Children adopted from foster care or an orphanage are more likely to have suffered from neglect or abuse, and these children are sometimes more difficult to parent.  What tips and tricks are there to help you best raise these children?  Host Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of Creating a Family, the national infertility & adoption education and support nonprofit, interviews Allison Douglas, Family Advocate at Harmony Family Center in Knoxville, TN. She and her husband have adopted 4 children via foster care. Also interviewed is Sue Badeau, President of the North American Council on Adoptable Children and adoptive mom of 22 children.

Highlights of the show (click to expand)
  • Suggestions on how to parent a very strong willed, gifted preschooler who is an extreme perfectionist, easily frustrated, and prone to multiple emotional, screaming, sometimes violent outbursts a day. He has no past trauma or other issues.
  • Tips for coping with a child that gets into absolutely everything and can not be left unattended for even a minute.
  • How to cope with sensory processing disorders.
  • How to get respite or in-home therapy when none seems to be available and child is not on Medicaid.
  • How to find in home help for a child that needs constant supervision.
  • How do you handle when “harder to parent” kids withdraw after being affectionate?
  • Any idea on how to manage kids who run away or keep trying to push you away?
  • In transracial adoptions, sibling conflicts can be hard/frequent with the children already in the family being perceived as better treated, simply due to that child having less behavior and defiance issues. Any suggestions appreciated.
  • How can you help siblings deal with a child who has extreme behaviors? For example, our new 13 year old son has violent temper tantrums. Our strategy is to remain calm and “ignore” the behaviors until he is calm. Our older kids think we’re letting him get away with murder because we’d never tolerate similar behavior from them.
  • What to do when a child’s behaviors makes it really hard for to like her (or even love) her. How to connect with a kid that is not very easy to parent or like.
  • How to deal with ODD and aggressive behaviors?
  • What are some strategies parents can use when a child is raging?
  • How to know when a residential treatment facility is the best option. What are the best dos and don’t for residential placement to help the child and the family?
  • If you could give just a few pieces of advice to people who are parenting the harder to parent child, what would it be?

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Image credit:

Chirag Rathod