Did you know that persons of mixed race represent the fastest-growing group in the US? Within our adoptive, foster, and kinship communities, it’s increasingly common to see families raising children of color and races that are not the same as the parents or caregivers raising them. Raising a mixed-race or biracial child can bring unique joys and challenges particular to that child’s needs, but also specific to the child’s racial or cultural makeup. Whether you are already raising a bi-racial or multiracial child, or you are considering whether you are ready for this adventure, there are a few things we hope you will think about and prepare for.

4 Tips for Raising a Biracial or Multiracial Child

Every parent or caregiver wants their kids to be confident, proud of who they are, and able to embrace their stories. When you are raising a child of several racial or cultural backgrounds, it’s essential to recognize that you may need additional education, support, and tools to do that well. These tips aren’t comprehensive “how to” ideas for raising a biracial or multiracial child. Still, they are an excellent start in preparing your family well for a child’s journey toward a healthy identity.

1. Examine your thoughts and beliefs about race and culture honestly.

Before you can guide your child toward a healthy racial or cultural identity, it’s essential to be honest with yourself. Start the introspection with a few of these questions:

  • How did your family of origin talk about race? For example, did they demonstrate openness or exclusion?
  • Where did those beliefs or values originate?
  • Are there things you’ve always believed about races or cultures other than your own that might not be fair or true?

If your family is not prepared to think deeply about your beliefs and values around race and culture, then adopting a child who has more than one race or culture in their makeup might not be the right plan, right now, for you. You can pump the brakes and either more thoroughly educate yourself or consider only adopting a child of your same race. Kids pick up on the way adults talk about race, whether it’s spoken or demonstrated directly or not. So please make sure your words and actions reflect the respect and love every child deserves.

Strengthening & Supporting Your Transracial Adoptee – a free guide

2. Seek to understand the myriad issues facing mixed-race people.

In 2020, Vox published a 3-part series featuring the voices of mixed-race Americans. These seven themes emerged from the related survey and the commentaries in that series:

#1: Being mixed race often feels like “no man’s land.”

Many of the participants reported feeling like they didn’t belong in either of the racial communities from which they came. They may appear to be one race on the outside, while feeling like a different race on the inside. 

#2: “What are you?” is intrusive and confusing.

Persons of mixed race frequently face the “What are you?” or “Where are you from?” types of questions. These intrusive questions can feel shaming, hurtful, and confusing, and add to the stress of navigating identity.

#3: Many multiracial or biracial persons don’t feel entirely accepted by either race.

#4: They often feel pressured to pick one racial identity over another.

#5: Multiracial persons report feeling isolated.

Without a racial community or support system with which to connect, they sometimes feel that no one understands them. They may also not feel represented in their circles by other mixed-race people, which compounds the isolation.

#6: They may feel confused about their identity.

#7: Many mixed-race persons reject the idea of singular labels.

3. Build a diverse environment around your child.

Your child will probably understand white culture just by living in it. After all, it’s all around them in schools, TV, books, and more. But when you welcome a child of another race or culture, or of multiple races and cultures, it’s crucial to provide access to all parts of who they are.

You can support them in learning more about their race or culture of birth by learning all you can about their birth family and culture. Another helpful learning opportunity is to expose yourself and them to books, shows, and movies featuring characters who look like them.

Try to frequently explore art, food, music, and holidays from all aspects of their heritage, including toys, dolls, and action figures that represent role models from many different backgrounds.  Some families may decide to move to build a more culturally and racially diverse community for their child.

As you build this diverse environment for them, talk openly and often about how cool and powerful it is to be part of more than one race. Intentionally praise, admire, and celebrate your child’s racial heritages! It will not only help them form a healthy identity but also broaden and enrich your family’s world.

Looking for Diverse Books for Kids

4. Be open to examining and confronting racism.

We all know that racism is real and problematic. It will show up in media, including the news, in schools, and in friend groups. First, train yourself to question issues such as under- and over-representation, questionable handling of conflicts and resolutions, and access to resources. Then practice teaching your children, regardless of race or culture, to do the same.

It’s okay for our kids to question what they see and how to address it, so representation is more comprehensive. Please encourage them to ask why certain races are always shown in the same roles, or why some stories get told more than others. When you model and teach them to think critically and navigate tough conversations, you are equipping them with the skills to reflect on their own place in this world.

Biracial and Mixed Race Identity is Fluid

As you and your child grow in understanding of their story, their feelings about their racial identity might likely shift. That’s okay! Their racial identity isn’t fixed. Instead, it’s fluid and dynamic and can grow as your child grows. Your focus should be on preparing yourself to support them as they navigate the shifts.

Your love for your child is powerful, but as with many issues in parenting an adoptive, foster, or relative child, love alone is not enough. Rather than taking previous eras’ “color blind” approaches, step into this chlid’s racial and cultural identity with them. Be present and involved, listening to them and instilling pride for all the parts that make up who they are at every stage.

Image Credits: Gustavo Fring: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-girl-and-a-boy-playing-chess-on-the-sofa-7156352/; megostudio: https://elements.envato.com/asian-woman-sitting-on-concrete-stairs-CGP7EGU; Prostock-studio: https://elements.envato.com/family-of-three-sharing-love-and-joy-in-a-warm-lig-NLQUL5J