What is Your Favorite Infertility Song?

Dawn Davenport


Dixie Chicks song about infertility

What song helped you survive infertility?

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing like music to change my mood, invigorate me, motivate me, or bring me to tears. And there is nothing like infertility to make you need to have your mood changed, or to be invigorated or motivated, or to bring you to tears. What music has helped you cope with infertility? Please share your favorite in the comments.

A great infertility song is So Hard When It Doesn’t Come Easy by The Dixie Chicks . Two of the band members, sisters Martie Maguire (fiddle player) and Emily Robison (guitarist), have struggled with infertility.


Of her infertility struggles Martie Maguire said:

“One of the hardest things in a relationship is you picture where the relationship is headed next after you’ve gotten married and you’ve been together a couple of years. …And you grow up as a woman, I think, thinking you’re going to have a child and that it’s just kind of your God-given right to the next step. And then when it doesn’t happen, you’re shocked and saddened, and it’s such an emotional journey to go on.”

Emily Robison:

“I think you go through almost every emotion. I know my husband felt guilty. I know I felt guilty. For a moment you sit there and think if this doesn’t happen, will he love me any less? And those are the self-destructive thoughts that probably you shouldn’t be thinking, but I just think it’s natural.

It feels strange to talk about it now because I have got three children, and when they’re climbing all over me it’s bizarre to talk about infertility problems. But thank God for science. We have been blessed to live in an era when we have been able to do something about it.”


Both Maquire and Robinson were able to conceive through fertility treatment. Robison and her first husband are parents of Gus and twins, Henry and Juliana; she and her now husband are parents to Violet. Maguire and her husband have twins, Eva and Kathleen, and Harper.

Lyrics to It’s So Hard

Back when we started
We didn’t know how hard it was
Living on nothing
But what the wind would bring to us
Now we’ve got something
I can imagine fighting for
So why is fighting all that we’re good at anymore

And sometimes I don’t have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it’s so hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
It’s so hard

It felt like a given
Something a woman’s born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you

And I’d feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn’t give
And could you be happy
If life wasn’t how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it’s so hard
It’s so hard

It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
So hard

I can live for the moment
When all these clouds open up for me to see
And show me a vision
Of you and me swimming peacefully

Last night you told me
That you can’t remember
How to feel free

It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come fast
It’s so hard when it doesn’t come easy, easy

It’s so hard


Image credit: Dixie Chicks at MTS Centre

06/08/2014 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Blog, Infertility, Infertility Blog | 27 Comments

27 Responses to What is Your Favorite Infertility Song?

  1. Avatar Rachel says:

    Here is my playlist:
    * I Would Die For That – Kellie Coffey (Someone already posted and I cry EVERY time I hear it)
    * Smile – Nat King Cole
    * When You Believe – Michelle Pfeiffer & Sally Dworsky (Prince of Egypt Soundtrack) ((For those religious folk, like myself))
    * Everybody Hurts – David Archuleta
    * Overnight – Amy Grant ((Again, religious, VERY helpful))

  2. Avatar Lynn D. says:

    Dixie Chicks they are a fantastic band, Wide Open Spaces in my top five songs ever http://lyricsmusic.name/dixie-chicks-lyrics/-/wide-open-spaces.html

  3. Avatar Nichole says:

    “I Would Die For That” by Kellie Coffey

  4. Avatar Anonymous IF says:

    My two IF songs (one sad, one meant to inspire hope) would have to be:
    Written in the Stars by Elton John and Leanne Rimes. it’s not about IF per se, but the chorus is a perfect summary of how it feels for a couple to be IF:
    “Is it written in the stars
    Are we paying for some crime?
    Is this all that we are good for
    Just a stretch of mortal time?
    Is this God’s experiment,
    In which we have no say
    In which we’d live in paradise,
    If only for a day?”

    “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” by either Bruce Cockburn or the Barenaked Ladies (yes, that is the name of a real band). I like both versions but the one by BNL is more upbeat. The line that represents the fight against IF for me is this one:
    “When you are lovers in a dangerous time
    Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
    Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
    Got to kick at the darkness ’till it bleeds daylight”

  5. Well, my infertility song was Pam Tillis’s Melancholy Child. A little abstract, but it made sense to me. Melancholy was how I felt. My adoption wait songs were “It’s the Climb” because I was learning so much and “I Will Wait”. Also, I loved “Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” My open-adoption song is “Soul Sister” and my motherhood song may be “You Make Me Smile.” I bet many of you relate!!! I’ll post to FB, too.


  6. Avatar Justin says:

    My infertility song was Achinoam Nini’s interpretation of Ave Maria, which is the most beautiful one I encountered. It is not necessarily an infertility song, but a song of being deeply wounded by life and desperately wishing for hope. It made me cry so many times after my wife and I lost our baby, and still brings tears to my eyes up to this day.
    Here’s its link:

  7. Avatar AnonDC says:

    Kate Voegele “Lift me up” makes me want to cry every single time. I’m not sure if it’s about infertility but it’s about struggle in general.

  8. Avatar Kathy says:

    Mine is more of an adoption song as well, but it is “God Gave Me You” by David Barnes

  9. Avatar Emily says:

    Mine is kind of a downer, but it speaks to that disconnection I sometimes feel from my husband and family. Sometimes you feel like a stranger to yourself and your loved ones.
    Here’s Fiona Apple with The Child Is Gone

    “Honey help me out of this mess. I’m a stranger to myself. But don’t reach for me. I’m too far away. Don’t wanna talk cuz there’s nothing left to say.”

  10. Avatar Anonymous says:

    I’ve never heard this before but it brought it all back.

  11. Avatar Connie says:

    Then there is this song by the Wilsons who have 2 bio boys and adopted a daughter 6ish years ago. Mine all Mine. http://youtu.be/lyCV82gip4g

  12. Avatar Connie says:

    http://youtu.be/FnB4q9VsDPA in case the last link doesn’t work.

  13. Avatar Connie says:

    Stop for me by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. My favorite Canadian singer and one of my favorite songs by her. I was listening to her CD on the way to the clinic and when this song came on it sort of hit me over the head with meaning.

  14. Avatar Christi says:

    More adoption related, but my daughter – age 8 now, but when she was 7 asked what the song “God Blessed the Open Road” was about. I explained it, pretty simplistically, but she suddenly announced “That’s just like us, Mama! God blessed our broken road too!”

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