“Dawn, have you heard of the Facebook app Unbaby Me? Don’t you think it’s kind of tacky to do that to your friends. I mean I’ve experienced infertility, but I was always able to celebrate my friend’s happiness.”
In short, no, I don’t think blocking pictures of babies on your Facebook newsfeed is tacky when you are trying to cope with infertility. In fact, I think it might actually be a sign of mental health. I’m not suggesting that it is for everyone, but it can be a life saver (or at least a sanity saver) for some.
Unbaby Me is a Chrome browser extension (not a Facebook app) that allows you to replace pictures of babies in your Facebook newsfeed with pictures of kittens, puppies, abstract designs, or even bacon. Whether it is tacky, in my mind, depends on the motive. If you are just trying to be snarky then, yes, it is tacky. But if the adorable pictures of your friends’ kids cause you pain, then why not practice a little self-care?
The Pain of Infertility
Pain and grief is so individual. Some people struggling with infertility are able to celebrate the good fortune of their friend’s easy conceptions and their cute kids. Bully for them! For others who’ve been trying to conceive for years, seeing pictures of new babies and adoring parents feels like ripping a scab off a festering sore. The first group is not morally superior to the second; they simply cope with grief differently.
Infertility Causes Withdrawal from Life
One of the saddest parts of infertility is that it often causes people to withdraw both online and in person. The pain of seeing children and happy families is just too great a reminder of what they are missing. Withdrawing from life is not healthy. Infertility shouldn’t rob you of your life, as well as the ability to be a parent.
So, if turning a baby picture into a delicious slab of bacon serves as a small band aid to the pain of infertility, why not? An added benefit is the giggle you’ll get every time you read the adoring comments being directed to whatever picture you choose. I wouldn’t suggest, however, letting your fertility-blessed friends know that you are turning their kids into bacon. Some things are best kept to yourself.
What do you think? Tacky or a good way to care for yourself?
Image credit: wildbutharmless