We have become accustomed to seeing white parents with black and brown kids. We see them in People Magazine and standing in front of us in the grocery store line. Far more unusual, however, are black families adopting white kids. Why?
How Many Black Parents Adopt White Kids?
I posted a blog on this topic a couple of years ago and several people have asked me how common it is. Statistics on African-American parents adopting Caucasian babies or children are surprisingly hard to come by. I’ve read that 8%* of white kids in foster care are adopted by black or interracial families and 2% of adoptions in general were of black parents adopting white kids.
Caucasian families adopting black or brown kids is far more common-approximately 40% of all adoptions in the US are now interracial. Transracial adoptions (white parents/black or brown adoptee) vary by type of adoption.
- 21% of domestic infant adoptions are transracial (although I believe this figure to be rising)
- 28% of foster care adoptions are transracial
- 84% of international adoptions are transracial
Most Often in Foster Care Adoption
I was unable to find good statistical evidence for this, but most often in cases that I’ve heard or read about with African-American parents adopting a white child, the child started out as the foster child of the black family or had some prior relationship with the family and was later adopted. In other words, situations where the circumstance presented itself vs. a situation where the black parents intentionally sought out a white child. As one social worker put it: black parents seldom ask for white children in general, but usually accept them in the particular.”

Of course, there are exceptions, such as the adoption of a Hispanic newborn by Dallas Cowboys linebacker DeMarcus Ware and his wife, Taniqua. See picture at top of blog.
Nosy Stares
Interracial adoptive families get stares, regardless if it’s black parents adopting white kids or white parents adopting black kids.
“I get looks wherever I go,” “People go, Is he yours?’ I hate that question. What difference does it make?”~ Kim Stokes, black mom to a white child.
“I’ve never felt more self-consciously black than while holding our little white girl’s hand in public.” ~ Mark Riding, a black dad to a white daughter

Why Aren’t More Black Families Adopting White/Hispanic Kids?
Some reasons that have been suggested for fewer blacks adopting white babies/children include:
- There are fewer blacks families adopting in general.
- More blacks adopt or informally obtain guardianship of children in the extended family.
- There is a longer wait to adopt a white baby or child.
- Depending on the agency, it may cost more to adopt a white baby.
- Proportionately, there are more African-American children in foster care in need of families.
- Not wanting the hassle/risk of being thought of as the nanny or kidnapper of the child.
- Not wanting to exposure the child to prejudice and racism that black families face.
- Hostility/questions from other blacks as to why they didn’t adopt a black child.
Do you know a black family that adopted a white child/baby? Why doesn’t this happen more often?
*I was unable to find a primary source for this statistic. If anyone finds it, please let me know.
Image credit:Demarcus Ware and daughter: Bryaan Bazaar
Elaine Russell and daughter: Seattle Times
Nicole, Lionel, and Brenda Richie: Old School Music
Yes, I know someone. Myself & my wife. We have (2) teenagers.
This answers many questions about the changing of attitudes of society and our children in general. Interesting. Seems there needs to be more studies and data to be collected, researched to see if it will shed light on our , barbies, children, teens young adults, adults, and seniors and mental health issues.
I’m a white girl in black fam. I was adopted at age 12 and I came from a neonazi hillbilly family *LOL*
I’m french speaking Cajun girl 🙂
My black parents also speak french, but another type of french 🙂 so we have invented our own family french 🙂
I LOVE MY LIFE TODAY :)))
Tracy Whitney, any updated stats as to percentage of white kids adopted by black families? I have been searching but not much data. Thank you. Talmadge
It’s hard to come by these stats! I’m not sure it will help you, but I found this 2017 resource from the Census Bureau and this article from Parents.com that doesn’t offer hard, updated stats on black parents adopting white kids, but it DOES link to the Children’s Bureau’s AFCAR data.
We’ve dug into the AFCAR data in this annual post. However, that report is child-focused and thus doesn’t specify the race/ethnicity of adoptive or foster parents. Additionally, data from infant adoption is not regulated nor required at the federal level and data from international adoption doesn’t specify the race of the parents either.
I hope these links help you somewhat!
In 1995 after my bio mom killed my twin brother me and my sister were adopted by a single African american mother In mo. It still seems to be unheard of. But I wouldn’t change the outcome for anything in the world
Keith,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother and the horrific trauma you experienced. And I’m glad you found a safe, loving place to land! Thanks for sharing your story.
This topic of interacial adoption has really intrigued me lately. I am apart of a transracial adoption. White infact adopted by Black senior Woman . Although my life is my norm this sort of adoption is rare. Ive navigated this alone mostly . Im only now beginning to stand tall in who I am . I naturally picked up the African American culture through my mother’s ( adopted but she was my mother ) strong southern roots. This has been a silent painful and misunderstood journey. To say the least . High points like live sees absolutely no color . I’ve decided to ine day create a memior now that im into social work . I also inherited the trauma embedded in my mothers culture . Which is soooo normalized . Enjoyed reading this article thanks
Thanks for sharing your story, Jean. We hope your memoir helps many who face the same struggles. Good luck to you in preparing it!
Jean,
Please write that book…it sounds like you have a powerful story to tell, and a heart/voice to match. Wishing you peace, power, and joy on your journey. ❤️
I’m white with blue eyes I was adopted a day old and my mommy is from Trinidad I had no issues just a lot of fights when people say to N word to my mother
Thanks for sharing some of your story. I’m sorry that folks used that ugly word about your mother. It’s so unkind and really hard to bear, especially when it’s aimed at someone we love.
I wish to stay anonymous since this topic is sensitive. But I am girl that is soon 15. I am white and totally normal, I am a good student (best), I am good in sports, I am the the debate AND robotics club in school. AND I am also a professional photo model on Tik Tok.
Tomorrow I will be photolisted AGAINST my will. I’ve seen other photolistings and I am NOT LIKE THEM. I do not belong there…
So tomorrow my case worker will photolist me…. and .. she is BLACK. So I was thinkin if this is some racist thing against me because I am white? because she is so eager to photolist me, I have told her that I am not gonna be photolisted. And when I compared myself to others who are photolisted …. she …went mad at me….She have no right to be angry at me, in her job that is not allowed!! I have the right to use the “R word” about others …
Is it a crime to be too good for photolisting??? Is it a crime to be a nice mentally normal white girl WHO DO NOT BELONG in some online auction with my pic and her stupid text about me…?? And I am not gonna allow myself to be adopted too. Why not give me my own apartment? I am old enough for that.
My plan is clear… when people see my ad and starts to contact my case worker and she let them meet or speak to me I will be SO RUDE so no stupid family out there will have me LOL.
I am also falsely accused for being a bully in school. Accused .. by .. yes u guesssed right : A black teacher LOL.
From a girl THAT IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION AND NEVER WILL BE!
u are too coward to post this since y’all are friends of photolistings here
Dear NotAdoptableGirl,
I’m so sorry that your voice is not being heard and respected by your caseworker. I’m so sorry that you are looking for the kind of support that you are not getting. I’m also so sorry that your experiences have been so horrible in school and in the system. I hope and pray that you find a way forward that gives you the love you deserve and allows you to love in return. Whether that’s a permanent family, a long-term foster family, or another significant relationship that supports and guides you well.
You sound very racist and ungrateful that black lady didn’t put you in there maybe she should give up on you like your parents did!!! You are rude and come off very nasty someone needed to tell you the world doe does not revolve around you
Wtf is photolistings? Sounds super creepy that any adult who can afford to get nasty criminal offenses/charges taken off their record… Can then scroll through and pic which kid they want to have. Like that shit is whack yo
One thing I have been thinking about is if there are ANY non-white country that white kids can be adopted to. Any asian, african country and so on? Do you know if that’s the case?
I mean … white people adopt a lot of non-white kids to their countries. Why not the other way around? There are nowadays plenty of non-white countries with high living standards.
Adoption from the US to another country is possible but not common. This is primarily because there is a foster system in place that first finds ways to place children with family or foster homes here in the States where reunification is the goal. Not sure if it’s comparable to this article focused on Black families adopting white kids here though.
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/adoptions-from-us.html
im a white girl that have been in both black, asian ( filipino mothers rules) and white foster families and i can tell u they are all the same : BAD *LOL*
naah just kidding, some good, some bad, skin color doesnt matter
right now i m in a black family in seattle and its ok for the moment
honestly im scard to turn 18 i dont want that to happen, i wanna stay here bcs they are OK
just OK, nothing more, but still OK
my dream is to stay in this family
every night i m crying and praying i wanna stay here after 18
i just cant imagine i must leave soon
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for reaching out and sharing your thoughts. I’m so sorry that you are struggling with where you belong and where you will go once you turn 18. I hope you can find a way to talk through this with your current foster family and with your caseworker to find the best fit. I totally understand your dream to stay and to remain part of the family — change is scary and hard. No kid should have to navigate it all alone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers (tho I know it sounds trite, I really mean it.).
Happy New Year — and the very best wishes for your future.
Tracy (for the whole CreatingaFamily.org team)
Jennifer. You are saying that your foster parents are just “OK“. I’m not sure what that means but ask yourself what are you to them? Are you just “OK“? Or are you something special to them?
Please tell us how you are, today! I hope you’re ok!
Jennifer,
Many years ago, during my first years in college as an undergrad, I started a university sponsored club designed to help kids in the foster system apply for college, take university tours, secure state & federal funding for tuition, locate scholarships to apply for, and in many cases, receive funding for books, supplies, and living expenses. There are a lot of programs available to kids who are preparing to age out of the foster system receive an education…but it’s not always easy to navigate these programs, or apply for grants/scholarships, and often people get trapped in a system of predatory loans without the proper guidance. I wish I could offer you a name & phone number, but it has been so many years that I’m not sure I’d even be able to reach anyone I used to work with. But, I do know that these organizations exist, and there are people who will help you, if that’s something you’re interested in.
If there are any universities, or community colleges that you’re interested in, reach out to admissions, or counseling offices. Make appointments to meet with them. Ask them if they sponsor any organizations, or clubs like the one I started. Find out about tours, and mentors. You have so much to offer the world, but the world hasn’t always given you the tools. If you seek them out, I think you might find them. I hope you will. I can’t make you any promises, but if this family doesn’t end up being your forever family…in my experience, you will build your own. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth having ever is — the work & the effort is where you find success. For a family, all you need is love. Find your place in this world, sweet girl. It’s out there….and it’s waiting for you.
I’m 23 and I’ve spoke. With social workers and their response to connecting me with resources and programs to help me navigate getting the things CPS owes to me.
here in sweden its kinda common and really not a big deal, i can easily name at least 20 white girls in my school that are family-placed in black families or about to be that the coming weeks…
Aamiina – somali girl in Stockholm
Hi Aamiina,
Thanks for weighing in on the topic. It’s interesting to hear that it’s not uncommon in Stockholm. I’m sure there are other pockets around the world where it’s not unusual to see.
Tracy :
I am just a curious woman here… This article is like the no 1 google hit on this interesting topic now.
What is your opinion? I mean are you positive to this white-to-black-adoption thing?
Do you think it will be more and more common? And is it something you prefer instead of white-to-white adoption?
Do you agree with Tabitah that it will maybe be the most common type of adoption?
Hi Becca,
Yes, this article gets lots of hits regularly. It’s obviously a hot topic for many folks.
I’ll speak for our organization as a whole to answer your questions. We support the adoption of children into homes where the parents are well-prepared and well-supported to meet the needs of the children they adopt. Certainly, adopting a child who is of a different race, ethnicity or culture than your race, ethnicity or culture requires added layers of preparation and ongoing support but we are committed to that mission and work daily to provide resources to meet that need. We do think that it has the opportunity to become more widely accepted and commonly practiced, for a couple of reasons:
1) the needs are so great and there are many reputable organizations like ours that are committed to raising awareness of the numbers of kids who wait for permanency
2) our population projections indicate that demographics are shifting and white persons in America will not be the majority by numbers for long
We don’t have a preference for how kids get adopted — EXCEPT that they get adopted into stable, loving, safe homes by parents who are prepared and ready to learn what they will need to keep learning to parent them well!
Thanks for reading along. And do us a favor? Share the work of CreatingaFamily.org — there are way too many kids who are waiting way too long!
My experience is that it’s a huge interest in adopting whites amongst the first and second generation african immigrants compared to afro-americans.
So I think it’s gonna be very common in the future, maybe THE most common type of adoption in 20 yrs from now.
I’ve gotten to appreciate this crucial discussion topic that invites different views from people with diverse experiences. I am Brian, a Ugandan youth. I strongly support the adoption by black parents of children of any color, race and background. I believe we shouldn’t discourage the loving people left in this world that’s tainted with hate and racism of all sorts. When has it ever been right to judge the bringing up of a child in need of love from a caring home?
Thanks for reaching out and sharing. We’re with you on bringing kids up in loving homes — and we are committed to preparing and equipping those homes to raise well the children that come to those homes!
Sad. Who cares what the world thinks. You will never please all, and always be subjected to ridicule from all sides despite race. Follow your heart, its usually never wrong. Grab a hold of happiness whenever you can and share love with whomever you please.
I am an Asian male and would never adopt a Black child. I would adopt any other race. I do not need Black people telling me how to raise a child. I do not know or care about black hair and their other issues like skin. I do not believe I should be forced to adopt a handicapped child or black child, this is why I choose not to adopt. I do not want your black guilt. Black people need to take care of their own race and people not pawn them on others.
Well, goodness, it’s a good thing that you have choices if you choose to pursue adoption.
It’s also a good thing that many folks don’t share your sentiments about raising children of other races – it widens the opportunities for the children who are waiting for a loving family to find one. We are about the business of preparing all families for the children they welcome into their homes and we are confident that parents of all races can be well-prepared to handle the needs of any child, regardless of need or race to raise them well and securely.
I hear that, these days it would be like bringing a bomb home. One day its going to blow up in your face.
Please never adopt or have children. We don’t need your bigotry in the world, thanks.
Huh.
Wild that in a country where the majority of the civil rights YOU now enjoy as an Asian male were due to the blood, sweat, & tears of mostly Black people, you blame THEM for the oppression & trauma they were subjected to. Black people never asked to be here. Black people did nothing except be different from white people to be treated as property. Those stereotypes & mindsets that persist to this day, along with systemic injustices that keep Black people from reaching full equity. The fact you think it’s too much to know about Black people’s skin and hair is pitiful. And “Black guilt”? How is YOUR guilt Black people’s fault?! SMDH
Wow this is really sad……A baby or child in need is just that no matter the race and,I am so heart broken these kids are even worth or cost at all!! why in the hell would a white baby be more than any other ?? I am a white woman and i cannot have a baby the very last thing on my mined would be what race is the child.I would love to have a child of any race or age ,to me a child of any race would be a blessing and i would love that baby and learn everything about them so i could bond with them,this is sad…just sad money and babies saying that one is worth more than another is a great sin…GOD help us all!
Hello!
I saw the twitter discussion today with a link to this site. I have a question that might be off topic. Sorry if it is:)
I have 3 daughters where 2 of of them are identical twins. They are now 11 yrs old. I have been thinking over and over again about to give them up for adoption and really focus and put my energy on my younger daughter. Is that possible? How would you recommend me to proceed? Do you think I shall talk with the girls before I meet an adoption agency? And how long is usually such a process?
If that matters I can mention we are caucasians, they are healthy without any issues except laziness in school 🙂 They are very active and easy going.
I really dont want you to think I am evil or a bad mother.
Thanks and merry christmas
Christine
Christine,
We aren’t sure what Twitter thread you are referencing – if you have a link, it would be appreciated.
Considering a placement to “really focus and put your energy on my younger daughter” makes me think that maybe you should consider finding a therapist just for you to work through what makes parenting the three of them together feel impossible to you. And seek family therapy for you all together to discuss and find ways to grow together and even heal whatever rift that may exist in your relationships.
I have to agree with the professionals comment. And no judgement here but what do you think the twins are going to feel? And how are you going to possibly explain that to them? Are you going to tell them you don’t want them so you can focus on the younger one? One more question, when the younger one gets older, how will you explain, or even right now, where her 2 older sisters went? Is the younger one going to worry about being tossed to the side when she gets older? I think counseling for yourself is detrimental because I feel there is a bigger underlying piece of info that is being left out. Because this just isn’t normal behavior. I couldn’t even imagine tossing my oldest daughter aside to focus on my youngest daughter. I have no problem focusing on her with my oldest around. Is there abuse or neglect going on in the home?
I wish your daughters the best of luck because ultimately they are going to be the ones that suffer through your needing to simplify your life. .at your kids expense. But then again they may be better off hopefully finding a home where parents would want to focus their time on them and give them the love they obviously are lacking at home. So yes I think you should find them a loving home. It would probably be a nice change for them. I wish I could take the twins in, being a twin myself. Because that is one thing I don’t have a short supply on…and that is love for kids.. lots. Its unfortunate you don’t feel the same.
Instead of judging you I will instead wish you a very Good Luck!
I am sure you are doing what you think is the best for your daughters. I cant stand reading how others are judging you without knowing your whole story!
I really hope your are already in process with your twins.
Congratulations to hopefully a fantastic decision!
I’m a white girl in Belgium and I was adopted when I was 11 by a woman originally from Uganda. She is kind, funny and always there for me. And its so cool to visit her country. We visit once per year.
Thank you for sharing your story, Catrine. I’ve heard that Uganda is beautiful – what a cool experience to be able to go back often!
if you share your story i can also do that. i was googling for stories about black adopting white so well ok i can share mine. its interesting to read i’m not the only one.
i was adopted 10 yrs ago by a black woman. i am white girl totally pale 100% scotland heritage LOL.
I was stealing like everyday from the super market, mostly food and candy. I was caught many times but i could came back and steal again. so last time i was caught the black woman who is manager said its pointless calling the police so she said she will drive me home. When we got home she followed me in the house to speak with my mother but it turned my mother has been dead for 2 days. i had no idea she was dead i thought she was asleep because when she took drugs she always slept a LOT after. so anyway black lady went totally bananas and took a week off from her job to help me and solve everything with calling and u know stuff that must be done, so that week i lived with her and her daughter and then they wanted me to stay forever and i wanted it too so she adopted me and my 6ft python snake that i had since it was a hatchling. and my cats too. So me and my black sister are really close now and we will soon open a cafe together, when the pandemic is over, we have saved a lot money for our business idea and mommy will help us too. So today i am happy. And we dont care about the skin color. I dunno if we faced much racism, i haven’t noticed it though….
I am so sorry to hear about your mother passing. But I have to say this story brought tears to my eyes because what a beautiful ending, or middle to a horrible beginning! I don’t condone stealing but even with that it was meant to be because if it hadn’t been for the stealing, which sounds horrible to say, then your amazing family may have never been. How blessed you are! Take care and best wishes for the business for the both of you!
As a parent of mixed-race children (biologically my own) I would like to say two things:
1. I am heartily sick of the patronizing “aren’t you all so wonderful” attitude of bleeding heart white liberals whenever they see us together.
2. The statement “I’m color blind” is almost always followed by statements that show an obsession with skin pigmentation. For example “I want to adopt a Black/White/Asian baby.”. It’s kind of obsessively, creepily weird.
Yes, it does sound patronizing and wearying. However, in my experience, lauding you for who you are and how you were crafted isn’t an attitude that comes just from “bleeding heart white liberals.” Rather, I think it’s a response from both sides of the aisle when they don’t understand the beauty of diversity and the many ways that families can be formed.
I disagree…The left leaning individuals tend to be overly animated when seeing a parent of mix race compared to a parent of same race children.
????????????
Black families adopting white children is WONDERFUL.
From the stores I’ve read, all the Black prospective adoptive parents saw was a child in need, as it should always be.
I say everybody should stick to their own race, there is a reason for all the races and we should preserve them, true whites, true blacks, true asian, true hispanic, true everybody, its a pretty mosaic, to me, like all the colors of flowers.
I know you were speaking to “Graeme,” but I am stepping in to say I’m so grateful that your opinion seems to be the minority in the world of adoption and foster care. And in my experience, the world at large. For, in reality, very few of us are “true” anything anymore — and I think we make up a beautiful representation of the greatest, Creator Gardener.
The problem with that is everyone in this country is mixed with the exception of people who recently moved to America.
Hello I am a 44 years old female 1976 I was adopted by a black family my biological mother try to leave me in a bus station bathroom for someone else to find or to die My adoptive brother seen her and said no no no don’t do that bring her home to my mama my mama will take care of her for you and she did I had the best childhood of that any child could ever have but I did get teased up until about six grade I got that I learned how to fight really well lol I couldn’t stand anyone saying anything about my family kids used to say for example they dip me in the snow to make me white one child on the bicycle tried to run my father down when he was walking me from school my parents were born in the early 1900s so they were someone told when they adopted me around 65 I love my childhood I love living on the farm had lots of friends none of my friends judged everyone loves my family I grew up my entire life knowing my biological mother and sister which their lives did not turn out so well they became prostitutes and drug addicts it does not matter what race you are family is family
Wow Genette, thats a lovely story! Thank you for sharing it! Your parents seems like amazing people, im so happy that you got the childhood you deserved! Love from me to you!
//Ellie
That’s great. There are only 2 races on this planet – decent and indecent. People choose the one they want to be.
WOW what a great mother you ended up with i think she was meant to be your mother thank god for her ! a wonderful ending!
WTF?! I believe they didn’t tell you about run-on sentences, punctuation and/or making sense. Oh and that’s great that you had to learn to fight as a child. I guess it could’ve been better if you just had fun. Went to school, learned and played without being threatened. Good for you lol.
And your parents missed teaching you how to be kind to others, or, the old saying: if you can’t say something nice, then keep your mouth closed.
And most likely the bullies making fun of her were both black and white, since I think we can all agree, racism and prejudice can be freely spewed from any race.
Your choice of empty words in your comment are extremely telling of your lack of character.
Transethnic adoption is harmful when the parents do not speak the child’s native language and the child from then on rarely interacts with anyone who looks like him, eats the foods he prefers, or shares the same culture.
I agree, Nellie. Many transracial or transcultural adoptions do carry the added weight of language differences, cultural differences, food differences and more. But there are many ways that parents of a different race than their adopted child can support their child to stay connected and build identity as a person of that race or culture. Yes, it takes some added intention and work but many of us feel it’s absolutely necessary to honor who our kids are and expands us all as better humans, not just for the child. This blog post might be of interest to you, as a starting point: https://creatingafamily.mystagingwebsite.com/adoption-category/adoption-blog/moving-from-racial-awareness-to-racial-identity/
I think you were just jealous.You wish to have a luxury that child will have growing with them nice vacation good school expensive clothes, something you never had growing up.
It is dangerous for black people to adopt white children because people will find it suspicious and call the cops on them.
Certainly, and sadly, yes that has happened. Hopefully, with education, we can raise awareness of the issues for folks to consider both when thinking of adopting and when interacting with transracial adoptive families.
Law enforcement tree is being shaken & a lot of bad apples are fallen out. I would rather be raised in a loving family totally different from my race than to grow up with a biological family living in pure hell.
Thats why its important for more blacks to adopt other races, so if there are enough good hearted parents and it is more obvious, people won’t be so curious.
i saw a white middle-aged couple with a jet black baby. it was an obvious adoption. i felt bad for the baby. being raised by these white things. i wasn’t the only one who felt that way. a little black girl saw it too and sneered. a white baby adopted by black parents is just as bad. i think adoptions should be by race.
Well, how fortunate are we that so many folks don’t feel similarly as you on this topic? We know many beautiful, thriving families who are navigating transracial adoption with grace and intentionality, raising healthy and well-adjusted kids.
Tracy,
How do you remain so calm, polite and generous faced with some of these ignorant comments? Bless you! From the incorrect assumption that all White families are financially better able to provide (private school! Swimming pools!) to the idea that a Black or Brown child needs to live in a particular culture, adults see adoption through simplistic biases. Children need a safe, loving home.
Julia,
That’s very kind of you to say. The gift of writing is the backspace bar and delete button 😉 I also try to remember that we are all here to learn — myself, included. And when I was new, uninformed and unaware, many folks in the Creating a Family were kind and gracious to me in my ignorance.
There are a good many incorrect assumptions folks have about adoption, transracial adoption, and parenting kids of color. BUT they are issues that must be considered carefully and if one does not think that he is capable of parenting a child of color, there is no shame in that here — that self-awareness and honesty is necessary for the best interest of the child. After all, the best interest of the child is why we are here! We happen to believe that folks CAN be capable and that education and preparedness makes a huge difference in that process.
Thanks for reading and following along. And again, for your kind words.
Tracy IS polite, and that’s called freedom of speech. When you respect that speech that bothers you, you honor freedom of speech. Respecting only the opinion that you like, and offending the rest, that’s intimidation and control.
I sadly feel that freedom of speech is less and less these days.
Being able to come here and read all kinds of different opinions being respected, even if they are not politically correct, is refreshing and encouraging.
Thank you Laura. That’s so kind of you to say. I appreciate that you took the time to do so.
I might need to quote you, moving forward. That’s a perfect distinction that you’ve offered.
You are obviously from the indecent race.
I was Adopted my biological parents were meth addicts, when me and my brother were babies we where put in a shed and they got the house to sleep in, Now i am a 18 year
Special needs Bisexual white male, We are not things. I came here to find out if it was strange to adopt a black child. I don’t like people who are racist so can you please stop.
I have participated in a Black protesting and walk six miles, Yes what’s going on now with Police i agree some are corrupted and racist. We are not thing’s we are people just like you. But people like you can’t be convinced otherwise. When i adopt a Kid i will make sure they don’t end up like YOU.
That’s mighty Christian of you!
I’m adopted by black folks. Since 11 months old. I’m a white guy and I wouldn’t ask for a better family. One thing I’m glad about my adoption is I see ppls true colors before most. Easy to keep great ppl in my life and weave all the negative ones out.
So, migsly, in your mind there can be no love and connection for / with a child if they are of a different race? I imagine it is culture that you may have an issue with – each household has their own culture and in many cases cultural similarities fall within a ethnic group… Children are children and as long as they are loved and respected and taught to be a positive human being – the parents’ ethnicities don’t matter to them.
Jean, I understand what you are saying — I think — that kids need love and safety and permanency to grow and thrive. But I think it’s important to say that culture, race, and ethnicity DO matter to many children. Especially to children raised in homes where that culture, race, or ethnicity are different than the child’s. We have some fantastic resources that would give you insight to what matters to transracial adoptees – in their own words – and why. Check out this podcast as an example: Panel of Young Adult Transracial Adoptees.
Thanks for reading and considering!
Thank goodness not everyone is as ignorant as you, thing. The nice comments should not apply to undeserving things.
I found this article very enlightening and informative
I have actually started looking into the foster/adoption process a few years back as a married woman and restarted last year as a soon to be single woman. I actually went through the preference sheets with my now 12 year old son and when we got to the race question he was like I don’t care what color they are it doesn’t matter to me. I love that my teachings to him about loving everyone the same still applies. We live in WV which is prodominently white but the area we live in is a mixture of races I am pretty sure since we are standing up to 3 kids for now 2 girls one boy and the age range infant to 12. We will more than likely have a child or children that isn’t black placed for adoption and it’s nice to read and sort of prepare yourself for what may be in store. It doesn’t change my mind one bit. We are still just as open to all races.
That’s fantastic, that you are examining issues of race and family building with your son. If you are interested in learning more, you might enjoy this radio show: http://ow.ly/eseh30noxDY It’s a panel of transracial young adult adoptees and is so informative and practical. Best to you as you move forward in the foster system.
Love knows no color
I myself am a Black man who married a Caucasian woman. She had three Caucasian children when we meet and I had two children who are also half Caucasian / Black. We since then have had two more children and have also adopted two girls from China….and we are not done yet…just don’t mention that to my wife or we will have ten more children at the front door tomorrow hehe 🙂
But in all light, we I’m sure we will end up adopting domestically in the US or potentially internationally again. It’s where ever we feel God calling us or there is need.
Wow. It sounds like you have a great family and a beautiful attitude about whomever God leads to your door. Am I counting right when I add them all up to 9? (So far?!) If so, hat’s off to you, man. I’ve got six. And that last one was our capstone. She’s daily helping us go out of the “family building” stage of life with a Bang!
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. If you aren’t already a member, we’d love for you to consider joining our online community. It’s always a pleasure to get a dad’s perspective on issues of big families, transracial parenting and adoption! Check us out at http://ow.ly/oi7u30ms0iO
Hope to see you there!
I saw a brief comment regarding Asian adoptees. I’m a single Black woman of Caribbean heritage. I’m an attorney and I would love to adopt a Japanese child. I love the idea of a transracial adoption in particular where the adopted parent is Black. I definitely believe that seeing families like this will help bring in more unity. I love cultures and due to my cultural background, I would raise my adopted child as entrenched in the Japanese culture as much as I can while learning mine (Caribbean/American).
However, I firmly believe and know due to my lifelong experience of being a Black woman that I would meet so much red tape that I would not be able to adopt a Japanese child or child of Asian descent…simply due to my race.
White couples or even single white persons will be the first to be considered.
Have you considered reviewing our Adoption Comparison Charts? We break down for you the varying types of adoption (domestic, foster care and international). We also list the requirements of various countries who are offering adoption programs and the 25 most important factors to consider when choosing a program. We update the lists frequently. You can find that information here: http://ow.ly/rCmC30m9kVe
We also have a very active online support group that is full of very experienced adoptive and foster parents who might help you understand what country or program would be best for you. You can join us here: http://ow.ly/Rbd030m9l2N
It is very possible to adopt as a single woman. I hope you find the path that is right for you. Best wishes as you seek it out.
I’m not sure race is a consideration with Japanese adoption, but being married is. We adopted our son from Japan and single people cannot adopt, and 49/50 is the age limit. They never asked about race, and never said anything when we arrived to pick him up with his African American sister, although we are attention getters when we’re in Tokyo with the White adults, Black, beautiful and very tall preteen and the obviously full Japanese little boy who speaks English. I’m used to being part of a family that draws attention, since my first children were very cute identical twin girls (30 years ago).
The US-Japanese adoption program is closed now, as far as I know, for justified ethical reasons, and I would encourage you to look at the US domestic adoption programs.
We are Canadians and our daughter’s adoption was the most ethical adoption with respect for all parties in the adoption triad. From our experience, and from other people’s stories, our adoption agency in Chicago (Adoption Center of Illinois at the Family Resource Center) is truly a shining star in the adoption world. In the US, the birth parent is the one with the right to choose the adoptive parents, unless he/she decides otherwise.
Our daughter is amazing: Adopted from birth, smart, talented, passionate, kind, compassionate – and both children love each other with such a deep love, it’s a joy to see. We have an open adoption with birth family, and through genealogical research, I’m building more family connections for her.
Please don’t give upon adoption just because you might not be able to adopt from Japan.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and encouragement. It sounds as if you’ve crafted a wonderful family. We so appreciate your story.
My husband and I are African American and in the process of adopting our foster son whom is hispanic. We feel in LOVE with him from the moment we brought him home from the hospital when he was just two weeks. We were told he was hispanic and from contact with maternal birth family understand they identify as mexican american and don’t celebrate mexican culture. We have no information about the paternal side. We are committed to find out what we can in order to honor his culture(whatever it is). Personally, i am interested in connecting with other African American/Blacks that are transracial adoptive parents. I’m glad I found the blog.
We’re so glad you found our blog as well! If you are looking to connect with other families like yours, please consider joining our online support community – we have a lively group of participants who are talking regularly about the issues of transracial parenting. Hope to see you there: http://ow.ly/LrQ530m7SeZ
I am a multiracia (black mestizo) woman with a white husband. We adopted three mestizo children of various hues and one black mestizo child. Our reception has been overwhelmingly positive. People stare when we are out and about at restaurants but mostly out of curiosity. Some even offer to buy us lunch and thank us for welcoming our children into our home and being a blessing. We always reply that they are the blessing to us. Parenting children of various colors, hair textures and phenotypes has its challenges. However they all are exposed and interact with role models who share their culture and phenotypes. As long as theyre healthy and happy I’m ok.
It’s great to hear that you are received well. And so glad to hear that you are giving them exposure to role models for their culture and phenotype. Adoptive parenting across races and cultures sure has a lot of layers, doesn’t it? And it sounds like you are tackling them well. Have you considered joining our online community for connections with other parents who are working on similar issues and challenges? We’d love to have you: http://ow.ly/RrwP30i0jc3
Thanks for reading!
I was seriously considering it. Thank you for the invite. 🙂
Very interesting comments. This has gone on a long time, from 2015 until now.
It doesn’t seem like anyone other than whites and blacks have commented so far. I’d like to offer an Asian American perspective.
Most Asians live in liberal areas where many people think like the moderator of this blog post. However, racism in these areas tend to be less overt, but no less severe and hurtful. In liberal areas, people think they’re so post-race that any instance of discrimination is ignored and dismissed. And discrimination/racism here is often subconscious and innate. Everyone claims they’re not racist here, when they are.
Anti-Asian racism, especially in liberal areas, takes the form of bullying, condescending treatment, refusal to hire/promote, exclusion, etc. Because overt racial overtones and slurs are rarely used here, people don’t think it’s racism. But it is. And without these of overt slurs and overtones, instances of discrimination is impossible to prove.
Asians are stereotyped and stigmatized much more than blacks, especially in liberal areas, where blacks are on equal level as whites. Studies show Asians are bullied more than any other ethnicity – 1/4 of Asians in school are bullied. The bullying, poor treatment, stereotyping, stigmatizing, and exclusion of Asians often lead to lives full of pain and suffering. It’s no surprise that Asian Americans have some of the highest rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, and suicide ideation.
Asians are usually ignored in talks about race. Asians are very under the radar, whether it’s celebrities, politicians, etc. I’m shocked that in my area, considered one of the most progressive in the US, people still hold the most basic stereotypes about Asians – and people know nothing about Asians, don’t want to interact with us, exclude us, etc. And often, stereotypes are so persistent that that people hang on to them even when direct, concrete evidence against them is presented.
I’ve lived an extremely difficult life as an Asian American, and I have very strong reservations about interracial adoption. People who never experience racism and are part of the in-group, accepted and embraced where ever they go, think interracial adoption is great. They have no idea what it’s like, day to day, to live lives full of suffering due to constant, subconscious stigmas and discrimination that affects all areas of our lives.
It’s no surprise that one of the few times I heard of someone who was deeply concerned about raising a baby of a different ethnicity was from a Korean American thinking of adopting a black baby. Only an Asian American who has gone through a life full of subconscious stigmas will show this kind of deep concern for adopting a baby of a different race.
Thank you so much for speaking up on these issues. {I’m speaking here as an AP of two Chinese kiddoes, now.} Your points here are well made and important for us who have the privilege of parenting Asian adoptees to hear. So important for us to listen, “do our homework” and learn how to equip our children to face the stigmas and find their voices. I’m so sorry for the difficult life you’ve lived and the racism that has hurt you so badly. But I’m very grateful you’d take the time to share it.
“Diversity” is just a code word for White genocide.
Let’s just say Bob that I thoroughly disagree.
You are absolutely correct Bob. This is absolutely about thinning out the white population and completely subverting and destroying our culture and heritage.
To “Cake” and “Ignacio Montoya” (who appear by the email/url link to be the same person):
Let me add my disagreement to Dawn’s previous comment to Bob – to all 6 of your pending comments that are saying the same, basic ugly things. (We’re only approving this one for this blanket reply.)
No one is requiring you to form your family via transracial adoption — it’s a choice that you are free to or not to make. That’s the beauty of America – that freedom is precious and what makes us great.
CreatingaFamily.org believes that all children (regardless of their race) deserve loving, informed, and prepared parents (regardless of THEIR race). For those families who choose to build their families via transracial adoption, we exist to give them the education, support, and resources they need to do it well for the best interest of their child and for the strength of their growing family.
If that does not suit your agenda or belief system, you are free to choose not to pursue transracial adoption. Just as you are free to not read posts like this one that so obviously stir up that anger and ugliness in you. We hope that you’d consider sticking around to learn and grow. But we understand if you just cannot.
It seems in USA race plays a big role in adoption but here in Africa its about ability to raise a morally up right child and finace them. Where you have race we have tribes and belive me its easy for us to identify ones tribe by features. But when your abopting you don’t choose
who or what you get. In general when adopting i belive one should be race and gender blind.
Thanks for sharing how adoption is different in your country.
I am hoping to connect with white people raised by a parent(s) of a different race. I am a 42 year old white woman, not fostered or adopted but my white mother married my black (step) father in 1981 when I was six, they had been together since I was 4. We had many family friends that were also multiracial, but I never met another white child like myself, all of the children were mixed, including my little brother. Since my (step) dad’s family lived in our area, we spent every weekend and holiday with them. I was the only white child at our church and I was fortunate to go to schools that were very diverse. Of course we got stares whenever we went out and on a few too many occasions some white person would make a scene thinking I was being kidnapped. Every summer, I went to stay with my biological father’s parents in a very different part of the country and experienced this very strange immersion into all white culture, I thought this was a rare thing that only existed in that part of the country. My mother had a falling out with her family and I didn’t see them after my brother was born. For the most part, my world view was very much this “Sesame Street” Utopia, “post-racial”, my family proves that love is stronger than hate dream. However, as I went out on my own into the world I learned very quickly that my family and the environment I grew up in was what was actually very rare. I find it difficult at times to fit in. I am very aware of my privilege, I hate it, I don’t ever feel comfortable in groups of all white people, (even and especially well-meaning white people) and I feel like an outsider now from the black community that I grew up in. I have never identified as black or even mixed, I know that I am white, but white is usually packaged with growing up isolated from people of color and that isn’t truly who I am. For all that I have been through, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m grateful to have my perspective even if I live alone it for now. I know that compared to black children raised by white parents, my experiences are very different and my white privilege allows me to go in and out of different worlds in a way that they cannot. I would never tell someone not to adopt, foster or be a step parent to a child of a different race, but I would advise them to go beyond intellectual research and seek out people who have experienced being raised in multiracial households. Some things are very different from when my family was formed in 1981 to now, but a lot really hasn’t changed. Racism is something so much bigger than any one person’s experience or opinion of it. My continued hope is Love is so much more powerful.
Thank you for sharing your story. You might find some good connection in our Facebook group. You can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/creatingafamily/ There are many different dynamics of families represented in our group and the support and education is really helpful to many of our members.
I am from a family of JW’s who have been blind to race, my 2 older brothers are twin Puerto Rican’s (1 married a Korean girl/they do a volunteer educational work in the Arabic community) my older sister is African American (she married an Ecuadorian/learning Spanish long before meeting him/ they do the same type of educational work in the Hispanic community down in Texas) my younger sister and her husband in KC Missouri are preparing to go to Hong Kong to do the same volunteer work in China itself. You could say, positively speaking that my family is completely colorblind and that’s the way we like it!????
We have similar stories! I’ll see if I can find you in that FB group.
Unfortunatelly I have a perception which does not please me, specially being white. I have seen white people adopting back kids and using them as a trophy to show “how good” and not prejudiced they are!!! The authorities, well, the authorities…. they believe that a black child being adopted by white is having a social UPGRADE, whereas, on the contrary, a white kid adopted by blacks would be having a social DOWNGRADE. This because racism depends on the local culture! Among rich black Africans, bringing up poor white kids from the slums of South Africa is the same: these black families are seen as generous, upgrading poor white miserable kids. WHAT COUNTS IS LOVE and respect and care and the child is not interested in the colour of your skin or kis skin. It is mean cultures that instigate ratial difference where there is NONE. I am white and I am not pretty AT ALL. Being white does not make me any better — or nicer — than black or yellow or green people. The sense of superiority linked to such a stupid thing as the colour of one’s eyes, or hair, or skin is SOCIAL BLINDNESS to what really counts: respect and friendship.
I don’t know if I would ever adopt a white baby, folks around my community will think of me as that girl who wanted a child with “good hair” and light skin. But if I ever did adopt a white baby, I would also have my own and adopt other races as well, you know, like that rainbow family expirement in the 60’s.
We all can trace our lineage back to Africa so it doesn’t matter how racists white people can be when they can’t change the facts… it’s just too bad they didn’t inherit melanin.
How can people like you breathe without choking on all that hatred and racism? If you are so devoted and stuck on your ties to Africa, then feel free to return there so you don’t have to live among the whites you so openly despise. My heritage is primarily from Slovakia, yet I don’t fixate on where my ancestors came from; giving my children Slovak names, calling myself a Slovak-American, self-segregating myself to associate only among others of Slovak heritage, and showing more loyalty to Slovakia than to America. Also, I have a black friend that immigrated from Jamaica. He identifies as an American, not a Jamaican-American or African-American, but just an American. You do know that Jamaica is not an African country, don’t you? Apparently your racism keeps you as ignorant as you are a hateful bigot.
Randall, with all due respect, as a white man in America you have had the luxury of not “fixating” on where your ancestors came from because you have not faces a steady stream of prejudice and discrimination because of it.
Incorrect… white straight Christian males are the most persecuted group of people in America. We are hit by feminists, lgbtq, social justice warriors, black lives matters, atheists, agnostics, all other religions and cults. We are told we owe reparations, we have white privilege, we are haters, bigots. We’re responsible for pretty much every evil in America including slavery. Well I’m sick of it. I’m very proud of my American white culture and I will not be ashamed of it every single one of my grandparents fart in almost every war in the last 150 years and bled and died for it and most of the US military is made up of white males most adoptions are white most churches are white and most hospitals are made of white volunteers and staff. Oh and by the way I’ve also adopted internationally.
Tom, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I am also white; my relatives also fought in every past war, and I’m also very proud to be an American and proud to stand with Americans of every color and hue. As to your “facts”, in fact, they are not necessarily “facts”. (pun intended).
According to Pew Research the representation of racial and ethnic minorities in the US military reflects their representation in our society. Minorities make up roughly both 40% of the military and the general population.
Also according to Pew Research, blacks and Latinos are more likely than whites to say they believe in God, attend religious services regularly, and pray daily.
I’m not sure what your point is about the percentage of minorities who work in the hospital setting. From what I could find about 35% of nurses are racial or ethnic minorities. I suspect the percentage of doctors is less. Again, not sure what that “proves”–you can’t possibly believe that the fact that there are fewer black doctors means that the black race is less caring or altruistic? It is highly more likely that their lack of representation in the medical ranks reflects educational disparities and a lack of exposure to medical personnel that reflects their race.
You are right that adoptive parents in the US are predominantly white. It is also true that adoption is expensive and the general income level of whites in the US is higher than for minorities. It is also true that most adoption agencies gear their recruitment and advertisements towards whites. Blacks are also more likely to adopt informally rather than going through an adoption legal proceeding.
Again, not sure how any of this is relevant to the blog, but I simply couldn’t let your comment go without providing some balance.
This is not actually true. New discoveries shows that “out of africa” was more based in a social propaganda than in science. Actually, there is an “in to africa”. Please updated your facts.
i´m always happy to learn new things. Could you point me to the new evidence that shows that that “out of africa” was more based in a social propaganda than in science? thanks in advance
Seems obvious to me.
You don’t have to white to be a racist.
A racist can and most likely will affect the social, economic, educational and political condition of a people. So as of today and for last 500 years or more only white people are racists. The rest are prejudice. Bigoted.
Every other race give white people so much credit and power.
I’m studying race in college and your definition is wrong,, you should take a few actual classes to learn something so you can better our society!
That’s foolish. Who do you think sold Africans into slavery? Answer: Other Africans. You know there is still slavery in the world today, right? Yup.
What do you think human trafficking is?
Anyone can be racist. Anyone who thinks they can’t be racist is like the person who thinks they are without sin. It’s obvious that just as anyone has the capacity to steal or be unkind, they have the capacity to be racist too.
It’s human nature. We all must subdue our lower nature. Your manufactured Marxist training saying blacks can’t be racist unless they are in positions of power is silly. Anyone who mistreats someone based on race has more power in that moment than the person they are tormenting. Your false definition is blinding you to the painful truth about humanity and yourself. Don’t build your faith on a leftist definition. Know that you have the potential for good or evil. You need to choose every day in every moment to love and accept people whose skin may be a different color. Just as I do. It’s human nature. You are just as human as I am. Not less.
Yes you do… all the rest of us are just prejudice.
We, as African-Americans should be asking an important question; How can we complain when other races adopt black children when we don’t adopt them. Very shameful and hypocritical.
Well whites DESTROYED the black family so of course they come in and try to be a Savior. They peddle drugs guns give us broken communities no money From our ancestors work so yeah we as Blacks have no family anymore
We debated whether to approve your comment, as with many others in this thread. While we strenuously disagree with your assertions, we also (sadly) recognize that this line of thinking is one that is held by many, in some form or another.
Oh please. Most not all black slaves were well cared for. Slavery is an evil thing. Still exists today. More than it did in the 1800s. Let’s free today’s slaves. Let’s move on to now. Today’s slaves are not well cared for. And even the white Wives of rich and poor back in those days were “owned” by their husbands forced to be sexual. We need to help all enslaved people today. All this talk about hate and racism, bigotry just stirs the pot and keeps it alive and well.
I can’t understand from where you might be gleaning your information to say that “most not all black slaves were well cared for….” That flies in the face of most of the well-documented historical records we’ve got from that era. But yes, slavery still exists today and should be of grave concern to us all. This train of thought is very hurtful and offensive to many and the point has moved far from the intent of the post.
Sadly most have high school history. So many don’t study U.S. history in college. It’s sad
I don’t know about that. Most AAs informily adopt kids from within and out of their family all.the time. I grew up seeing this all the time. Having a mom who worked for CPS I learned a lot. A lot had to do with racism. Making it hard for black families to adopt. Not just black but Latinos as well
.
Sorry people I am not racist but the fight is real I love all color but do all color love me no they don’t we fight with this racial society and it dont take a blind man to see that it is real we are considered the worst people on earth let them tell it until individual come their
own truth my they will understand
Just the fact that you call it a fight tells me you most likely are racist. There are hate/racism on both side of the aisle. But I can guarantee you There is more hate and racism on the black aisle. This is from my experience living as an Asian man in North Carolina, California and now Texas… and yes I’ve lived and travel across the globe and there is always going to be racism but nothing compared to the African Americans.
Thanks for telling it as it is. I’m white, was raised in schools telling me that racism was a white against black thing – until I actually lived in a community with blacks. Then I saw the opposite – not that there aren’t racist whites, but black racists are politically correct and you mustn’t call them racist.
Agreed… I thought we were making real progress with race relations in America, but apparently it has become “PC” to demonize heterosexual, white males in America, more-so in the last 8 years. MLK’s dream of judging people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin has pretty much been completely lost; as progressives see EVERYTHING solely based on one’s color rather than on merit. All people should be judged equally, and be provided the same opportunities to either fail or succeed solely based on their decisions and actions.
How dare you speak of Dr. King or mention any of his speeches! Where’s Dr. King, in his grave. How? He was placed there by a sick white man’s bullet and a white racist society. A man who advocated nonviolence died in a most violent manner. YOU people have NEVER DONE RIGHT — even to this day. You have even become worse bc now YOU just LIE and DENY TRUTH.
It’s apparent that facts and true history have no bearings on the SICK RHETORIC YOU ESPOUSED on this blog! Falsely accusing Blacks for the GUILT you bear for all the hate and evil acts of your ancestors is no remedy bc you will never convince Blacks that we are the more racist. Funny, how all the slavery, discrimination and IRRATIONAL hate and prejudice have had far worse affect on you than on us, psychologically!
Wake up people america is not black peoples home we are to flee babylon we have been lied to and tricked you dont have rights in this country. Time to pack before the race war its coming up then martial law enforcement. Fema camp an definitely you will not see any black people adopting white babies or white people adopting black babies were all going into camps
It’s not the white people’s home either. It was stolen from the Native people.
Yep, and the natives we’re in constant battle with one another. People are people. This wheel could turn all year.
I am a young lady in her early 30s. I will like to adopt a white baby girl… I have always cherished them. How do I go about it?
You are so young why do you cherish the idea of adopting a white baby oppose to adopting a black baby do you not read the statistics of how many black children in foster homes need a family but you cherish one kind do you hear how you sound good luck!!!
She probably feels as an African-American person wanting to adopt a Caucasian baby the same as Caucasian families fall in love with adopting an African American baby… what’s it matter. There are all sorts of children in the system in foster care and growing so who cares if she wants to adopt a caucasian instead of another choice.. what’s it to you… you all sound just as racial as most everyone else so stop blaming other races. What you all do and see yourselves as TODAY is what is important. Get over it already
Do you have a problem with white babies? No need to answer, as we already know the answer. You don’t see the public freaking out when people seek to adopt a black child, yet people like you raise the alarm when someone seeks to adopt a white child. I suppose you have no reservations or objections when black citizens seek out black-specific organizations, neighborhoods, events, businesses, or awards/recognition, while you would complain and yell racism if white citizens would seek out white-specific organizations, neighborhoods, events, businesses or awards/recognition. Then again, I would challenge you to even find or identify any of those explicitly labeled as such (white). This country will NEVER unify across racial boundaries while any race-specific entities are allowed, promoted, or condoned.
You’re so racist it’s rediculous. When blacks are racist it doesn’t have any effect on the other persons life. When white people are racist it can effect the other persons freedom, job, and livelyhood. [edited to remove personal attack] Anybody trying to adopt any child is a saint period. These children, no matter the color need help, from whoever is willing to provide them with it
Skin color does not matter, matters what is underneath.
Most important is how the child is raised, but not what color is his parents’ skin.
Nicole Ritchie is not White, she is of Afro Creole decent so this article does not pertain to her situation.
actually mulatto/mestizo … idiot
and it states what she is anyways in the article or you missed that fine print
Nicole Richie (of Hispanic/Creole ethnicity aka mestizo/mulatto ) moved in with Lionel and Brenda Richie at age 3 and was adopted at age 9.
Not Afro creole but Hispanic creole which is basically white creole. [edited to remove personal attacks]
I am African American and would like to adopt outside my race besides adopting within my race.
I wish you good luck!
My name is Ray and I am a proud father of a white adopted daughter. Even though I didn’t look to adopt her she was a human being that needed help because she was being neglected both her parents. I always wanted another daughter and when my wife could no longer bare any more children, God bought a gift to my household without me even looking for it. Her presence light up a room but most importantly my heart so thankful I get to be in her life.
That was sweet we need more people like you.
Was it more difficult to adopt a white child than black? Honestly, I feel extremely uncomfortable when I see so many white families with black children as a black woman. I want to know why they chose a black child. Because it’s obvious that that is more common than them adopting their own. I want to know if it’s white guilt I want to know if it’s because they are more affordable during the adoption process, I want to know if they have an agenda. It also makes me feel as a black woman, that we are not fit to raise their own children because so many of them arson adopted by white women even though it may not be statistically true it makes me feel that way. I think it would be a wonderful idea if we all switched races since white families are adopted so many black children, maybe we should in turn adopt white children and maybe the world would progress a little better as the children got older. With both sides knowing how it is to grow up with one another it could probably help erase racism and Prejudice in this country
White people adopt black children for the same reason they adopt any child. When DHS calls to place a child with a foster family, they do not tell you what race the child is. They bring the child & you fall in love! Race does not matter.
There are more adoptable black kids. Poverty makes it more likely that parents won’t be able to care for their children, and their children are likely to wind up being put up for adoption. And black people are more likely than white people to be poor. Conversely, adoptive parents are usually upper middle class or richer, and those people are disproportionately white. That’s why there are so many white people adopting black children.
Actually, there are more poor whites than there are poor blacks in America. The 2013 Census reports that there are 18.9 million poor whites in America, while there are 11 million poor blacks in the same year. With the adoption costs of black children significantly lower than the cost to adopt a white child, there is a clear disadvantage or discrimination against white children needing adoption. More disgustingly skewed “equality” in America.
As someone who adopted a black child, I will answer your question! We adopt black infants for a couple of reasons. Number one, there is a great need for it! There are many infants of color, whether it’s a black or mixed raced child needing a home. The majority of people looking for an infant are white! We can either wait a million years for a white infant or be racially open and accept any child regardless of race. My spouse and I have a very diverse family with several races through marriages etc. So we told our agency we were open to any race. But the BIGGEST reason we adopted a black infant was the birth Mom CHOSE US!!!! Period! The black birth mother of our child wanted US, a white couple, to parent her child. So stop blaming white people and acting like we are setting out to ruin the black race or doing it for some kind of show! We wanted a baby and took the first one who’s birth parents chose us. We didn’t care about race! God bless!
Brook, loved your story. Being a parent especially when your body says you can’t is a blessing regardless of race and gender.
I am a white man, my wife and I are going through the adoption process right now, to be honest it is hard to adopt any children, we are close to adopting a 7 year old African American child……It honestly does not matter to us what color skin our child is….Its cost is the same in USA whether white or black….We will raise our child to be proud of who she is and her nationality….I am adopted my self there are so many kids out there that need good homes and good parents what does skin color really matter? My wife and I are unable to sustain a pregnancy we will be just thankful to have a child to love finally after loosing two!!!
America needs more people/parents like you and your wife. You have a wonderful family from your description; just a loving American family that happens to have mixed ethnicity, rather than a family of blacks and whites that just happen to be Americans.
My husband and I also adopted a white male. We started foster care to be a blessing to children in need of a home after we had our bio daughters and the journey has been interestingly beautiful. We have a number of kids to come through our home but our oldest son’s birth mother decided she wasn’t going to try anymore so we gladly adopted him (he is a black male) and we put our home on hold while we began to get him acclimated but our social worker called and asked if we could please take back a child who we previously had because he was in need of a home. We happily received him back into our home and after a few months of him being back, we were asked to adopt him! We get asked ignorant questions and hard stares but the love that is displayed in our home is absolutely beautiful. We’ve thrown “adopted” out the window, those are my boys and my baby could care less about the color of my skin when gets grabs my face and gives me the biggest kiss and smile that can turn any bad day upside down. So yes, regardless of how the world views it, I am the proudest black mom of the sweet white boy and nothing can change that. God has tremendously blessed us and I am forever grateful.
I believe that society which is obviously controlled by the Caucasian cultural could not stand by and let their babies by race be influence,guided,nurtered and taught by the African cultural aspects of a adopting parent.It will anger and jeopardise their superior complex that their will and way of life should be the one that provides the influences,guidance and does the nurturing just as the ideas they have as slave masters thinking blacks was savages and they are the reformers as ordained by GOD in the BIBLE.
You sir are an idiot. White people don’t go around looking to do blacks wrong, but their attitude, appearance, or actions can warrant it.
However, Blacks teaching their kids everyday that whites hate them or trying to hold them back all the time breeds racism. Stop preaching about food stamps and welfare as a way of life and try teaching them that education and following simple rules will get them opportunities they want. Not stealing or beating up people because they are white or do not agree with you. there are many affluent blacks in this country that would agree it isn’t about how much money a family has its about the values they teach and I personally see blacks taught that being a thug is cool and dis obeying society is cool…NO, that will only get you jail or dead. STOP TEACHING THAT SHIT, and society will be more accepting. Until then, its your life and you are free to do as you please but when it endangers another person (black or white) don’t be surprised when they defend themselves. Change starts at home, and from what I have seen most blacks feed of the slave narrative, that shit ended nearly 150 years ago, get over it and make something of yourselves.
Dear Pissed, I debated over whether to approve your comment because of the racial overtones (or blatant racism), but your opinion is one help by others and worth the rest of us hearing and knowing about.
Seriously?!?! I did not see you give markmainor the same type or pushback, when mark made some seriously racist and hateful statements about whites. I think you should look up bias in the dictionary, as you have some SERIOUS bias.
Hey pissed white guy, you should say get over what you haven’t experienced. Yes, slavery is over(mostly) but some of us experience things you couldn’t imagine. We don’t teach food stamps and welfare and white people are on welfare as well. Hey, its better to be MR. PISSED OFF, THAN TO BE MR. PISSED ON.
Guess what, you should never comment on things you have not experienced as well. Try getting over yourself and this imagined sole claim on victimization and discrimination. EVERY race in the US goes through different things. So many in this country are utterly fixated on the past when they should be focusing on the present and the future. The same goes for fixation with color – so much for judging people on the content of their character.
Do you have any personal relationships with any black people? Not including ones you work with? I only ask because when you say white people it sounds encompassing as if Blacks are not people as well. It may be just an equally sensitivity with black readers. If someone read “the whites” would it sound racist?
[I STRONGLY disagree!!!] Edited by admin to remove profanity (entire post had to be removed, but we tried to keep the gist of commenters feelings)
Wow, I’m a black America and i was never told that welfare was the way to go and I was never on food stamps. What black family or people told you that? That’s your own racism that allows you to feel that all black people teach their kids that. That’s false,.
Have a little racial hate in your blood? I am not sure how the highest % of poor people in America are white if this country is controlled by whites as you say, or how we had a black president as the leader of the country for the last 8 years. Try being an American citizen and being part of American culture. If you are so against American culture, or just place the priority of your race so much higher than your citizenship, then you should probably return to a country in Africa, since you place such importance on African culture. What did Africa do for you? If it was such a powerful benefit, then why do you not live there? If I moved to an African country and whined endlessly that there was not enough American culture being celebrated there, then it would be utterly foolish of me to remain in Africa. Of course, if I was born in Africa, I would not be ignorant enough to swear such love and loyalty to American culture since I never lived in the US.
I’m a black male physician, and I and my Hispanic spouse adopted an apparently white baby girl at 2 months of age through domestic adoption. She is actually mixed (3/4 Caucasian, 1/4 African-American), but for all intents and purposes, she is white. Pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair and fine facial features. I used to feel very self-conscious when going out with her in public, but now that she is 3 years old, I have no clue if people are watching us because I just go about my business. Funnily enough, I have never received any untoward treatment or been asked any insulting questions when I am out with her. I’ve also scoured the internet, looking for other parents in our position, but have failed to find much. I’d be happy to get in contact with any other black parents of white kids.
Fadzi, I’ve heard from others who would also like more info on this type of transracial adoption.
I am a AA who adopted a Caucasian blonde hair blues eyes baby boy. My husband is Italian with an olive complexion, I on the other hand have a dark skin tone. I get the looks and stares but I make sure I catch eye contact with the person staring and I smile. My son is just that my son, so watch out world because we are raising him to be an amazing individual.
Beautiful, God Bless.
I am black, my youngest son, who is white, was placed with me as a foster child at 4 days old. I had more than one caseworker ask how i got him (as though a mistake or grave injustice had occurred), and when his case moved to adoption, one social worker actively looked for alternative placement. The reason more non-black children aren’t adopted by black parents is at least in part due to bias in the system–the same bias that has more non-white children in the system in the first place. In my time as a foster parent, and in my experience as a physician, I have seen that it takes a great deal less for a non-white child to be detained in the first place. I’d love to see this issue addressed. Meanwhile, I’m out of the system and raising my son.
Good points all Radmama. Thanks.
Wonderful points…. I decided to Google and research all of these things because being a manager at a gourmet Market I saw so many white women with black children straight from Africa and it made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to research and Define my feelings and Define my education towards the subject I I heard recently that it is harder to take white children and families that it doesn’t happen as easy. I also heard that black African children are the most affordable children to adopt
Wonderful points…. I decided to Google and research all of these things because being a manager at a gourmet Market I saw so many white women with black children straight from Africa and it made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to research and Define my feelings and Define my education towards the subject. I I heard recently that it is harder to take white children and families that it doesn’t happen as easy. I also heard that black African children are the most easiest to adopt
I find the whole idea of blacks adopting white children disgusting. White children need to be adopted by their own race and culture. There are more black kids to adopt and they need for black parents to adopt them. White kids deserve better than ghetto culture.
Terri, I’ve debated with myself long and hard about whether to “approve” your comment because of it’s clear racist content. I finally decided to allow it to post because to do otherwise would be to try to pretend that these type of beliefs don’t still exist. This comment is a clear example that we don’t live in a “post-racial” society.
I would just like to say in defense to the rest of humanity people like Mr Terri are the small minority and us we the people who one day dream of a coexisting peaceful society or the majority
Amen Joann!
Unfortunately, the first time I realized I was a bit more racist than I originally believed was the time I saw a very dark skinned black man with his white daughter. I immediately looked for the mother and wondered why the man had the girl.
It took me aback once I realized how foolish I had been. I never considered myself as racist before.
I think this is an important issue because it also brings up the idea that, as a white woman, I would be willing to adopt a child from a different race. However, when clearly analyzing my feelings toward that notion, I realize there is a hint of a feeling that I would be some how be “rescuing” the child of another ethnicity more so than with the adoption of a white child.
Though Terri’s comment is truly disturbing, I find it just as disturbing to realize that there are probably far more people like myself who don’t even realize that their ideas of what is acceptable is tainted by racism.
It is sad that someone as truly pure hearted and devoted as a man who is an adoptive father would suffer even inward censure from another due to his willingness to adopt a child of another race, despite it not being some sort of sick boon to his self-esteem as it could potentially be in the reverse.
In re-reading that comment, I didn’t mean I would be rescuing the child from being a black child. I meant I would feel as if I were recuing a child of that ethnicity from a bad life more so than I would feel as if I were rescuing a white child from a bad life, which is completely ridiculous.
Thank you for being so honest and real. It’s refreshing to hear the truth. People tend to forget who use to tend to master’s children during slavery. We’ve always been a nurturing people. Even after slavery people still allowed the to take care of their children. People who live in the hood don’t typically adopt children of any race, unless it’s a family member. Because 9 times out of 10 they can’t afford to.
How bad would you have felt if you didnt give it a thought and she WAS kidnapped?? DO NOT persecute yourself over your thoughts, its your actions that count ….did you yell racist remarks? did you call the cops?? did you go up and question him directly as to why he had this child?? I doubt it; so there is nothing to beat yourself up over, its called being concerned for a child. PERIOD! When that child turns to them without fear there is generally no longer a need to worry. Sick of the racial divide and sadly its mostly the “African Americans” that push the divide.
Terri you are sick for saying such disgusting things. Hopefully you’re able to locate your heart sometime soon.
When we die are we black and white in spirit? I think not but Terri it sounds like your soul is very dark. You have a terrible heart and a closed mind. You make white people look bad, and Im embarrassed for you. I think being color blind is a beautiful thing. I might be a little racist as a whole, but not towards the black community. Black people stand arm in arm with white Americans, and we’ve come a long ways together. Black lives matter! (and so do their white babies!)
I am 30 yrs old female black and Hispanic and a product of an interracial adoption. My italian adoptive parents fostered 30 kids black and white and Hispanic and Asian etc..before they adopted my brother who is white and disabled and myself. I am so proud of my family. My biological family when I met them thought I was brainwashed or told horrible things about them but that was not the case. I was told the truth and never got an inkling of racism in any direction from my forever family. Now raising my daughter with a Hispanic man I am even more proud that my daughter gets to be with my family of all colors shapes and sizes. It should all be as simple as getting a child for the love of a child and not favoring or requesting one race or the other. If a child is in need of a family and you can give of your whole heart adopt them! Or foster to see how it feels first.
Well I’m sorry you feel that way Esau our black children don’t need to be in your white family house as well. We are the chosen people of the Most High. And the bible tells us not to deal with your people because Esau is the people the Most High hate. For whites to have a black child in there house is another form of modern day slavery. Everyone knows that whites are against the twelve tribes of Isreal which the people of color are. Yashaya which your people say that he is white but the KJV says he is black. Your people say that yall Jesus is a white man which is not true. You Esau will see the true Messiah in a minute when he come out of the skies with wooly white hair and you will want to serve the true children of Isreal!!!!!!!!!! And the time is about to be over for whites to be done ruleing over the chosen children of the most high says our God .Blessing to the twelve tribes of Isreal
Um I am sorry but I don’t see how having black children in a white home is modern slavery? I think there is something wrong in that head of yours…..And clearly you skipped the part in the bible that stated love the neighbor as you love the self…..Hmmmmm hate your self alot huh?
Terri, I do not understand why you feel that way?
Blacks, Asians, Whites and Hispanics should be able to adopt white, black asian hispanic children if they want to adopt outside their race
Personally I am planning on adopting transracially, It has been my dream of having a multicultural family, I sure wouldn’t want you around my kids.
Your comment is offensive and pure hatred
I find you disgusting and you should be very disappointed in your parents
Our close friends are black and their first (and last!) foster placement was with a set of 8 year old twin girls who were pale blonde haired and crystal blue eyed. The parental rights for the girls were relinquished later on and even though our friends had had no plans to adopt, they had fallen in love with these little girls and could not let them go, and the girls had finally learned to trust and they didn’t want to lose that progress. They were the ones who inspired my (white) husband and I to adopt from foster care.
Of course, we live in a middle class area where people assume their mom is their nanny.
We are putting together a Docu-Series about Transracial Adoptions and I would love to speak with this family. Twin girls! That’s amazing! Let’s show the world that love is color blind!!! Thanks In Advance!
We don’t advertise for TV shows. We are approached often with the request to do this. I will however approve this comment, so that anyone who reads this can contact you themselves if they are interested.
You made some great observations. Many that I would have made as well. Unfortunately black families aren’t as ‘post racial’ as they sometimes ask others to be.
Georgette, you are mistaken. Blacks don’t generally ask others to be “post racial.” On the contrary, we want people to remember that race still matters, and we won’t accept inferior or more violent treatment because of our race. There is no such thing as post racial, and those that insist there is, or that we have achieved it are just engaging in a dangerous form of denial.
I am a Black adoptive parent and I would add to the list the prohibitive cost of private and international adoption, wanting to parent a child that looks like me, and the decreasing likelihood of a Black child being adopted the older they get.
Michele
Thanks Michele!
What are you thanking her for? For saying “wanting to parent a child that looks like me”? Is that racist? I don’t think so. Do you?
I’m sure there is also the issue of white expectant mothers preferring white adoptive parents over black adoptive parents.
I’m sure there is bias in that white birthmothers may be less likely to choose black adoptive families if whites are available
Nora, you may be right if they are adopting an infant through birth mother relinquishment.
My husband is black, I am white. We have adopted 2 white sons. I have yet to meet another family with a black parent and white children. We live in a fairly diverse area so we don’t really experience too many looks or comments. However, the other day when my husband dropped our boys off at camp, the teacher actually asked my husband if he was the nanny. smh. I think it is okay to wonder about the relationship, but to assume that my husband is the hired help is not. Her question could have been, “what is your relationship to the kids?” would have been way better.
Cherlyn, or even to ask “Are these your kids?” if she was trying to figure out the relationship.
I am an African American woman who has adopted transracially four times…two white children, Asian and Latino.