Every infertile person dreads the question: “When are you going to have kids?” We thought we would have some fun coming up with some slightly off color replies. No, you can’t really use these, but you can enjoy the guilty pleasure of giggling while you fantasize about saying them. My thanks to the Creating a Family Facebook group for their suggestions.
- After being around your kids, we’ve decided to remain childless. ~ Sarah
- After spending some time with _______ (spouse’s name) relatives, we’ve decided to not propagate that gene pool. ~ Dawn R.
- I was thinking about it, but then I realized I’d have to quit drinking for at least six months and decided I wasn’t ready for that level of commitment.~ Melissa
- When my body decides it’s tired of having sex, sushi, drugs, and alcohol constantly.~ Marci
- I will start having kids when you start having a brain” ~KellyAnne
- Have you seen the way your kids behave? Do you think I’d purposely sign up for that? ~KellyAnne
- When are you going to stop having them? ~Lora
- When men become pregnant. ~ Jocelyn
- When you stop asking. ~ Elizabeth
- We’re not having much luck and are wondering if we’re doing something wrong. What position do you recommend? How often do you do “it”? Oh yes, and are you pro or against orgasms when trying to get preggers? Wait, before you walk away, do you have a favorite lubricant or do you prefer good ole saliva?
Can you add one of your own?
Other Creating a Family resources you will enjoy:
- Ten ‘Real’ Answers to “When are you Going to Have Kids”
- Infertility: Letting Go of What We Thought Life Was Going to Be
- Infertility, Adoption, and Green-Eyed Monster Named Envy
- Dear Pregnant Friend: Why I Seem Like a Selfish B_tch
First published in 2010; Updated in 2016.