Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving that 1st Year

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Adopting and fostering older kids is hard for both the child and the parent, especially the first year. A panel of moms who have adopted older kids share their tips for surviving the first year home. Host Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of Creating a Family, the national infertility & adoption education and support nonprofit, interviews Melissa Basham, mom to 4 boys adopted from foster care; Abigail Betancourt, mom to 2 kids adopted from foster care; Jan Egozi, mom to one child adopted internationally; and Shelley McMullen, mom to 1 child adopted internationally.

+ Highlights of the show (click to expand)

  • What were the first few months like with your child?
  • Did your child have a honeymoon period? How long?
  • What resources were particularly helpful for you?
  • What have you said or done to empower your child/children that they have the power over their story and who and when they choose to share?
  • How do you integrate your child so they feel “caught up” on the family story, inside jokes?
  • How to help your children navigate their feelings of loyalty, love, anger, and confusion towards their birth family/biological family?
  • In hindsight, what would your panelists have done differently to prepare themselves for parenting an older child? What would they have done differently during the first few weeks, months, and year with their child/children adopted at older ages?
  • What are the top 3 things parents adopting an older child should have on their radar screens regarding educational issues and concerns?
  • How do you firmly establish your role as parent? How to deal with the common issue that older adopted kids often do not readily see their adoptive parents in a parental role and as “being in charge.”
  • What are some typical food issues with children adopted at an older age? How have these experienced parents dealt with them.
  • How to deal with food hoarding and gorging with adopted children who experienced food scarcity before adoption.

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14/07/2016 | by Radio Show | Categories: 2016 Shows, Adoption, Adoption Radio Shows, Radio Show | 3 Comments

3 Responses to Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving that 1st Year

  1. Avatar Karyn Ness says:

    This was an excellent presentation! I have 2 biologic girls and 2 from China. The youngest girl just came home in March, 2016 at age 7. I found that I was Bil d-sided by my feelings z in preparing f for this afoption for a year, I never saw feR as a part of it. When we arrived in China and I saw Yu Yiu I was terrified , like saying “what have I done ?!” She is a wonderful little girl and I take things day by day . My third daughter who is 17 and also from China had had a very difficult time . She has always had problems , but they escalated to the po t where she is now in a partial hospitalization program for treatment . Long over due by the way .

    I am glad to see this topic get attention. In the 90s and early 2000s many girls were adopted from China. International adoptions have decreased by about 70% since 2004. It seems as if either no o e was aware of the emotional issues adopted childrwn face or didn’t want to talk about out it. I can already awe differences in my daughters . Definite the fact that Audtey (who we call Yu Yu) came home at age 7, she is more emotional ally aware , has better relationship skills and more empathy than Anna ever had despite coming home at 14 months. We used America World Afoption Association and I give them tremendous credit for preparing us. I would recommend them to prospective adoptive families.
    I’d like to keep in touch. .

  2. Pingback: Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving that 1st Year –

  3. Pingback: Having Sex and Skipping Homework: 10 Tips for the First Year of Adoption | Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care

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