Feeling ashamed of being infertileQ: My husband and I have not yet had to go through the infertility tests, treatments, etc., but we are almost to a year now of trying to conceive with no success. I’m watching many other younger and several older women getting pregnant within 4-6 months (or less) of trying. One even got pregnant while on birth control. Is it normal to feel shame? and embarrassment? A better word that describes how I feel is actually, defective. I feel defective and less of a woman. So many people say it isn’t true or logical, but I can’t help it. I want to know if others struggle the same way.

A: Hannah, this is an absolutely normal, albeit awful, feeling. I would almost say it is universal, although there are probably a few people out there that have been able to escape this. People feel like their body has let them down; that they can’t do the one uniquely feminine thing–produce a baby. It helps to wrap your head around the concept that infertility is a disease. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. It happened to you, and your job now is to deal with it the best that you can. Some days the best you can do is feel sorry for yourself, and that’s OK too. It is so unfair, and I’m sorry it is happening to you.


Image credit: Tiffany