Miscarriage is an equal opportunity tragedy. Celebrities are not immune, although many prefer to suffer in silence. Not so these two brave women.
Claire Holt, The Vampire Diaries & The Originals star, recently shared the pain, depression, and guilt she experienced after her recent miscarriage. She is not alone. So many of us have experienced similar feelings. “To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you. I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story too.”
Her full Instagram post about her miscarriage is as follows:
I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. I debated sharing this so soon and I’m still frightened about making such a private struggle public, but I’m doing it anyway because it’s important. After my D & C, I spent hours on the internet searching for women who had been through it. I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn’t my fault. That I wasn’t broken forever. I found a community of women who shared my exact experience. Who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn’t often or openly discussed. It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything. I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net. I will never know how to thank him. I also found that opening up to people is crucial. As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs – their own, their wife’s, their sister’s. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it. Finally, I want to share a blog post that resonated with every part of me. You can find the link in my bio, @leandramcohen of @manrepeller articulates the emotional rollercoaster with an eloquence that I could never possess. To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you. I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story too.
Hilarie Burton Shares Hope after Birth of Rainbow Baby
I so appreciated the recent Instagram post by Hilarie Burton, former One Tree Hill actress, about her new baby with husband Jeffrey Dean Morgan, actor most recently in The Walking Dead, after five years of miscarriage and infertility. It would be so easy to gloss over the suffering and pain that lead up to her birth, but she didn’t.
“So now that folks know she’s here, I don’t want her birth to cause any other woman to weep at her kitchen table. If anything, my wish is that she would restore hope for others. Fertility is a fickle thing. And for the other couples out there who have had dark days, we want to introduce our miracle baby to you and send you our love and support in finding yours.”
Her full Instagram post about the birth of her rainbow baby (baby born after a miscarriage) is as follows:
As some of you know, @jeffreydeanmorgan is off in Europe getting ready to do some big conventions. And he’s self aware enough to know his track record for “spilling the beans” isn’t so great (bless his heart!). So before he starts tripping up in an attempt to maintain our privacy, he asked that I go ahead and post something about our little girl’s birth.
But before I do that, there’s something I really want to say to all the women out there who are trying…..
It took a long time for Jeffrey and I to have this baby. The first time I got pregnant, it took a year and a half. I surprised him on Christmas with baby Seahawk booties. We cried. We celebrated. We picked out names. And we lost that baby.
More losses followed, and as so many couples know, it was heartbreaking. It still is heartbreaking.
And every morning of the five years it took us, I’d open my computer at the kitchen table and see the news and I’d grow bitter over the endless parade of celebrities showing off their bumps and babies. I’d weep out of jealousy for how easy it was for them. Didn’t they know something could go wrong? Didn’t they know that there were other women out there struggling? It pained me to see the corporate sponsored baby showers and magazine covers capitalizing on this human miracle that wasn’t happening for us.
So when this pregnancy started, we were cautious. I didn’t want to celebrate for fear of jinxing it. I didn’t want a baby shower. I checked her heartbeat every day, up until the day she was born. And now that she is here, I just stare at her in wonder all day. I see her in her daddy’s arms and I don’t take any of it for granted. She screams bloody murder and I smile because she is so wildly alive.
So now that folks know she’s here, I don’t want her birth to cause any other woman to weep at her kitchen table. If anything, my wish is that she would restore hope for others. Fertility is a fickle thing. And for the other couples out there who have had dark days, we want to introduce our miracle baby to you and send you our love and support in finding yours.
Please meet George Virginia Morgan. She was born February 16th. Her daddy delivered her. We love her very much.
Have you experiences these feelings following a miscarriage?
Other Creating a Family Resources You Will Enjoy
- Miscarriage Infographic
- Miscarriage Land Mine – “How Many Children Do You Have?”
- Infertility & Miscarriage Tattoos