Adopting out of Birth Order and Artificial Twinning

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General adoption wisdom says that it is best not to adopt out of birth order or to create artificial twins through adoption, but it still happens. What are the realities of these decisions? Is it always a bad idea to choose one of these paths in adoption? This course is a well-rounded discussion of the issues with Dr. Anne Brodzinsky, psychologist and co-author of Children’s Adjustment to Adoption; and Dr. Martha Henry, Director of the Office for Foster Care and Adoption at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and co-author of Adoption in the United States: A Reference for Families, Professionals, and Students.

Highlights of the show (click to expand)
  • Why is the practice of adopting out of birth order discouraged by many adoption professionals?
  • How does this position affect the adoption of older children?
  • Does it matter which child is being displaced?  Eldest? Youngest?
  • How can parents handle the situation where the newly adopted child is now the eldest, but not as mature as the child that was the displaced as the eldest?
  • How can parents tie responsibility to maturity, not age?
  • Should parents talk with existing children to see their position on the adoption?
  • How can parents handle a newly adopted eldest child that wants to be in control and boss the other children?
  • Practical suggestions for parents adopting out of birth order
  • Is it a bad idea to adopt two children close in age?
  • What is meant by virtual twins?
  • Does it matter if the children that are adopted at are the same age are of a different gender?
  • How do you explain to the rest of the world why you have two children who are the same but not twins?
  • Practical parenting tips for parents that have artificial twins.

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