Adoption Books for Parents
Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge – This book, written by an adoptee, gives insight to understanding the nature of adoption from the adoptees perspective, which can be quite different than the adoptive parent perspective. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues parents need to understand to nurture the child they love–that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future–that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be–and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. It gives a voice to children’s unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. We interviewed Sherrie Eldridge on one of the first Creating a Family Radio Show/Podcasts.
Modern Families: Parents and Children in New Family Forms by Susan Golombok. The research is coming in–parents and children in “new” families (single moms, same sex, IVF, donor, surrogacy) are doing just fine. In fact, they are thriving. Modern Families explores all the research on these new family structures. The author, Dr. Susan Golombok is the leading researcher world wide on how new forms of families are doing and how they affect children. While all this talk about research may sound dull, this book is anything but. Golombok has a way of making the research understandable and fascinating. The introduction talking about what makes strong families and good parents is one of the best summaries we’ve seen. Great book!
The Children Money Can Buy: Stories from the Frontlines of Foster Care and Adoption by Anne Moody – Part analysis, part memoir, The Children Money Can Buy chronicles Moody’s lifelong commitment to the world of adoption and foster care. Moody touches on the adoption sector’s ugly side, such as ‘baby buying’ and profit-driven adoption facilitators, but takes care to counterbalance these negatives, however, by also detailing the positive changes that have occurred in the field over the course of her career, such as the increase in open adoptions. Both a social worker and an adoptive mother, Moody provides compelling behind the scenes anecdotes that span state, international and domestic adoption. A a great read for anyone exploring adoption.
From Pain to Parenthood: A Journey Through Miscarriage to Adoption by Deanna Kahler – From the author: “In addition to my personal story of what I went through to become a parent, I also offer suggestions and resources for others, including tips for dealing with grief, an adoption Q&A, a list of possible agencies, questions to ask an agency, etc.”
The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole by Lori Holden – This is one wise book. Sure, it is full of the practicalities of open adoption (the how-tos), but it is the spirit of this book that truly shines. This is a must read for every adoptive and expectant parent at the beginning of their adoption journey. Listen to the Creating a Family interview with Lori Holden “Open Adoption: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know.”
Truly Yours: Wise Words on the Miracle of Adoption by Laura Dail. A collection of stories and thoughts about adoption in a newly-published edition. It is written with adoptive families in mind, and contains resource lists for both children and adults.
Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. This is a great resource.
Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent by Lois Ruskai Melina – Written by an adoptive mother, Raising Adopted Children draws upon the latest research in psychology, sociology and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their adopted child’s development. It provides an overview of many of issues surrounding adoptive parenting such as attachment, contact with biological family and adopting older children. A fantastic resource!
Making Sense of Adoption: A Parent’s Guide by Lois Ruskai Melina. Anything by Lois Melina is worth reading. She is wise and practical.
The Open Adoption Experience – A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families by Lois Ruskai Melina is an authoritative and reassuring guide to the issues and concerns of adoptive and birth families through all stages of the open adoption relationship.
Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul: Stories Celebrating Forever Families by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and LeAnn Thieman L.P.N. This is a collection of heart warming stories (I know that is an overused adjective, but in this case, it’s true) about adoption and the families created. I’m a sucker for the Chicken Soup books and this one is no exception.
China Ghosts by Jeff Gammage. This memoir is written by a father adopting from China, which is a nice change from the usual and gives us interesting insights of his journey.
Faces of Layla: A Journey Through Ethiopian Adoption. Photography by Emma Dodge Hanson, text by Melissa Fay Greene and Jennifer Armstrong. A wonderful photo essay book of the children and caretakers at Layla House in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families by Pat Johnston. This is Pat’s latest book and is terrific. It incorporates the information from several of her previous books, including Adopting After Infertility. I interviewed Pat for the radio show, Creating A Family. You can listen to our interview here.
The Post-Adoption Blues by Karen Foli and John Thompson. This is really more a book about the post adoption transition period and provides some helpful suggestions for parents who are in the midst of a difficult adjustment. I interviewed Karen on the Creating a Family radio show – Transitioning Home.
Adoption Lifebook, a Bridge to Your Child’s Beginnings by Cindy Probst A workbook style book for international adoptive families focuses on explaining your child’s unique story. Not specific to your child, but to internationally adopted kids in general. Good resource.
Beneath the Mask by Debbie Riley, M.S. and John Meeks, M.D. Aimed at helping adopted teens and strengthening the family unit. This book offers a step-by-step assessment process; clinical intervention strategies; a wealth of case histories; treatment resources and therapy tools; and writing & art therapy samples. The book discusses the six most common adoption “stuck-spots” for adopted children as they age.
Adoption is a Family Affair! What Relatives and Friends Must Know by Patricia Irwin Johnston. I like most books by Pat Johnston and this is no exception.
Adoption Today, although not as popular or as slick looking as the other adoptive parenting magazine, this is a jewel of information and shouldn’t be overlooked.
While We Wait: Spiritual and Practical Advice for Those Trying to Adopt by Heidi Schlumpf. This book is written by a mother who has struggled through the adoption process herself. It is designed to offer spiritual grounding for frustrated and stressed-out prospective parents who are waiting for children. Each reflection is followed by a prayer for God to comfort and help prospective adoptive parents. Specifically, chapters address the choice to adopt, coping with different seasons and special holidays while waiting for an adoption to come through, the emotions and challenges faced by people who are waiting with prospective parents, the range of emotions felt by those who are waiting, coping strategies for dealing with the wait, and spiritual resources to sustain prospective parents.
Finding Aster by Dina McQueen. This Ethiopian adoption story, is a fascinating memoir that follows one woman’s journey to motherhood via international adoption. The title could just as easily have been, Finding Dina, for it is truly a memoir of discovery for the author as she relives the life decisions she has made leading up to the maternal evolution to become a mother.
Labor of The Heart: A Parent’s Guide to Decisions and Emotion in Adoption by Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D. Dr. Whitten combines her expertise as a developmental psychologist with her experiecne as an adoptive mother to guide parents through the challenges of adoption decisions.
Being Adopted: The Lifelong for Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schechter and Robin Marantz Henig – One of the first, and still one of the best, books to explore the lifelong impact of being adopted and normalizing the questions many adoptees feel. This book has been life affirming for many adoptees and should be a must read for every adoptive parent. Dr. David Brodzinsky has been interviewed on several Creating a Family Radio shows: Adopting Out of Birth Order and Mental Health Issues with Adopted Kids
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