Making Peace With Not Having Children

Infertility treatment is not always successful, and neither is adoption. Couples may have to face the decision of living childfree. Host Dawn Davenport interviewed Sheridan Voysey, author of Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams Into New Beginnings, a book about his journey to deciding to live childfree after he and his wife struggled to create a family for 10 years; and Jen Gamper, an infertility therapist with RMA New Jersey. She also has a private psychotherapy practice in Basking Ridge, NJ.

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  • I loved the book Resurrection Year by Sheridan Voysey. Voysey captured well the anguish of infertility and the spiritual questions this struggle leaves us with.
  • Why did you decided on living child free rather than adopting?
  • Did you consider donor sperm?
  • Most people start the infertility journey hopeful. What are some typical reactions when people meet with repeated failures?
  • What is instrumental in infertility patients ability to move to acceptance. What is a typical acceptance process?
  • Infertility often means living with a loss of control. Does making a final decision to stop trying help you regain some control, and is that part of the healing process?
  • Sheridan, when you decided to stop trying did you also stop hoping each month that a pregnancy would occur. How long did it take to reach that point, if you’ve reached it now, and would the answer be different for your wife, Merryn?
  • When couples differ in their desire to have children and how hard to try, how does this difference affect their ability to make peace with failure and decide when to stop?
  • How does infertility and the long struggle to have a child affect most marriages?
  • What are some of the upsides of making the decision to live childfree?
  • Is it harder for people to move on if they have been teased with a pregnancy, or they hear that their embryos look great, or that they have unexplained infertility?
  • Voysey’s book Resurrection Year is hopeful for a life well lived after an unsuccessful infertility journey. Even if your worst fears are realized it can be OK.