This isn’t going to be one of those “silver lining” or “close one door; open another” type of blog posts. I promise. I know that infertility sucks. I know that it often isolates you from your family and friends that simply don’t “get” your pain. But it hit me this weekend when I was hanging out “chatting” at the Creating a Family Facebook group, that if there is an upside to the hell that is infertility, it is membership into a sorority of people who truly and completely do understand what it’s like to be trying and trying to conceive.
Who amongst you haven’t felt that instantaneous bond? Case in point: When you speak of buying pregnancy tests in bulk, most people outside of the infertility sorority look at you either like you’re crazy or a masochist. While both may be true, fellow members of the sorority will give you a knowing nod and can tell you where to find the best prices. And like the best sororities, the infertility sorority even has its own secret language: 2WW, TTC, BFP, BFN, etc. When the ever-dreaded AF comes, you don’t have to explain your need for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to ease your pain. Now all we need is a secret handshake.
Infertility is awful. Indeed it is, but it does create an incredible bond between those who have walked this dark path. It may not be a sorority you wished for, but by golly now that you’re here, it’s sure nice to not be alone.
Someone from the Creating a Family Facebook Support group sent me a message the other day saying that at this point in her life she felt like her best friends were folks she “met” online because she felt understood without having to explain. Have you ever felt that way?
P.S. While in person support is fantastic, don’t underestimate the value of online support. It’s easier to find online support and they are available almost 24/7. The very best, in my ever so humble opinion, is the Creating a Family Facebook group.
Image credit: Voxphoto