Finding an expectant mother who is considering an adoption placement is an overwhelming and emotional journey for everyone involved. This pregnant woman is facing the most difficult decision of her life during a (likely) complicated season. You are coming to this place with your own set of challenges, especially if you’ve decided to adopt after enduring infertility treatments. The entire process is rife with big emotions and expectations. How do you find a match in infant adoption while navigating these hurdles with respect and honor?

Set Your Goal But Hold it Loosely.

Setting your intentions well when searching for a prospective match in infant adoption is crucial. Hopefully, your adoption agency or attorney has guided you through what to expect and how they will support you to pursue this adoption. You should be able to accurately reflect those intentions and give a flavor of who you are in your adoptive parent profile.

Your goal is to find a potential match and let the expectant mother know of your interest in parenting her baby if she decides to proceed with an adoption placement. However, you must also hold that goal loosely and be respectful that this is ultimately her baby and her decision.

8 Tips to Find An Adoption Match

With your goal firmly undergirding your plans, consider these tips for getting the word out that you are ready to consider an adoption match. These tips are not exhaustive, but they can be launching points to help you network on social media and other internet resources to raise awareness of your adoption plan.

1. Get social!

Social media platforms are (generally) free and easily accessible to everyone. Create an adoption-specific account that friends and family can share easily. Consider using the same handle on every platform, such as @TheJonesAreAdopting, for consistency. Make the handles easy to remember and short. Using your name keeps it fresh in people’s minds.

Remember to use your in-person connections (at church, work, community organizations, doctor’s offices, etc.) to raise awareness of your plans to adopt an infant. Word-of-mouth can be an effective and free resource that helps your intentions get out there.

Creating Your Adoptive Parent Profile

2. Get linky.

Consider creating a website to which all your social media accounts link. Many options are available, and most are low- or no-cost. Be sure to link to your adoptive parent profile on your site, especially if you have it online with your agency. You can also link your site (and your parent profile) to the adoptive parent profile sites that your adoption agency or attorney recommends or search the internet for those that suit your needs.

3. Start writing.

You can also start a blog on your website. A regularly posted blog can increase visibility when you cross-link or share it on your social media accounts. Your posts can be short, and you should not feel the need to write daily. Think of it as another way for interested expectant parents to get to know you and your life. The key to leveraging a blog for exposure is consistency of voice, timing of posts, and frequency.

Keep the posts upbeat, and let your personality shine through. Talk about what interests you, what you and your partner did on vacation, or your hopes and dreams for your family. If you aren’t a strong writer, try captioning your “real life” snapshots and photos.

4. Be a joiner.

Join the MANY adoption-focused groups on Facebook and other sites. These groups can help you learn what makes an adoptive parent profile stand out. Not only can you build your network of possible contacts, but these groups also offer support and community while you wait. The CreatingaFamily.org online community is very active, and many of our members have been right where you are now. They happily share their experiences and what they’ve learned.

Follow your agency’s page, join their group(s), and connect with the groups and sites they link to in their resources. Wherever you join, comment, interact, and post regularly to keep your name in other members’ minds. However, be a generous participant. Do not focus solely on getting your desire to adopt in their faces.

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5. #UseHashtags.

Use appropriate hashtags to improve the chances that your online activity will rise to the top of the algorithms. Search your preferred social media platforms for the most popular related to #adoption and #infantadoption. Start adding them to the end of your posts.

Additionally, use hashtags to help educate yourself about adoption. For example, #adopteevoices can help you find and learn from adult adoptees who share their experiences. A rising and vibrant community of adult adoptees and foster alumni is committed to educating prospective and adoptive parents. You might need to sort through the lists for a while to find the voices that fit your adoption scenario, but it’s a worthwhile venture.

6. Consider advertising.

Many social networks offer the option to buy advertisements. You can often target your ads to specific demographics, including age, education, and geographic location. Your ad should include a link to your adoption website so that interested expectant parents can get additional information.

Google ads can also target the sites that potential expectant mothers or fathers might view. However, remember that Google uses keywords, rather than demographics, in its targeting. Google advertising also allows you to reach outside of the social media platforms.

Please Note: You must talk with your adoption agency or attorney about the specific laws in your state for adoption advertising. It’s critical to observe their counsel to avoid anything that would jeopardize the adoption process.

7. Write it out, Old School.

Reach out to your circles of friends and family with a well-written (hard copy!) letter mailed the old-fashioned way. Tell the readers about your desire to build your family through adoption. Include the social media handles of your accounts, a link to your adoptive parent profile, and your website. Personal letters are unusual enough in today’s culture that you may be pleasantly surprised by how they stick out to the readers.

Follow up in about a month or so with an email with all the easy-access links. Request that the recipients share your site or accounts with their circles to increase your reach.

8. Be Alert, but Don’t Be Afraid.

Adoption scams and fraud do exist. It can feel risky to put yourself out there like this. Indeed, it would help if you weighed your preference for privacy against your desire to maximize opportunities for exposure when looking for an adoption match. Whatever balance you strike, be alert to the risk factors for adoption scams, and be cautious as you proceed.

Take the Leap.

Adoption is a leap of faith involving continuous smaller leaps along the way. Finding an adoptive match can feel like an overwhelming task. It might even feel uncomfortable to promote yourself in these ways. However, this leap can increase the odds that you and an expectant mother will find each other and explore the possibilities of adopting her baby together.

Image Credits: Ketut Subiyanto; Greta Hoffman; Karolina Grabowska