Raising a child who constantly forgets homework, loses track of time, or struggles to complete chores can be tough. It’s easy to feel frustrated, but there’s hope. Your child can build executive function skills with the right tools and support. These are the brain’s self-management tools; like any skill, they can be taught and improved over time.

What Are Executive Function Skills?

Executive functioning refers to the brain’s ability to successfully plan, focus, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks. These skills help kids control impulses, manage time, stay organized, and adapt to new situations.

Some children, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, prenatal exposure to substances, developmental delays, or other learning-related challenges, might struggle more in this area. But with support, growth is always possible.

7 Practical Tips to Build Executive Functioning

Every child can grow their executive functioning abilities. These tips can help you build those skills with compassion, structure, and consistency.

1. Learn and Adjust

Start by learning as much as you can about your child’s unique strengths and challenges. Talk to professionals like your child’s teacher, school psychologist, occupational or speech therapist, or pediatrician. You might need a team to help you understand what’s behind the struggles and rule out any other conditions.

Every child develops on their own timeline. Meet them where they are, not where you think they “should” be. Focus on progress, not perfection. Your goal is to help them grow from what they can already do.

2. Use Real-Life Teaching Moments

Forget about extra classes or lectures—real growth happens during everyday activities. If your middle schooler has homework, that’s your opportunity to teach study skills. Help them work through it in real time. Break down the steps, discuss how to approach them, and celebrate the wins, even small ones.

When children are guided in the moment and praised for their efforts, they’re more likely to remember and use those skills later.

Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshops for Parents

3. Tap into What Motivates Them

Ask your child what kinds of rewards matter to them. Maybe it’s more screen time, a later bedtime, a favorite snack, or one-on-one time with you. Use these rewards to encourage effort and growth. When they succeed, even in small ways, follow it with something positive. That feel-good brain chemical, dopamine, plays a role in wiring new habits.

And remember: struggling with executive function isn’t a choice. Your child isn’t being lazy or defiant. They’re still developing. Praise their efforts and avoid punishing skill gaps. Framing it as “can’t yet” instead of “won’t” changes the game.

4. Use Visuals and Templates

Executive functioning involves organizing thoughts, tasks, and time. Help your child by breaking down tasks into more manageable steps and using tools that make those steps visible. Talk through the task with them, ask questions like “What comes first?” or “How long will this take?”

Try folding a piece of paper into three columns: “To Do,” “In Progress,” and “Done.” Have your child move tasks through each column. Planners, checklists, and calendars are your friends. Use digital tools like Google Calendar or apps like Todoist if that works best for your family.

The goal is to build structure into their brain with repeated use of these tools.

5. Prepare for Transitions

Many kids with executive functioning challenges struggle with shifting from one task to another. Transitions are hard! You can help by giving them a heads-up. Say, “We’re leaving the park in five minutes. You can grab your protein bar for the ride.” Then, use a timer to signal when it’s time to go.

When there’s pushback, empathize first: “I know, it’s hard to leave when you’re having fun. I’d stay longer, too if we could.” Then redirect them with the transition item you mentioned earlier.

Bridging activities like this can ease the stress of switching gears.

6. Support Their Memory

Think of your child’s working memory like a note written in invisible ink. To help them remember tasks, make things visual and external. Create daily checklists for things like brushing teeth or feeding the dog. For younger kids, use fewer words and include pictures.

Make it fun! Rhymes, songs, or dances help cement things in their memory. You can even make up your own lyrics to familiar tunes. And don’t be afraid to get silly — whatever helps it stick. Resources like Pinterest or YouTube can offer creative tools, too.

7. Strengthen Impulse Control

When addressing impulsivity, focus on what you want your child to do, not what you want them to stop. Say, “Hands in your pockets,” rather than “Don’t touch that.” Be clear, concise, and positive in your language.

Reinforce good behavior right away with praise, a thumbs-up, or another reward they value. Creating a reward that feels more inviting than the impulse will help them choose self-control over impulse. Extra screen time or driving privileges are often great motivators for teens.

Plan for tricky situations like waiting rooms or long car rides. Set your expectations in advance, offer a reward for managing well, and praise their efforts along the way.

Support your learning with our monthly newsletter!

It’s a Learning Curve for Everyone

Helping your child build executive function skills isn’t a quick fix. It’s a journey. But with your guidance, encouragement, and a toolbox of practical strategies, your child can develop the skills they need to thrive.

Keep learning, keep adjusting, and most importantly, keep believing in your child’s capacity to grow.

Image Credits: Julia M Cameron; Max Fischer; Gustavo Fring