Jessica Melcher wrote this beautiful piece for the Huffington Post’s Voices blog. It’s a heartfelt look at the long struggle through infertility she has been on with her husband and some of the discoveries she’s made about herself. As they worked together to pay for treatments in their quest to have a baby, she found she was changing and growing. In particular, she realized that she had carefully crafted an image of herself that was holding her hostage to what others thought of her.
I have spent my whole life creating an image for other people. I did all the ‘right’ things, in the ‘right’ order for everyone else just as much as I did them for myself. How sad is that? It has only been in the last year that I have learned that people are always going to judge you and point fingers but that their opinion of you is just that…their opinion. I have let others be my biggest limitation my whole life and for once, I am going to do exactly what my heart tells me I need to do instead of letting my fear decide for me.
Choosing to open herself up to those who have asked to walk with them in their journey through fertility treatments has become a new sort of victory for her. Specifically, letting friends and family know of the financial strain that IVF was for them became something that she had to choose to do for her own well-being. She felt she had to release herself from the fear of what others would think of their need for financial help, in order to find a sense of control and empowerment in her journey. It certainly gives a different twist on the often controversial conversations surrounding IVF and crowdfunding. It’s a great read and her fresh perspective on this aspect of the struggle with infertility is one that many are reluctant to voice.