Tips for Finding Male Role Models for Kids of Single Moms/Lesbian Couples


  1. Consider moving nearer to your extended family so they can become part of your support network, and your male relatives can become role models. Specifically ask your dad, brother, or cousin to become more involved in your child’s life.
  2. Make it a point to actively cultivate male platonic friends either in groups or individually.
  3. Join a church and ask the minister if she/he can recommend an older couple whose children are grown who might become surrogate grandparents to your child and who share an interest with your child, such as fishing, hiking, or reading. Aim for steady, if not frequent get togethers.
  4. Ask for male teachers for you children throughout their elementary and middle school grades.
  5. Take your children to a male pediatrician and dentist. (When they are young it doesn’t matter, but as a girl reaches puberty, I prefer a female doctor.)
  6. Ask you children’s friend’s dads to include your child in activity specific outings, such as ballgames, theater, etc.
  7. Enroll your children in sports since most coaches are men.
  8. Boy Scouts are a source of wonderful role models for our sons.
  9. When your child is old, enough enroll him in a Big Brothers program.
  10. Look to your child’s interests and try to find male mentors. For example, if your daughter is a budding photographer, find a photography club for both of you to join and seek out male photographers to work with you and your child.


Image credit: Hans-Jorg Aleff