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  • Black Families Adopting White Children

    Dawn Davenport

    103

    How many black families are adopting white children?

    We have become accustomed to seeing white parents with black and brown kids. We see them in People Magazine and standing in front of us in the grocery store line. Far more unusual, however, are black families adopting white kids. Why?

    How Many Black Parents Adopt White Kids?

    I posted a blog on this topic a couple of years ago and several people have asked me how common it is. Statistics on African-American parents adopting Caucasian babies or children are surprisingly hard to come by. I’ve read that 8%* of white kids in foster care are adopted by black or interracial families and 2% of adoptions in general were of black parents adopting white kids.

    Caucasian families adopting black or brown kids is far more common-approximately 40% of all adoptions in the US are now interracial. Transracial adoptions (white parents/black or brown adoptee) vary by type of adoption.

    • 21% of domestic infant adoptions are transracial (although I believe this figure to be rising)
    • 28% of foster care adoptions are transracial
    • 84% of international adoptions are transracial

    Most Often in Foster Care Adoption

    I was unable to find good statistical evidence for this, but most often in cases that I’ve heard or read about with African-American parents adopting a white child, the child started out as the foster child of the black family or had some prior relationship with the family and was later adopted. In other words, situations where the circumstance presented itself vs. a situation where the black parents intentionally sought out a white child. As one social worker put it: black parents seldom ask for white children in general, but usually accept them in the particular.”

    Black family adopts white infant

    Taylor was 1 week old and in an unstable placement elsewhere when she came to Elaine Russell’s home day-care center. Two weeks later, Taylor moved in. “She was so precious and in need of a permanent home,” Russell said. “I think God put her into my hands.”

    Of course, there are exceptions, such as the adoption of a Hispanic newborn by Dallas Cowboys linebacker DeMarcus Ware and his wife, Taniqua. See picture at top of blog.

    Nosy Stares

    Interracial adoptive families get stares, regardless if it’s black parents adopting white kids or white parents adopting black kids.

    “I get looks wherever I go,” “People go, Is he yours?’ I hate that question. What difference does it make?”~ Kim Stokes, black mom to a white child.

    “I’ve never felt more self-consciously black than while holding our little white girl’s hand in public.” ~  Mark Riding, a black dad to a white daughter

    Nicole Richie transracial adoption

    Nicole Richie (of Hispanic/Creole ethnicity) moved in with Lionel and Brenda Richie at age 3 and was adopted at age 9.

    Why Aren’t More Black Families Adopting White/Hispanic Kids?

    Some reasons that have been suggested for fewer blacks adopting white babies/children include:

    • There are fewer blacks families adopting in general.
    • More blacks adopt or informally obtain guardianship of children in the extended family.
    • There is a longer wait to adopt a white baby or child.
    • Depending on the agency, it may cost more to adopt a white baby.
    • Proportionately, there are more African-American children in foster care in need of families.
    • Not wanting the hassle/risk of being thought of as the nanny or kidnapper of the child.
    • Not wanting to exposure the child to prejudice and racism that black families face.
    • Hostility/questions from other blacks as to why they didn’t adopt a black child.

    Do you know a black family that adopted a white child/baby? Why doesn’t this happen more often?

    *I was unable to find a primary source for this statistic. If anyone finds it, please let me know.

    Image credit:
    Demarcus Ware and daughter: Bryaan Bazaar
    E
    laine Russell and daughter: Seattle Times
    Nicole, Lionel, and Brenda Richie: Old School Music

    12/08/2015 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Blog | 103 Comments


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    103 Responses to Black Families Adopting White Children

    1. K. says:

      Very interesting comments. This has gone on a long time, from 2015 until now.

      It doesn’t seem like anyone other than whites and blacks have commented so far. I’d like to offer an Asian American perspective.

      Most Asians live in liberal areas where many people think like the moderator of this blog post. However, racism in these areas tend to be less overt, but no less severe and hurtful. In liberal areas, people think they’re so post-race that any instance of discrimination is ignored and dismissed. And discrimination/racism here is often subconscious and innate. Everyone claims they’re not racist here, when they are.

      Anti-Asian racism, especially in liberal areas, takes the form of bullying, condescending treatment, refusal to hire/promote, exclusion, etc. Because overt racial overtones and slurs are rarely used here, people don’t think it’s racism. But it is. And without these of overt slurs and overtones, instances of discrimination is impossible to prove.

      Asians are stereotyped and stigmatized much more than blacks, especially in liberal areas, where blacks are on equal level as whites. Studies show Asians are bullied more than any other ethnicity – 1/4 of Asians in school are bullied. The bullying, poor treatment, stereotyping, stigmatizing, and exclusion of Asians often lead to lives full of pain and suffering. It’s no surprise that Asian Americans have some of the highest rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, and suicide ideation.

      Asians are usually ignored in talks about race. Asians are very under the radar, whether it’s celebrities, politicians, etc. I’m shocked that in my area, considered one of the most progressive in the US, people still hold the most basic stereotypes about Asians – and people know nothing about Asians, don’t want to interact with us, exclude us, etc. And often, stereotypes are so persistent that that people hang on to them even when direct, concrete evidence against them is presented.

      I’ve lived an extremely difficult life as an Asian American, and I have very strong reservations about interracial adoption. People who never experience racism and are part of the in-group, accepted and embraced where ever they go, think interracial adoption is great. They have no idea what it’s like, day to day, to live lives full of suffering due to constant, subconscious stigmas and discrimination that affects all areas of our lives.

      It’s no surprise that one of the few times I heard of someone who was deeply concerned about raising a baby of a different ethnicity was from a Korean American thinking of adopting a black baby. Only an Asian American who has gone through a life full of subconscious stigmas will show this kind of deep concern for adopting a baby of a different race.

      • Tracy Whitney Tracy Whitney says:

        Thank you so much for speaking up on these issues. {I’m speaking here as an AP of two Chinese kiddoes, now.} Your points here are well made and important for us who have the privilege of parenting Asian adoptees to hear. So important for us to listen, “do our homework” and learn how to equip our children to face the stigmas and find their voices. I’m so sorry for the difficult life you’ve lived and the racism that has hurt you so badly. But I’m very grateful you’d take the time to share it.

    2. Bob says:

      “Diversity” is just a code word for White genocide.

    3. najoja says:

      It seems in USA race plays a big role in adoption but here in Africa its about ability to raise a morally up right child and finace them. Where you have race we have tribes and belive me its easy for us to identify ones tribe by features. But when your abopting you don’t choose
      who or what you get. In general when adopting i belive one should be race and gender blind.

    4. Pingback: 25 Helpful Resources for Transracial Adoptive Families

    5. GiGi Tyson says:

      I am hoping to connect with white people raised by a parent(s) of a different race. I am a 42 year old white woman, not fostered or adopted but my white mother married my black (step) father in 1981 when I was six, they had been together since I was 4. We had many family friends that were also multiracial, but I never met another white child like myself, all of the children were mixed, including my little brother. Since my (step) dad’s family lived in our area, we spent every weekend and holiday with them. I was the only white child at our church and I was fortunate to go to schools that were very diverse. Of course we got stares whenever we went out and on a few too many occasions some white person would make a scene thinking I was being kidnapped. Every summer, I went to stay with my biological father’s parents in a very different part of the country and experienced this very strange immersion into all white culture, I thought this was a rare thing that only existed in that part of the country. My mother had a falling out with her family and I didn’t see them after my brother was born. For the most part, my world view was very much this “Sesame Street” Utopia, “post-racial”, my family proves that love is stronger than hate dream. However, as I went out on my own into the world I learned very quickly that my family and the environment I grew up in was what was actually very rare. I find it difficult at times to fit in. I am very aware of my privilege, I hate it, I don’t ever feel comfortable in groups of all white people, (even and especially well-meaning white people) and I feel like an outsider now from the black community that I grew up in. I have never identified as black or even mixed, I know that I am white, but white is usually packaged with growing up isolated from people of color and that isn’t truly who I am. For all that I have been through, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m grateful to have my perspective even if I live alone it for now. I know that compared to black children raised by white parents, my experiences are very different and my white privilege allows me to go in and out of different worlds in a way that they cannot. I would never tell someone not to adopt, foster or be a step parent to a child of a different race, but I would advise them to go beyond intellectual research and seek out people who have experienced being raised in multiracial households. Some things are very different from when my family was formed in 1981 to now, but a lot really hasn’t changed. Racism is something so much bigger than any one person’s experience or opinion of it. My continued hope is Love is so much more powerful.

    6. marlene suano says:

      Unfortunatelly I have a perception which does not please me, specially being white. I have seen white people adopting back kids and using them as a trophy to show “how good” and not prejudiced they are!!! The authorities, well, the authorities…. they believe that a black child being adopted by white is having a social UPGRADE, whereas, on the contrary, a white kid adopted by blacks would be having a social DOWNGRADE. This because racism depends on the local culture! Among rich black Africans, bringing up poor white kids from the slums of South Africa is the same: these black families are seen as generous, upgrading poor white miserable kids. WHAT COUNTS IS LOVE and respect and care and the child is not interested in the colour of your skin or kis skin. It is mean cultures that instigate ratial difference where there is NONE. I am white and I am not pretty AT ALL. Being white does not make me any better — or nicer — than black or yellow or green people. The sense of superiority linked to such a stupid thing as the colour of one’s eyes, or hair, or skin is SOCIAL BLINDNESS to what really counts: respect and friendship.

    7. AJ says:

      I don’t know if I would ever adopt a white baby, folks around my community will think of me as that girl who wanted a child with “good hair” and light skin. But if I ever did adopt a white baby, I would also have my own and adopt other races as well, you know, like that rainbow family expirement in the 60’s.

    8. Ciara says:

      We all can trace our lineage back to Africa so it doesn’t matter how racists white people can be when they can’t change the facts… it’s just too bad they didn’t inherit melanin.

      • Randall American says:

        How can people like you breathe without choking on all that hatred and racism? If you are so devoted and stuck on your ties to Africa, then feel free to return there so you don’t have to live among the whites you so openly despise. My heritage is primarily from Slovakia, yet I don’t fixate on where my ancestors came from; giving my children Slovak names, calling myself a Slovak-American, self-segregating myself to associate only among others of Slovak heritage, and showing more loyalty to Slovakia than to America. Also, I have a black friend that immigrated from Jamaica. He identifies as an American, not a Jamaican-American or African-American, but just an American. You do know that Jamaica is not an African country, don’t you? Apparently your racism keeps you as ignorant as you are a hateful bigot.

        • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

          Randall, with all due respect, as a white man in America you have had the luxury of not “fixating” on where your ancestors came from because you have not faces a steady stream of prejudice and discrimination because of it.

      • Wes says:

        This is not actually true. New discoveries shows that “out of africa” was more based in a social propaganda than in science. Actually, there is an “in to africa”. Please updated your facts.

        • Tedd says:

          i´m always happy to learn new things. Could you point me to the new evidence that shows that that “out of africa” was more based in a social propaganda than in science? thanks in advance

    9. Tom Tucker says:

      Seems obvious to me.
      You don’t have to white to be a racist.

      • ALL RIGHTS RESERVED DANIAL LOPEZ says:

        A racist can and most likely will affect the social, economic, educational and political condition of a people. So as of today and for last 500 years or more only white people are racists. The rest are prejudice. Bigoted.

      • Doris Turner says:

        Yes you do… all the rest of us are just prejudice.

    10. Van Free says:

      We, as African-Americans should be asking an important question; How can we complain when other races adopt black children when we don’t adopt them. Very shameful and hypocritical.

      • Amber says:

        Well whites DESTROYED the black family so of course they come in and try to be a Savior. They peddle drugs guns give us broken communities no money From our ancestors work so yeah we as Blacks have no family anymore

        • Tracy Whitney Tracy Whitney says:

          We debated whether to approve your comment, as with many others in this thread. While we strenuously disagree with your assertions, we also (sadly) recognize that this line of thinking is one that is held by many, in some form or another.

        • Sharon Thomas says:

          Oh please. Most not all black slaves were well cared for. Slavery is an evil thing. Still exists today. More than it did in the 1800s. Let’s free today’s slaves. Let’s move on to now. Today’s slaves are not well cared for. And even the white Wives of rich and poor back in those days were “owned” by their husbands forced to be sexual. We need to help all enslaved people today. All this talk about hate and racism, bigotry just stirs the pot and keeps it alive and well.

          • Tracy Whitney Tracy Whitney says:

            I can’t understand from where you might be gleaning your information to say that “most not all black slaves were well cared for….” That flies in the face of most of the well-documented historical records we’ve got from that era. But yes, slavery still exists today and should be of grave concern to us all. This train of thought is very hurtful and offensive to many and the point has moved far from the intent of the post.

    11. P nutt says:

      Sorry people I am not racist but the fight is real I love all color but do all color love me no they don’t we fight with this racial society and it dont take a blind man to see that it is real we are considered the worst people on earth let them tell it until individual come their
      own truth my they will understand

      • temujin says:

        Just the fact that you call it a fight tells me you most likely are racist. There are hate/racism on both side of the aisle. But I can guarantee you There is more hate and racism on the black aisle. This is from my experience living as an Asian man in North Carolina, California and now Texas… and yes I’ve lived and travel across the globe and there is always going to be racism but nothing compared to the African Americans.

        • Johe Collaget says:

          Thanks for telling it as it is. I’m white, was raised in schools telling me that racism was a white against black thing – until I actually lived in a community with blacks. Then I saw the opposite – not that there aren’t racist whites, but black racists are politically correct and you mustn’t call them racist.

      • Randall American says:

        Agreed… I thought we were making real progress with race relations in America, but apparently it has become “PC” to demonize heterosexual, white males in America, more-so in the last 8 years. MLK’s dream of judging people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin has pretty much been completely lost; as progressives see EVERYTHING solely based on one’s color rather than on merit. All people should be judged equally, and be provided the same opportunities to either fail or succeed solely based on their decisions and actions.

        • Black Love says:

          How dare you speak of Dr. King or mention any of his speeches! Where’s Dr. King, in his grave. How? He was placed there by a sick white man’s bullet and a white racist society. A man who advocated nonviolence died in a most violent manner. YOU people have NEVER DONE RIGHT — even to this day. You have even become worse bc now YOU just LIE and DENY TRUTH.

          It’s apparent that facts and true history have no bearings on the SICK RHETORIC YOU ESPOUSED on this blog! Falsely accusing Blacks for the GUILT you bear for all the hate and evil acts of your ancestors is no remedy bc you will never convince Blacks that we are the more racist. Funny, how all the slavery, discrimination and IRRATIONAL hate and prejudice have had far worse affect on you than on us, psychologically!

    12. P nutt says:

      Wake up people america is not black peoples home we are to flee babylon we have been lied to and tricked you dont have rights in this country. Time to pack before the race war its coming up then martial law enforcement. Fema camp an definitely you will not see any black people adopting white babies or white people adopting black babies were all going into camps

    13. Phemmie Emman says:

      I am a young lady in her early 30s. I will like to adopt a white baby girl… I have always cherished them. How do I go about it?

      • P nutt says:

        You are so young why do you cherish the idea of adopting a white baby oppose to adopting a black baby do you not read the statistics of how many black children in foster homes need a family but you cherish one kind do you hear how you sound good luck!!!

        • Anon says:

          She probably feels as an African-American person wanting to adopt a Caucasian baby the same as Caucasian families fall in love with adopting an African American baby… what’s it matter. There are all sorts of children in the system in foster care and growing so who cares if she wants to adopt a caucasian instead of another choice.. what’s it to you… you all sound just as racial as most everyone else so stop blaming other races. What you all do and see yourselves as TODAY is what is important. Get over it already

        • Randall American says:

          Do you have a problem with white babies? No need to answer, as we already know the answer. You don’t see the public freaking out when people seek to adopt a black child, yet people like you raise the alarm when someone seeks to adopt a white child. I suppose you have no reservations or objections when black citizens seek out black-specific organizations, neighborhoods, events, businesses, or awards/recognition, while you would complain and yell racism if white citizens would seek out white-specific organizations, neighborhoods, events, businesses or awards/recognition. Then again, I would challenge you to even find or identify any of those explicitly labeled as such (white). This country will NEVER unify across racial boundaries while any race-specific entities are allowed, promoted, or condoned.

          • FAM says:

            You’re so racist it’s rediculous. When blacks are racist it doesn’t have any effect on the other persons life. When white people are racist it can effect the other persons freedom, job, and livelyhood. [edited to remove personal attack] Anybody trying to adopt any child is a saint period. These children, no matter the color need help, from whoever is willing to provide them with it

    14. Engine Oil says:

      Skin color does not matter, matters what is underneath.

    15. engine oil maimi says:

      Most important is how the child is raised, but not what color is his parents’ skin.

    16. tee taylor says:

      Nicole Ritchie is not White, she is of Afro Creole decent so this article does not pertain to her situation.

      • Jenna says:

        actually mulatto/mestizo … idiot
        and it states what she is anyways in the article or you missed that fine print

        Nicole Richie (of Hispanic/Creole ethnicity aka mestizo/mulatto ) moved in with Lionel and Brenda Richie at age 3 and was adopted at age 9.

      • FAM says:

        Not Afro creole but Hispanic creole which is basically white creole. [edited to remove personal attacks]

    17. Jennifer says:

      I am African American and would like to adopt outside my race besides adopting within my race.

    18. Ray says:

      My name is Ray and I am a proud father of a white adopted daughter. Even though I didn’t look to adopt her she was a human being that needed help because she was being neglected both her parents. I always wanted another daughter and when my wife could no longer bare any more children, God bought a gift to my household without me even looking for it. Her presence light up a room but most importantly my heart so thankful I get to be in her life.

      • peggy says:

        That was sweet we need more people like you.

      • Nikki says:

        Was it more difficult to adopt a white child than black? Honestly, I feel extremely uncomfortable when I see so many white families with black children as a black woman. I want to know why they chose a black child. Because it’s obvious that that is more common than them adopting their own. I want to know if it’s white guilt I want to know if it’s because they are more affordable during the adoption process, I want to know if they have an agenda. It also makes me feel as a black woman, that we are not fit to raise their own children because so many of them arson adopted by white women even though it may not be statistically true it makes me feel that way. I think it would be a wonderful idea if we all switched races since white families are adopted so many black children, maybe we should in turn adopt white children and maybe the world would progress a little better as the children got older. With both sides knowing how it is to grow up with one another it could probably help erase racism and Prejudice in this country

        • God's Hands and Feet says:

          White people adopt black children for the same reason they adopt any child. When DHS calls to place a child with a foster family, they do not tell you what race the child is. They bring the child & you fall in love! Race does not matter.

        • Ettina says:

          There are more adoptable black kids. Poverty makes it more likely that parents won’t be able to care for their children, and their children are likely to wind up being put up for adoption. And black people are more likely than white people to be poor. Conversely, adoptive parents are usually upper middle class or richer, and those people are disproportionately white. That’s why there are so many white people adopting black children.

          • Randall American says:

            Actually, there are more poor whites than there are poor blacks in America. The 2013 Census reports that there are 18.9 million poor whites in America, while there are 11 million poor blacks in the same year. With the adoption costs of black children significantly lower than the cost to adopt a white child, there is a clear disadvantage or discrimination against white children needing adoption. More disgustingly skewed “equality” in America.

        • Brook says:

          As someone who adopted a black child, I will answer your question! We adopt black infants for a couple of reasons. Number one, there is a great need for it! There are many infants of color, whether it’s a black or mixed raced child needing a home. The majority of people looking for an infant are white! We can either wait a million years for a white infant or be racially open and accept any child regardless of race. My spouse and I have a very diverse family with several races through marriages etc. So we told our agency we were open to any race. But the BIGGEST reason we adopted a black infant was the birth Mom CHOSE US!!!! Period! The black birth mother of our child wanted US, a white couple, to parent her child. So stop blaming white people and acting like we are setting out to ruin the black race or doing it for some kind of show! We wanted a baby and took the first one who’s birth parents chose us. We didn’t care about race! God bless!

          • Cheri says:

            Brook, loved your story. Being a parent especially when your body says you can’t is a blessing regardless of race and gender.

        • Gerry says:

          I am a white man, my wife and I are going through the adoption process right now, to be honest it is hard to adopt any children, we are close to adopting a 7 year old African American child……It honestly does not matter to us what color skin our child is….Its cost is the same in USA whether white or black….We will raise our child to be proud of who she is and her nationality….I am adopted my self there are so many kids out there that need good homes and good parents what does skin color really matter? My wife and I are unable to sustain a pregnancy we will be just thankful to have a child to love finally after loosing two!!!

      • Randall American says:

        America needs more people/parents like you and your wife. You have a wonderful family from your description; just a loving American family that happens to have mixed ethnicity, rather than a family of blacks and whites that just happen to be Americans.

      • Danielle says:

        My husband and I also adopted a white male. We started foster care to be a blessing to children in need of a home after we had our bio daughters and the journey has been interestingly beautiful. We have a number of kids to come through our home but our oldest son’s birth mother decided she wasn’t going to try anymore so we gladly adopted him (he is a black male) and we put our home on hold while we began to get him acclimated but our social worker called and asked if we could please take back a child who we previously had because he was in need of a home. We happily received him back into our home and after a few months of him being back, we were asked to adopt him! We get asked ignorant questions and hard stares but the love that is displayed in our home is absolutely beautiful. We’ve thrown “adopted” out the window, those are my boys and my baby could care less about the color of my skin when gets grabs my face and gives me the biggest kiss and smile that can turn any bad day upside down. So yes, regardless of how the world views it, I am the proudest black mom of the sweet white boy and nothing can change that. God has tremendously blessed us and I am forever grateful.

    19. markmainor says:

      I believe that society which is obviously controlled by the Caucasian cultural could not stand by and let their babies by race be influence,guided,nurtered and taught by the African cultural aspects of a adopting parent.It will anger and jeopardise their superior complex that their will and way of life should be the one that provides the influences,guidance and does the nurturing just as the ideas they have as slave masters thinking blacks was savages and they are the reformers as ordained by GOD in the BIBLE.

      • Pissed white guy says:

        You sir are an idiot. White people don’t go around looking to do blacks wrong, but their attitude, appearance, or actions can warrant it.
        However, Blacks teaching their kids everyday that whites hate them or trying to hold them back all the time breeds racism. Stop preaching about food stamps and welfare as a way of life and try teaching them that education and following simple rules will get them opportunities they want. Not stealing or beating up people because they are white or do not agree with you. there are many affluent blacks in this country that would agree it isn’t about how much money a family has its about the values they teach and I personally see blacks taught that being a thug is cool and dis obeying society is cool…NO, that will only get you jail or dead. STOP TEACHING THAT SHIT, and society will be more accepting. Until then, its your life and you are free to do as you please but when it endangers another person (black or white) don’t be surprised when they defend themselves. Change starts at home, and from what I have seen most blacks feed of the slave narrative, that shit ended nearly 150 years ago, get over it and make something of yourselves.

        • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

          Dear Pissed, I debated over whether to approve your comment because of the racial overtones (or blatant racism), but your opinion is one help by others and worth the rest of us hearing and knowing about.

          • Randall American says:

            Seriously?!?! I did not see you give markmainor the same type or pushback, when mark made some seriously racist and hateful statements about whites. I think you should look up bias in the dictionary, as you have some SERIOUS bias.

        • Njones says:

          Hey pissed white guy, you should say get over what you haven’t experienced. Yes, slavery is over(mostly) but some of us experience things you couldn’t imagine. We don’t teach food stamps and welfare and white people are on welfare as well. Hey, its better to be MR. PISSED OFF, THAN TO BE MR. PISSED ON.

          • Randall American says:

            Guess what, you should never comment on things you have not experienced as well. Try getting over yourself and this imagined sole claim on victimization and discrimination. EVERY race in the US goes through different things. So many in this country are utterly fixated on the past when they should be focusing on the present and the future. The same goes for fixation with color – so much for judging people on the content of their character.

        • Jess says:

          Do you have any personal relationships with any black people? Not including ones you work with? I only ask because when you say white people it sounds encompassing as if Blacks are not people as well. It may be just an equally sensitivity with black readers. If someone read “the whites” would it sound racist?

        • Kenney says:

          [I STRONGLY disagree!!!] Edited by admin to remove profanity (entire post had to be removed, but we tried to keep the gist of commenters feelings)

        • FAM says:

          Wow, I’m a black America and i was never told that welfare was the way to go and I was never on food stamps. What black family or people told you that? That’s your own racism that allows you to feel that all black people teach their kids that. That’s false,.

      • Randall American says:

        Have a little racial hate in your blood? I am not sure how the highest % of poor people in America are white if this country is controlled by whites as you say, or how we had a black president as the leader of the country for the last 8 years. Try being an American citizen and being part of American culture. If you are so against American culture, or just place the priority of your race so much higher than your citizenship, then you should probably return to a country in Africa, since you place such importance on African culture. What did Africa do for you? If it was such a powerful benefit, then why do you not live there? If I moved to an African country and whined endlessly that there was not enough American culture being celebrated there, then it would be utterly foolish of me to remain in Africa. Of course, if I was born in Africa, I would not be ignorant enough to swear such love and loyalty to American culture since I never lived in the US.

    20. Fadzi says:

      I’m a black male physician, and I and my Hispanic spouse adopted an apparently white baby girl at 2 months of age through domestic adoption. She is actually mixed (3/4 Caucasian, 1/4 African-American), but for all intents and purposes, she is white. Pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair and fine facial features. I used to feel very self-conscious when going out with her in public, but now that she is 3 years old, I have no clue if people are watching us because I just go about my business. Funnily enough, I have never received any untoward treatment or been asked any insulting questions when I am out with her. I’ve also scoured the internet, looking for other parents in our position, but have failed to find much. I’d be happy to get in contact with any other black parents of white kids.

      • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

        Fadzi, I’ve heard from others who would also like more info on this type of transracial adoption.

        • Proud mommy says:

          I am a AA who adopted a Caucasian blonde hair blues eyes baby boy. My husband is Italian with an olive complexion, I on the other hand have a dark skin tone. I get the looks and stares but I make sure I catch eye contact with the person staring and I smile. My son is just that my son, so watch out world because we are raising him to be an amazing individual.

    21. radmama says:

      I am black, my youngest son, who is white, was placed with me as a foster child at 4 days old. I had more than one caseworker ask how i got him (as though a mistake or grave injustice had occurred), and when his case moved to adoption, one social worker actively looked for alternative placement. The reason more non-black children aren’t adopted by black parents is at least in part due to bias in the system–the same bias that has more non-white children in the system in the first place. In my time as a foster parent, and in my experience as a physician, I have seen that it takes a great deal less for a non-white child to be detained in the first place. I’d love to see this issue addressed. Meanwhile, I’m out of the system and raising my son.

      • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

        Good points all Radmama. Thanks.

      • Nikki says:

        Wonderful points…. I decided to Google and research all of these things because being a manager at a gourmet Market I saw so many white women with black children straight from Africa and it made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to research and Define my feelings and Define my education towards the subject I I heard recently that it is harder to take white children and families that it doesn’t happen as easy. I also heard that black African children are the most affordable children to adopt

      • Nikki says:

        Wonderful points…. I decided to Google and research all of these things because being a manager at a gourmet Market I saw so many white women with black children straight from Africa and it made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to research and Define my feelings and Define my education towards the subject. I I heard recently that it is harder to take white children and families that it doesn’t happen as easy. I also heard that black African children are the most easiest to adopt

    22. Terri says:

      I find the whole idea of blacks adopting white children disgusting. White children need to be adopted by their own race and culture. There are more black kids to adopt and they need for black parents to adopt them. White kids deserve better than ghetto culture.

      • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

        Terri, I’ve debated with myself long and hard about whether to “approve” your comment because of it’s clear racist content. I finally decided to allow it to post because to do otherwise would be to try to pretend that these type of beliefs don’t still exist. This comment is a clear example that we don’t live in a “post-racial” society.

        • joann kelley says:

          I would just like to say in defense to the rest of humanity people like Mr Terri are the small minority and us we the people who one day dream of a coexisting peaceful society or the majority

        • Jordan says:

          Unfortunately, the first time I realized I was a bit more racist than I originally believed was the time I saw a very dark skinned black man with his white daughter. I immediately looked for the mother and wondered why the man had the girl.

          It took me aback once I realized how foolish I had been. I never considered myself as racist before.

          I think this is an important issue because it also brings up the idea that, as a white woman, I would be willing to adopt a child from a different race. However, when clearly analyzing my feelings toward that notion, I realize there is a hint of a feeling that I would be some how be “rescuing” the child of another ethnicity more so than with the adoption of a white child.

          Though Terri’s comment is truly disturbing, I find it just as disturbing to realize that there are probably far more people like myself who don’t even realize that their ideas of what is acceptable is tainted by racism.

          It is sad that someone as truly pure hearted and devoted as a man who is an adoptive father would suffer even inward censure from another due to his willingness to adopt a child of another race, despite it not being some sort of sick boon to his self-esteem as it could potentially be in the reverse.

          • Jordan says:

            In re-reading that comment, I didn’t mean I would be rescuing the child from being a black child. I meant I would feel as if I were recuing a child of that ethnicity from a bad life more so than I would feel as if I were rescuing a white child from a bad life, which is completely ridiculous.

          • Marilyn says:

            Thank you for being so honest and real. It’s refreshing to hear the truth. People tend to forget who use to tend to master’s children during slavery. We’ve always been a nurturing people. Even after slavery people still allowed the to take care of their children. People who live in the hood don’t typically adopt children of any race, unless it’s a family member. Because 9 times out of 10 they can’t afford to.

          • pissed white guy says:

            How bad would you have felt if you didnt give it a thought and she WAS kidnapped?? DO NOT persecute yourself over your thoughts, its your actions that count ….did you yell racist remarks? did you call the cops?? did you go up and question him directly as to why he had this child?? I doubt it; so there is nothing to beat yourself up over, its called being concerned for a child. PERIOD! When that child turns to them without fear there is generally no longer a need to worry. Sick of the racial divide and sadly its mostly the “African Americans” that push the divide.

      • Abigail says:

        Terri you are sick for saying such disgusting things. Hopefully you’re able to locate your heart sometime soon.

      • jakball says:

        When we die are we black and white in spirit? I think not but Terri it sounds like your soul is very dark. You have a terrible heart and a closed mind. You make white people look bad, and Im embarrassed for you. I think being color blind is a beautiful thing. I might be a little racist as a whole, but not towards the black community. Black people stand arm in arm with white Americans, and we’ve come a long ways together. Black lives matter! (and so do their white babies!)

        • Dominique Anne says:

          I am 30 yrs old female black and Hispanic and a product of an interracial adoption. My italian adoptive parents fostered 30 kids black and white and Hispanic and Asian etc..before they adopted my brother who is white and disabled and myself. I am so proud of my family. My biological family when I met them thought I was brainwashed or told horrible things about them but that was not the case. I was told the truth and never got an inkling of racism in any direction from my forever family. Now raising my daughter with a Hispanic man I am even more proud that my daughter gets to be with my family of all colors shapes and sizes. It should all be as simple as getting a child for the love of a child and not favoring or requesting one race or the other. If a child is in need of a family and you can give of your whole heart adopt them! Or foster to see how it feels first.

      • Yashaya says:

        Well I’m sorry you feel that way Esau our black children don’t need to be in your white family house as well. We are the chosen people of the Most High. And the bible tells us not to deal with your people because Esau is the people the Most High hate. For whites to have a black child in there house is another form of modern day slavery. Everyone knows that whites are against the twelve tribes of Isreal which the people of color are. Yashaya which your people say that he is white but the KJV says he is black. Your people say that yall Jesus is a white man which is not true. You Esau will see the true Messiah in a minute when he come out of the skies with wooly white hair and you will want to serve the true children of Isreal!!!!!!!!!! And the time is about to be over for whites to be done ruleing over the chosen children of the most high says our God .Blessing to the twelve tribes of Isreal

        • Gerry says:

          Um I am sorry but I don’t see how having black children in a white home is modern slavery? I think there is something wrong in that head of yours…..And clearly you skipped the part in the bible that stated love the neighbor as you love the self…..Hmmmmm hate your self alot huh?

      • Liz says:

        Terri, I do not understand why you feel that way?

        Blacks, Asians, Whites and Hispanics should be able to adopt white, black asian hispanic children if they want to adopt outside their race

        Personally I am planning on adopting transracially, It has been my dream of having a multicultural family, I sure wouldn’t want you around my kids.

        Your comment is offensive and pure hatred

      • Cheri says:

        I find you disgusting and you should be very disappointed in your parents

    23. samantha says:

      Our close friends are black and their first (and last!) foster placement was with a set of 8 year old twin girls who were pale blonde haired and crystal blue eyed. The parental rights for the girls were relinquished later on and even though our friends had had no plans to adopt, they had fallen in love with these little girls and could not let them go, and the girls had finally learned to trust and they didn’t want to lose that progress. They were the ones who inspired my (white) husband and I to adopt from foster care.

      Of course, we live in a middle class area where people assume their mom is their nanny.

      • Jim says:

        We are putting together a Docu-Series about Transracial Adoptions and I would love to speak with this family. Twin girls! That’s amazing! Let’s show the world that love is color blind!!! Thanks In Advance!

        • Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

          We don’t advertise for TV shows. We are approached often with the request to do this. I will however approve this comment, so that anyone who reads this can contact you themselves if they are interested.

    24. Georgette says:

      You made some great observations. Many that I would have made as well. Unfortunately black families aren’t as ‘post racial’ as they sometimes ask others to be.

      • Michele says:

        Georgette, you are mistaken. Blacks don’t generally ask others to be “post racial.” On the contrary, we want people to remember that race still matters, and we won’t accept inferior or more violent treatment because of our race. There is no such thing as post racial, and those that insist there is, or that we have achieved it are just engaging in a dangerous form of denial.
        I am a Black adoptive parent and I would add to the list the prohibitive cost of private and international adoption, wanting to parent a child that looks like me, and the decreasing likelihood of a Black child being adopted the older they get.
        Michele

    25. nora says:

      I’m sure there is also the issue of white expectant mothers preferring white adoptive parents over black adoptive parents.

    26. Nora says:

      I’m sure there is bias in that white birthmothers may be less likely to choose black adoptive families if whites are available

    27. Cherlyn says:

      My husband is black, I am white. We have adopted 2 white sons. I have yet to meet another family with a black parent and white children. We live in a fairly diverse area so we don’t really experience too many looks or comments. However, the other day when my husband dropped our boys off at camp, the teacher actually asked my husband if he was the nanny. smh. I think it is okay to wonder about the relationship, but to assume that my husband is the hired help is not. Her question could have been, “what is your relationship to the kids?” would have been way better.

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