “mother” and “father”.
- Ask agency if they have placed children with families that look like yours. (Gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, transracial, single, etc.) Specifically ask how many of these adoptions they have completed in the last year, the last two years. How long was the average wait for families like yours that were looking for the type of child that you are hoping to adopt (age, gender, race, and prenatal risk factors that you think are best for your family)?
- Network with other gay adoptive parents in person or online and ask what agency or attorney they used. A great place to find LGBTQ-headed families is through the Family Equality Council, which has a state-by-state list of family support groups. Many of these families have been formed by adoption and they will be one of your best sources for referrals and support.
- The Human Rights Campaign lists agencies that have fulfilled all the requirements of their All Children – All Families initiative. These requirements specify specific actions an agency must take to be considered totally open to LGBTQ prospective adoptive families.
- Ask agencies to send you information in the mail. Check out their printed material for inclusive language and pictures.
- Ask the agency or attorney for references from other gay families with whom they have successfully placed children.
- Ask if they require LGBTQ applicant to jump through any additional hoops. Note that many agencies have additional requirements for single applicants, such as requiring you to select a guardian who would be willing to raise your child in case you died prematurely. Most of these single only requirements as reasonable and in the best interest of the child.
- Trust your gut. Most members of the LGBTQ community have well-honed skills at detecting prejudice–spoken and unspoken. Do you feel comfortable with the people you have met? It may not be possible at the very beginning, but it never hurts to ask to meet the person who will be your primary agency contact and the social worker that will be conducting your home study.
October 22, 2009
Thank you for sharing these valuable tips for finding LGBTQ-friendly adoption agencies or attorneys. It’s crucial for LGBTQ individuals and couples who are looking to adopt to ensure that they are working with professionals who are supportive and inclusive.
In addition to these tips, it’s also worth considering the importance of finding an LGBTQ-friendly church or faith community as part of the adoption journey. Many LGBTQ individuals and couples may want to raise their adopted children within a religious or spiritual context that aligns with their values.
Finding an LGBTQ-friendly church or faith community can provide emotional support, a sense of belonging, and a place to celebrate both their faith and their family. It’s a space where children can grow up feeling accepted and loved for who they are, and where parents can find a supportive network of fellow believers.
If you’re on the journey of adoption and are also seeking an LGBTQ-friendly church or faith community, consider reaching out to organizations like the Family Equality Council or LGBTQ support groups within your area. These resources can help connect you with welcoming faith communities that embrace diversity and inclusivity.
Remember, creating a loving and supportive environment for your family, both through the adoption process and in your faith community, is essential for the well-being of your children and your own peace of mind.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Olivia.
We agree — it’s essential for families to recognize that one of the protective factors we can offer our kids is the anchor of spirituality. You might appreciate this article for more efforts parents can make to buffer their kids from trauma, challenging life stories, and other struggles common to adoptive families. This online course is specifically for helping parents welcome and raise kids who identify as LGBTQ+.
Thanks also for the resources listed. We hope you come back and read again!