Adoption can feel confusing, stressful, and even scary, especially if you’re not sure the agency or attorney will treat you with respect. For many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, finding an adoption agency or attorney that fits your family well and can guide you through this adoption is the first important step.
10 Tips to Find an LGBTQ+-Friendly Adoption Agency or Attorney
These ten tips will help you find an adoption agency or attorney who supports LGBTQ+ families. Learning about your options now will help your family succeed later.
1. Check Out Their Website
Before calling around, look closely at the agency or attorney’s website. Do they clearly say they work with LGBTQ+ families? Do they show pictures of same-sex couples with children or use welcoming words like “all families welcome”? These are signs that they may be LGBTQ+-friendly.
2. Notice Their Reaction When You First Talk
When you first speak with them, share your sexual orientation or gender identity. Pay close attention to how they respond. Are they respectful, kind, and open? Their tone and reaction can tell you if they may be a good fit.
Parenting a Child Exposed to Trauma
3. Look at Their Printed Materials
Ask the agency or attorney to send printed brochures or other information. Check if they include LGBTQ+ families in their language and photos. This shows whether they truly welcome all kinds of families.
4. Review Their Forms
Before filling out any paperwork, ask to review the forms. Look for inclusive language like “Parent 1” and “Parent 2” instead of “Mother” and “Father,” or “partner” instead of “spouse.” These details matter and can show how respectful and informed the agency or attorney is.
5. Ask About Their Experience
Ask how much experience they have working with LGBTQ+ people and families to help you determine if they can be a good fit for your adoption process.
- How many families like yours have they helped adopt in the past year or two?
- What kind of children were involved (age, background, race, needs)?
- What are the average wait times for families like yours?
6. Ask for Referrals
Many agencies and attorneys will happily supply references and referrals when you ask. Look for their willingness to offer opportunities to speak with other LGBTQ+ families they have worked with. Talking to those families – by phone, video, or email – can help you understand what you might experience before, during, and after adoption.
7. Talk to Your “Village”
Ask trusted family members, friends, or LGBTQ+ adoptive parents if they know of good agencies or attorneys. If you don’t have people you feel safe asking, check out the following resources:
- The Family Equality Council offers many resources for LGBTQ+ families, including state-by-state support groups (many include foster and adoptive parents).
- The Human Rights Campaign has tools and support for LGBTQ+ adoptive and foster families, including a searchable list of child welfare agencies committed to inclusion.
This is also a good time to start building your parenting support system, especially if you may be raising a child who has experienced trauma or prenatal substance exposure.
8. Ask About Staff Training and Policies
You should also consider asking if the agency or attorney follows LGBTQ+ best practices, such as those shared by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation for child welfare professionals. Have their staff received training to work with LGBTQ+ families? Do they keep up with new, inclusive practices? This shows how serious they are about supporting all families.
9. Watch for Extra Rules
Agencies or attorneys may occasionally require extra steps for LGBTQ+ people or single parents. For example, they may ask a single parent to choose a legal guardian for the child in case the single parent passes away while the child is a minor.
Sometimes these extra rules are fair and made to protect the child. However, if you feel you’re being asked to do more than others without sound reasoning, speak up and ask why. Their answers should make sense and treat you fairly.
10. Trust Your Gut
Many LGBTQ+ people are used to sensing when something feels welcoming and safe or not. Trust that feeling. If you can, meet the main people you’ll work with, like your case worker or the social worker who will do your home study. Then ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe and respected?
- Can I be honest and open here?
- Will they support me before, during, and after adoption?
- Do they genuinely want my family to succeed?
Your instincts and experiences matter—listen to your gut!
Invest in Your Family
Finding the right adoption agency or attorney is a big step. It’s an investment in your future and your child’s future. Learning to ask questions, do research, and build support now will help you throughout the adoption process—and in parenting, too.
LGBTQ+ families formed by adoption may face some unique challenges. When you start the journey with an adoption agency or attorney that is the right fit for you, you have the building blocks of a sure foundation for your family to grow and thrive.
Image Credits: Abby Chung; SHVETS production; Tima Miroshnichenko
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