This beautiful essay on foster parenting caught our attention this week. Having said good-bye to one foster child already, the author wonders if and how she will be able to embark on the journey of fully loving another child. She’s chosen to move forward with a foster-to-adopt placement but even so, she has had misgivings.

I wanted to do it. I wanted to grow my family. I wanted to provide a family to a child who needed one and was waiting for one to present itself. But this time, I knew better than to feel ready for something so unpredictable.

Though this placement it is most likely to result in an adoption finalization, the author admits to still holding herself back a bit to this point in their relationship. As they prepare to move him in to their home full time after the transition period is over, she realizes just what it was that was preventing her from moving forward. What it was that kept her from fully embracing this new kid who has “captured her heart.” And she decides she’s all in.

Yes, I can do this again. Because doing this means I get to have him in my life and already, so quickly, I can’t imagine it otherwise….

Her honesty and self-awareness is a lovely peek into the heart of fostering.

Photo Credit: Ileana Soon