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Adoptive parents spend a lot of time preparing themselves for adoption, but what about their extended family?  As much as we want grandparents, aunts, and siblings to be supportive and excited about our upcoming adoption, this is not always the case.  In this course we will talk about how to help extended family understand adoption.  Our guest is Elisabeth O’Toole, author of In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption.

Highlights of the show (click to expand)
  • How can we educate our family and friends about adoption?
  • When should you start educating your parents and extended family and friends about adoption in general and your plans in specific, especially if they have not been a part of your infertility journey or adoption journey up to this point.
  • Why do some people choose not to share their adoption plans until right before the adoption?
  • What should you do if your parents do not warm up to your child or show favoritism to other grandchildren?
  • How to handle comments about needing to try harder to have a “child of your own”.
  • Transracial adoption can often throw a kink into your extended families reaction to your adoption news. What are some causes for this reaction and what can you do?
  • How to handle when your family shares adoption horror stories with you?
  • Loss is a part of adoption for your child certainly, but also for yourself and for your extended family. And with loss comes grief. What are some of the losses grandparents and extended family members may feel surrounding your plans to adopt a child?
  • How to handle derogatory comments from grandparents?
  • How to handle racist comments from your extended family.
  • How to handle questions on the type of adoption that you choose.
  • Suggestions on how to educate our family and friends about open adoption. Any suggestions on how to start the education?
  • How to help our parents understand why we are parenting the way we do to facilitate attachment.

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Show originally aired in 2011.