The pain caused by insensitive comments made to women and couples experiencing a miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or stillbirth is huge. It’s not that these statements aren’t true, because many of them are “accurate”; it is because they are not helpful. If you’ve suffered a miscarriage, you’ve surely heard at least one of the following.
6 Things to Never Say to Someone Who Had a Miscarriage
- At least it was early.
- It happens all the time.
- You can always try again.
- It’s for the best because there was probably something wrong.
- It wasn’t meant to be.
- At least you have one child. That’s more than some.
The people saying these things are probably tying to make us feel better. The sad truth is that there is nothing they can say that will make us feel better. We have just lost a child. We are not supposed to feel better.
2 Things to Always Say to Someone Who Had a Miscarriage
- I’m so sorry this happened.
- Can I:
- Give you a hug.
- Do the laundry.
- Take the kids for the day.
- Be a shoulder to cry on.
How many of these have you heard?
Image credit: sari_dennise
What not to say
“At least you know you can get pregnant” Uggh
I will add to the “not to say list”:
“God has a plan”
“Well, you wouldn’t have wanted a baby with Downs Syndrome”
Oh. Gosh. Yes. I heard versions of those myself when I lost a baby. I just stared dumbfoundedly back. In silence.