Adoptive Parents Answers to “When Is That Baby Coming?”

Dawn Davenport


"When is your adopted baby going to arrive?"

If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a million times–“When is that baby going to get here?” If you’re pregnant you have an answer. If adopting, you haven’t had an answer until now. Enjoy.

OK, let’s see a raise of hands–When adopting, who has heard the question “When are you going to get a baby? or “Have you received any news yet?” You can all lower your hands. We know that most people mean well and simply don’t understand the adoption process. We also know that it is not only adoptive parents who get this question. Plenty of pregnant woman have heard some variation on this theme, but the difference is that within nine months, give or take a few weeks, pregnant woman can give an answer. With adoption, one never has a good answer. That is until now.

With the help of our online community I present to you the Top Ten Answers for “When Are You Going To Get an Adoption Placement/Referral/Match.” And as always we have two lists: one with answers you can use and one with our snarky answers that let us vent our steam and make us giggle.

Top Ten Answers (Plus One) to “When Are You Going to Get a Baby/Child?” (Real Version)

  1. “We don’t know when. But I assure you that as soon as we know, we will tell you.”
  2. “I don’t know, but I can’t wait.”
  3. “God only knows–literally.”
  4. I’m practicing patience, might get a match when I have it perfected.
  5. Your guess is as good as mine!
  6. “It could be 5 years, it could be tomorrow. We just aren’t sure.”
  7. It’ll happen when it happens.
  8. “I have no idea when we might bring home a child, and although I know you mean well, it would be so much easier on me if you didn’t ask and just trust that if I have something to share, I will share it.”
  9. Family asked us often (sometimes days in a row!) and I breathe, smile, and say, “Nothing yet.” After some time I started to love the question, “Any word?” Because I felt it left a lot of room for the imagination. ne day when a friend asked, “Any word?” I said, “Just one, Quinoa.” and left it at that. Next time, think I’ll say “Rutabaga”.
  10. It doesn’t bother me when people ask. I either tell them “no nothing right now”, or if our profile has been shown recently then I’ll tell them “our profile was just shown to an expecting mom, but we haven’t heard anything yet.”
  11. “Just like babies by birth, sometimes it takes time for them to happen and we know God has just the right little one in mind for our family and we will get to know him/her/them at the right time.”

Top Ten Answers (Plus One) to “When Are You Going to Get a Baby/Child?” (Snarky Version)

  1. “Add a week (or day) to my answer the last time you asked.”
  2. “Oh darn, I knew I forgot to tell someone”
  3. “Wal-Mart says they’re on back-order, but they think they’ll be back in stock next month”
  4. “Dang it! Every time someone asks us that, our file goes back to the bottom of the pile!”
  5. “I have a brown thumb, I can’t get the kid bush to bloom.”
  6. “The 11th of Never”
  7. *Sigh* “Are we going to have this conversation again?? OK this time I’ll talk slow and use little words when explaining the adoption process for you.”
  8. “Our adoption agency has decided not to tell us when the baby is coming. They are just going to drop the baby off at our door. Cool, huh?”
  9. “Oh shucks, I guess I forgot him at home. It’s so hard to remember a new child!”
  10. “When YOU stop asking!!!!!”
  11. “Knowing in advance takes the fun out of adoption. We like living on the wild side.”

We know we’ve left some out. What are your favorite responses to “So when is that child ever going to come?”


Image credit:  Brandon Milner

28/08/2013 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Blog | 2 Comments

2 Responses to Adoptive Parents Answers to “When Is That Baby Coming?”

  1. Avatar Connie Lymburner says:

    My husband has decided his new answer will be ”it’s on backorder”.

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