In the early stages of a foster care placement, the goal is commonly to reunify a child with their birth parents. Reunification might also be the initial plan when bringing home a relative’s child to ensure safe care and healing. Whether you call it shared parenting or co-parenting, the adults involved in this child’s life are committing to work with the child’s birth parents to keep the child’s needs at the center of their intentions and efforts.

Children feel more secure when they see their foster parents or kinship caregivers working with their birth parents. They are less likely to struggle with divided loyalties when the adults co-parent well. As a result, the children’s behavior may improve. When relative caregivers or foster parents work with birth parents for a child’s best interests, the child’s sense of felt safety and trust increases. Shared parenting can smooth the way for whatever final permanency decisions must happen for the children, including reunification or adoption. Finally, the children also experience opportunities for continued connection with their family of origin.

It can be tempting to villainize or dismiss the birth parents for the mistakes or struggles that ultimately resulted in their child needing a new, safe place to live. When there are safety issues involved, working with the birth parents (co-parenting, shared parenting) must look different. However, the goal of shared parenting is to work as a team to help this child cope with all the changes and the healing ahead.