In many ways, parenting after infertility is no different from general parenting. Your life brims with typical parenting concerns like getting your kids to sleep, trying new foods, and setting your child up for success in school. However, you are a different person and, therefore, a different kind of parent because you struggled with infertility. And your child, whether they’ve come to you through adoption, foster care, or third-party reproduction, has a few key differences that require extra attention and intention as you raise them. 

It is worth thinking about some unique ways infertility might affect your parenting style. How did you handle your disappointment and grief? What did you learn about your strength and resilience? You likely navigated some challenging conversations and unwanted advice. All these struggles can inform how you parent a child who has felt their own loss and grief before joining your family. It’s also valuable to consider how your child’s history impacts their experience in your family. Learning about trauma, neglect, abuse, or prenatal substance exposure is not easy, but educating yourself about these topics will equip you to be the parent this child needs. 

When raising a child through adoption, foster, kinship care, or a third-party reproductive process, you must also consider how and when to tell them about their story in age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate ways.