Our Adoption & Infertility Support Group

Dawn Davenport


I envision myself as a brave heart, walking forth into life without fear—brazen, you might say, in the best sense

Our Adoption & Infertility Support Group

of the word. In truth this image of myself contrasts pretty sharply with my love of the familiar. I don’t necessarily hate change, but don’t exactly embrace it either. So I have agonized over the decision of whether to change the Creating a Family Facebook Adoption and Infertility Support Group settings from “open” to “closed”. The decision is made all the more difficult because due to the size of our group, Facebook will not allow us to change back if we decide later that it isn’t working. It’s also made difficult because I don’t like the word “closed”.

Our Facebook Support Group has become one of the great joys of my day. I participate throughout the day and it has become my go to place to answer questions that I receive via email, Facebook, or Twitter. I delete any identifying information and give my answer there so that others can benefit and can weigh in with their own advice. And weigh in they do!

I don’t think there is a better place online to get support and share your adoption and infertility joys, woes, and questions. Across the board group members are incredibly kind, giving, and respectful in their comments. So many people have commented that this group is one of the few places where people with different views and different roles in the adoption and infertility world can share ideas without fear of being put down. We are anything but a closed group and it is working well, so why mess with success?

I put it to a vote on the Creating a Family Facebook Group. Over 60 people commented and opinions were mixed, but ultimately tended towards changing to a private group.

  • Personally, I don’t share some things about adoption and infertility because, while it might be relevant experience to someone’s situation, I don’t necessarily want to share it with everyone on my friend’s list. I like the idea of a closed group better.
  • Closing the group keeps it so friends on f/b can’t see all your business. Some information about infertility and adoption is sensitive and just doesn’t need to be shared with everyone in my life.
  • I would prefer it closed. I find myself editing what I post because I don’t want everyone of my friends to see it in their “ticker”. People can still lurk as long as they join.

Like it or not, progress requires change,(darnit). Given the private nature of some of the topics we discuss, we ultimately decided that a closed group made more sense and would encourage a freer sharing of support and information.

What Does Closed Mean for a Facebook Support Group

Basically, the major difference between an open and closed Facebook Group is that posts to a closed group can only be seen by members of the group. We already required people to ask to join the group, so nothing will change there. If you want to be a member, you simply click Join Group in the upper-right corner of the group’s page and then you have to wait for the group admin (me) to approve your request. You can also be added by someone who is already a member. Once a member, you can still lurk, reading without posting. And most important, you still have the option of sending me questions or comments  to post totally anonymously. You can send them to me either by email (dawn at creatingafamily.org) or Facebook message (friend me at dawn.davenport1 ).

If you have some connection to the world of infertility or adoption and aren’t a member, you are really missing out on one of the best things about the internet. Join us.

Image credit: Wiggle Bus

27/02/2013 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Blog, Infertility, Infertility Blog | 18 Comments

18 Responses to Our Adoption & Infertility Support Group

  1. Gabriella Marino Gabriella Marino says:

    Great decision. I feel more at ease with a closed group too, I hadn’t been posting when it was open because not all of my friends on FB would understand certain things.

  2. Elaine Makiej Elaine Makiej says:

    Can we have “private” handshake now?

  3. Amber Amber says:

    Private–closed I mean

  4. Amber Amber says:

    I will def feel more at ease posting in a private group.

  5. Dawn Davenport Dawn Davenport says:

    Unforseen bit of extra work: Just realized that closing the group will add a bit of work when I approve comments. The comment here on my blogs are pulled over to the blog and vice versa, so I will have to delete names-using only first names or initial. Not that much work, but I didn’t think it through. Still think going private was the best idea.

  6. Avatar Amy says:

    Great news that the group is now closed!

  7. I know what you mean. I just couldn’t use the title “We’re closing” to describe what we are doing. Just sounded wrong on so many different levels.

  8. Christi Christi says:

    This is great news… I will definitely feel more inclined to answer some posts of a more sensitive nature!

  9. Leilani Leilani says:

    I was excited to see this as well! Keep up the great work, Dawn Davenport!

  10. R. N. R. N. says:

    Yay! I like that idea.

  11. Gemma Gemma says:

    When I saw the email I thought the group was going away so very glad it doesn’t mean “closed” in terms of permanency. This group is a lifeline and as a result I now have a life-long friendship whose daughter is just a couple weeks younger than my daughter.

  12. Tracy Tracy says:

    {shaking head…} Nooooo, Dawn Davenport, I’m pretty sure that is NOT the right use of that particular phrase 🙂

    And I never said I actually did stop trying. I don’t do it well, but I try. And try, and try. And take GREAT joy in freaking them all out while I do 🙂 LOL!!!!!

  13. Tracy, I dance almost every night to music blaring from my ipod while cleaning up the kitchen. Neither lack of rhythm nor derisive comments from my kids deters me. I say “let it all hang out”. (Is that the right use of that expression?)

  14. G. M G. M says:

    Great decision. I feel more at ease with a closed group too, I hadn’t been posting when it was open because not all of my friends on FB would understand certain things.

  15. Tracy Tracy says:

    I don’t dance. I mean, I try. But my gang begs me to stop. 🙂

  16. Elaine, oh yes, and maybe a private password. Hey, we could have a private kind of dance that you’d have to do before admittance. The possibilities are endless.

  17. You have made a very wise choice.

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