Healing Your History to Help Your Kids Heal Theirs with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, Ph.D.

Do you feel like raising a child with a history of trauma has stirred up your own traumatic past? If you wonder how to parent from a position of healing, listen to this conversation with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz. She is a psychologist, trauma expert, and author of the new book, Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be.


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In this episode, we cover:

  • You open your book by saying, ‘It’s not you, it’s your trauma.’ That feels like both a relief and a challenge. Can you unpack that for parents and caregivers who blame themselves for every misstep in their parenting?
  • When you use the term post-traumatic parent, what do you mean? How does that differ from saying ‘parent with trauma’ or ‘healed parent’?
  • Many caregivers feel haunted by an internal guilt that says, “How can I give what I never received?” How can parents or caregivers move from guilt to agency—without glossing over the pain?
  • What are the 5 post-traumatic parenting defaults you identify in your book? What do they look like in real-life moments of parenting? 
  • How does a parent choose not to opt into those old trauma-driven defaults (e.g., yelling, withdrawal, overcontrol) in the moment? 
  • The metaphor of trauma as an app
  • What is the concept of cycle-breaking versus cycle-making, and how is it valuable for breaking those unhealthy parenting patterns?
  • What are some practical applications of this post-traumatic parenting reframe? 
  • How can a parent create and maintain trauma-responsive routines or rituals that will increase a child’s sense of felt safety, without being rigid or feeling like a bunch of rules they must follow?


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Music Credit: Michael Ashworth; Podcast Producer: megownsoundworks.com; Photo by Vitaly Gariev: https://www.pexels.com/photo/three-women-sitting-on-a-couch-talking-to-each-other-23495757/