Talking with Your Adopted or Foster Child about the Hard Parts of Their Story

Radio Show

0

hard parts of adoption and foster care

Talking with your adopted or foster child about the hard parts of their story can feel like a daunting task.  Should you tell your child that her birth father is in jail or that her birth mother is addicted to drugs, or that she was conceived by rape? If so, how in the world do you share this news. We talk with Lesli Johnson, an EMDR therapist who specializes in adoption and foster care and an adult adoptee; and Susan Myers, a licensed Master Social Worker with Adoptions from the Heart Adoption Agency with offices throughout the northeast.

+ Hit the Highlights

  • Adopted and foster children often come to us with hard back stories: his birth parents are in jail, her birth mother used drugs or drank alcohol when she was pregnant, he was conceived via rape, siblings were kept by first family, it’s not known where siblings are, her first mother abused him, his birth father abused his mother, her first parents are addicted to drugs or alcohol, …
  • Should you tell your child these difficult parts of their history?
  • How should you tell your child these hard parts of their background?
  • How do you lay the groundwork with young children in order to fill in the details later?
  • By what age should you have shared all of your child’s story with him?
  • Give specific examples of how a conversation might go with a preschooler, and how would you fill in the gaps for a 6 year old, 10, 13 year old, etc.
    • Child abuse
    •  Addiction
    • Parent in jail
  • Can you use a lifebook to talk about rape, imprisonment, drug and alcohol addiction?
  • What is a lifebook and what should be included in a lifebook?
  • How to use a lifebook when there is jail, rape, abuse, etc in the child’s story?
  • Specifically, how should parents tell their child that they were conceived during a rape?
  • Oversharing can happen with both parents and with children.
  • It’s tempting when your child is an infant to tell people private information. Why should foster and adoptive parents avoid this?
  • When might it be important to share some details of the child’s background?
  • How do you help your child understand how much of his story he should share with others outside the family?
  • How can adoptive parents help their children understand that they are more than the hard parts of their history and that they are not doomed to repeat their birth parents’ mistakes?

Music credit: Michael Ashworth

Photo Credit: press 👍 and ⭐ from Pixabay 

20/11/2020 | by Radio Show | Categories: 2020 Shows, Adoption, Adoption Radio Shows, Radio Show | 0 Comments



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top ↑

Content created by Creating a Family. And remember, there are no guarantees in adoption or infertility treatment. The information provided or referenced on this website should be used only as part of an overall plan to help educate you about the joys and challenges of adopting a child or dealing with infertility. Although the following seems obvious, our attorney insists that we tell you specifically that the information provided on this site may not be appropriate or applicable to you, and despite our best efforts, it may contain errors or important omissions. You should rely only upon the professionals you employ to assist you directly with your individual circumstances. CREATING A FAMILY DOES NOT WARRANT THE INFORMATION OR MATERIALS contained or referenced on this website. CREATING A FAMILY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS LIABILITY FOR ERRORS or omissions in this information and materials and PROVIDES NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, implied, express or statutory. IN NO EVENT WILL CREATING A FAMILY BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, including without limitation direct or indirect, special, incidental, or consequential damages, losses or expenses arising out of or in connection with the use of the information or materials, EVEN IF CREATING A FAMILY OR ITS AGENTS ARE NEGLIGENT AND/OR ARE ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.