The Problem with Waiting for Pregnancy or Adoption
Sometimes I want to strangle Ralph Waldo Emerson for uttering the words “life is a journey, not a destination”. Yeah Ralph, that may be true, but when the journey takes you far afield from the destination you want, it’s hard to peacefully settle into the journey.
The adoption and infertility world is chock full of waiting. At times it seems like that all you do is wait. Wait for the next cycle. Wait for an expectant woman to select you. Wait for test results. Wait for a referral from a foreign country or your adoption agency. Wait while you save money for the next cycle or adoption. Wait. Wait. Wait. The temptation, and heaven only knows that I know this temptation well, is to postponing living while we wait.
As much as I sometimes want to smack good ole Mr. Emerson, I’ll have to admit that he has a point. Easier said than done, but still a good point.
The problem with postponing life while we wait for a pregnancy or an adoption is that a whole lot of life might pass us by. At the beginning, we all think we’ll be the lucky one that has a short wait. Come on, why not us!?! We’ve heard stories of the woman who got pregnant naturally after her first visit to the infertility clinic. The family that was chosen by a pregnant woman the week after they finished their family profile. The couple who got pregnant with their first IUI or IVF. Surely, we think, that could be us. But unfortunately, just as surely it might not be, and there is little we can do to control whether it is or isn’t.
If we aren’t careful, we’ll find ourselves living a half-life while we wait for our real life to begin—going through the motions, while our mind and energy are always elsewhere. Perhaps the worst is that we postpone joy while we wait. My friends, all of us have too little joy in our lives to be able to let some pass us by for any reason. This much I know for sure—life is too short to not grab all the joy we can, wherever we can, however we can.
Image credit: raspberry dolly