When raising children affected by trauma, it’s crucial to understand intergenerational trauma. Intergenerational trauma is the idea that the psychological effects of trauma are passed down through generations. It can affect not only those directly impacted but also their descendants. In this article, we’ll explore intergenerational trauma, how it impacts us and the children in our care, and how we can support them to heal and thrive.
What is Intergenerational Trauma?
Intergenerational trauma involves the passing of trauma from one generation to the next. This transmission can happen in several ways:
Genetic Changes
Research suggests that stress responses can change gene expression, meaning the psychological impact of trauma can be biologically inherited.
Behavioral Patterns
Children often copy their caregivers’ behaviors. If a parent or relative caregiver is struggling with unresolved trauma, they may show patterns of avoidance or aggression. Our kids may pick up and copy those coping mechanisms.
Emotional Availability
Adults dealing with generational trauma may find it hard to be emotionally present for their children. This can lead to attachment issues, where children feel insecure or unsupported.
Communication Styles
Families affected by trauma often develop unhealthy communication habits, like bottling up emotions or avoiding their feelings. This can create an environment where children’s emotional needs go unmet.
How Trauma Impacts a Child’s Development
Where Does Intergenerational Trauma Come From?
To help you better understand intergenerational trauma, here are a few examples of historical events and experiences to show how trauma can ripple through generations:
Historical Oppression
Consider a family with ancestry linked to Indigenous peoples in North America. Generations ago, their ancestors faced displacement, violence, and cultural erasure as settlers took their land. This trauma resulted in physical and emotional distress, leading to substance abuse and identity struggles for those who experienced it firsthand. Their descendants may also struggle with ongoing feelings of loss, disconnection from their heritage, and continuing systemic oppression today.
War and Conflict
Imagine a family whose grandparents were refugees fleeing war-torn countries like Vietnam or Syria. The trauma of fleeing violence, losing loved ones, and starting over in a foreign land created deep emotional scars. Children of refugees often struggle with anxiety, depression, or feelings of inadequacy. Carrying the weight of their parents’ traumatic experiences and expectations for a new life while trying to navigate their own identities in a new culture can be overwhelming.
Generational Poverty
Families with a history of poverty can experience cycles of trauma that span generations. For example, grandparents facing unemployment during a recession may pass on stress and anxiety to their children. The next generation may then adopt a scarcity mindset, believing they are never secure, which can, in turn, instill feelings of inadequacy and fear in their children.
Abuse and Neglect
When your grandparents experienced childhood abuse, they may have found it challenging to form and maintain healthy relationships. Parenting was a challenge, and your parent developed similar unhealthy patterns of behavior. The cycles of disorganized, insecure, or avoidant attachment thus continue into the next generation.
What are the Impacts of Intergenerational Trauma?
Our kids in the adoption, foster, and kinship communities have often come from backgrounds where trauma has played a significant role. You might see the impacts of their trauma in these ways:
- Attachment issues
- Identity development struggles
- Behavioral challenges
- Emotional dysregulation
Practical Tips for Parents and Caregivers
Understanding intergenerational trauma is just the first step. The next step is to figure out how to support children affected by it. These practical tips can help you support the kids in your home who are impacted by intergenerational trauma:
1. Create a Safe and Stable Environment
Children who have faced trauma need a sense of safety and stability to find healing.
Establish Routines
Consistent daily routines provide a sense of predictability. Knowing what to expect next helps reduce anxiety and create a feeling of security.
Cultivate Safety
Create a safe space in your home where children can retreat when they feel overwhelmed. You can work with the child to make a cozy corner with pillows, books, and calming items. Praise them when they use these spaces to calm themselves or when they ask you for help to do so. Normalize soothing tones and gentle, calming language when you sense they are feeling unsafe.
Set Clear Boundaries
Be clear and consistent about what is okay in this home and what is not. When children know what to expect, they will feel safe and learn to thrive. A simple set of concise, specific rules can help them feel secure.
2. Foster Open Communication
Encouraging your kids to express their feelings can be incredibly healing. Open communication should include these elements:
Active Listening
When children talk, listen without interrupting. Validate their feelings and let them know it’s okay to express themselves.
Encouraging Expression
Help them find a niche for self-expression, such as art, journaling, or music. These activities can help children communicate their feelings in non-verbal ways.
Normalize Talking About Emotions
Discuss feelings as a regular part of family life. Use daily check-ins to ask how everyone is feeling.
3. Educate Yourself and Your Family
Understanding these basics about intergenerational trauma can empower you as a caregiver. Consider how to continue learning and growing in your ability to tackle the topics as they arise. You can listen to our recent podcast on the subject.
CreatingaFamily.org has many resources to help you better understand trauma and its impacts on a child’s development. We also offer parent and caregiver interactive support communities, where you can learn alongside peers who are raising children in similar circumstances. Reach out to tracy@creatingafamily.org to learn more!
Normalize Family Discussions about Trauma
By discussing with your family what you are learning, you can model a growth mindset that encourages them to seek healing for themselves as well. Your empathetic and curious approach to your family’s issues can also empower them to be more curious.
4. Implement Trauma-Informed Care Parenting
Learning and implementing a trauma-informed approach to raising these kids will significantly benefit them in these and other ways:
- Fostering a sense of autonomy in children and allowing them to make appropriate choices can help them regain a sense of control.
- Understanding and managing triggers. Awareness of what may trigger distress in your child allows you to manage or minimize exposures. You can also teach them how to identify and cope with the triggers as they grow.
- Emphasizes patience. Recovering from trauma of any kind is a process. When you practice patience and understanding, you lend your regulation and safety to this child, allowing them to learn how to navigate their feelings and behaviors.
5. Build a Support Network
You cannot do this healing work or lead a child to healing in isolation. If you don’t have one already, build a strong support system by joining parent or caregiver groups, engaging in therapy, and pulling extended family or friends into your circle.
6. Encourage Resilience and Coping Skills
Helping your family build resilience is crucial for your long-term well-being.
Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Show your kids healthy ways to manage stress, including regular physical activity, mindfulness practices, or creative outlets such as gardening, journaling, or other hobbies.
Teach Emotional Regulation
Begin with co-regulation and help your children recognize and understand their emotions. Then, learn skills together, like deep breathing techniques or grounding exercises.
Celebrate Progress
Praise them! Whenever your child has a small victory over a trigger, celebrate it! Recognizing their efforts to grow and heal will boost their confidence and encourage continued growth.
When Intergenerational Trauma Connects to Identity & Culture
For many children in care, especially adopted ones, navigating and developing identity can be particularly challenging. They will need your support to form a healthy identity.
1. Explore their heritage with them
Encourage children to learn about their cultural backgrounds. Read books together, explore and prepare traditional meals, or participate in cultural events together as a family.
2. Create a community
Look for ways to form relationships with and participate in the communities that share your child’s heritage. Seek out mentoring relationships for yourself and the child with others who share similar backgrounds to foster a sense of belonging.
3. Validate their lived experiences
Listen, acknowledge, and empathize with your child’s identity formation. Let them know it’s okay to have mixed feelings about their past and current family.
Strengthening & Supporting Your Transracial Adoptee
You Can Break Cycles
Intergenerational trauma is a complex issue that affects many of the children in our homes. When we take the time to understand what it is, what it might look like, and why it matters to us and those kids, we can create a nurturing environment that promotes healing and resilience. With patience, empathy, and proper support, you can help children navigate their paths toward healing and a brighter future. Together, you can break the cycles of trauma and create strong, supportive family dynamics in their place.
Image Credits: RDNE Stock project; Ahmed akacha; Vanessa Loring
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