Coping with Miscarriages and Stillbirths

A miscarriage or stillbirth is a traumatic event. How can we cope and how can we help others who have experienced a pregnancy loss? Host Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of Creating a Family, the national infertility and adoption education and support nonprofit, interviews Lori Leo, author of “After Miscarriage, A Journey to Healing”; Reva Judas, founder of NechamaComfort, a nonprofit providing crisis intervention, guidance, and support in cases of infancy and pregnancy loss; and Ellen Krischer, Director of Programming at NechamaComfort.

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Terminology: stillbirth, miscarriage, spontaneous abortion, fetal demise, pregnancy loss. Both stillbirth and miscarriage are types of pregnancy loss or fetal demise, but they differ by when the loss occurs. A miscarriage (sometimes called a spontaneous abortion) is when a baby dies before the 20th week of pregnancy. Stillbirth is the death of a baby after the 20th week of pregnancy but before delivery.

How common are miscarriages? About 15-25% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.
How common are stillbirths? Stillbirth happens in about 1% of pregnancies.
Creating a Family has extensive resources on what causes pregnancy loss and the latest treatment.
The special impact of miscarriage on those in fertility treatment. Have been trying longer. No assurance that they can get pregnant again. Have spent a LOT of money to get to this point.
Our society’s discomfort with acknowledging the loss of miscarriage. I think that it is less the case with a stillbirth.
How to comfort someone who has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth? Practical tips.
Advantages or disadvantages of providing a ceremony surrounding the loss or a funeral. How to memorialize this loss.
How to seek closure without a ceremony?
Difference between when in the pregnancy you lost the baby.
How long does grief process take? When should you be concerned? When should you seek help?
Acknowledging the grief of extended family members.
Pregnancy after miscarriage. How to know when you are ready to try to get pregnant again?