Welcoming an older child to your home can be overwhelming, exciting, and scary. The responsibility and privilege feel weighty when considering what this child has experienced. Whether this child comes to you through foster care or adoption, or you’ve stepped in to help a family member raise their child, there are many challenges and rewards to raising an older child.

Knowing that the definition of “older” tends to differ depending on how this child came to you is critical. For example, foster care caseworkers tell us that they consider “older” to be school-age kids. However, in international adoption, “older” often means children over two years old. Each age brings unique needs and challenges to consider.

Welcoming an older child to your home means supporting a child who has experienced life before adoption. This life has often included exposure to loss, chaos, abuse, and neglect. A history of trauma affects a child’s development. Therefore, how you parent and nurture them must address those impacts. Families and children can thrive when parents and caregivers have good preparation and support to raise these older children.