Perils of Friending Your Kids on Facebook

Dawn Davenport


Parenting and Facebook

Are you friends with your kids on Facebook?

Being the Responsible Parent that I am, when my kids wanted to get a Facebook account, I made them abide by the age limits (yes, contrary to what your kids tell you, there are actually age limits), and then as a condition of joining, I asked (read: insisted) that they friend me. I reasoned that knowing that I could see their Facebook wall, would act as a check to teen stupidity…or at least the public reporting of said stupidity.  Turns out that stupidity is not limited to those under the age of 20.

I use Facebook primarily for work and have a large number (2100+) followers interested in adoption or infertility. One of the things that the Facebook haters of the world don’t realize is that an online community is just that—a community of friends.  Even though I don’t know these folks personally, I truly enjoy conversing with them daily—usually about adoption or infertility, but also about life in general.  When my husband was returning home from an out of town trip, I posted how excited I was for him to come home.  My Facebook friends responded with well wishes, and then someone posted something along the lines that they knew we’d be having “fun” that night since he had been gone for a week.  I felt the need to point out that he wasn’t due home until after midnight, and no matter how much I had missed him, there wouldn’t be any “fun” until the following night.  Well, that got the ball rolling, so to speak, with others joining in with slightly risqué comments on marital bliss.

A couple of days later at dinner:

Son #1:  You know Mom, you really shouldn’t be posting about having sex on Facebook. It could ruin your reputation. Please pass the broccoli.

Me: (spewing water out of my mouth and nose)

Son #2: (hands covering ears) Lalalalalalalalalalalalala!

Hubby: What?!? You posted online about our sex life?

Me: No, of course not. You weren’t even mentioned.

Hubby: Well then, who the hell was mentioned?!?

Son #2 and Daughter #2: (hand over ears) LALALALALALALALALALA!!!!

Me:  I didn’t post anything about having sex with anyone.

Son #1: Oh, I guess I misunderstood. I just assumed that’s what was meant with comments about the headboard rocking and hats on the door knobs. My bad.

Daughter #s 1 and 2, Son #2: OH GROSS! LALALALALALALALAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I didn’t post any of that!

Son #1: Maybe not, but your friends did, and you always tell us that we’ll be judged by the friends we keep.  Being Facebook friends with you had been very enlightening, but I think it really is better for me to stick with friends my own age.  Old people talk about things that really aren’t appropriate for teens. Maybe we should just unfriend each other.

Me: (giving Son #1 the Evil Eye) You’re feeling pretty pleased with yourself right about now, aren’t you?

Son #1: Oh Mom, you have no idea!


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Image credit: Vince Welter

19/07/2011 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Blog | 21 Comments

21 Responses to Perils of Friending Your Kids on Facebook

  1. Avatar Jean MacLeod says:

    VERY funny, Dawn!

  2. Avatar Stephanie Nolen Edwards says:


  3. Avatar Lynne Wallace says:

    That’s exactly why I haven’t added my 10 year old niece – even though she is really upset that I’m not her FB friend!

  4. Avatar Debbie Seher Lambrecht says:

    That was very funny:)

  5. hahahahahahahaha – OH SNAP! As my #2 son would say, “You got served, Mom!” So funny.

  6. Avatar Mel says:

    Ah, the perils of social networking. Thankfully, I’m not dealing with that yet. I will insist on full access to their profiles, for sure, once we get there. You know, Dawn, you can also make secondary accounts, to keep some things separate from others. Not that I think your kids should do that. More for you: personal vs. business (or sometimes, “real life” vs. fandom). To protect “the innocent” or those who just don’t care how much you love Justin Bieber. Ha ha!
    A bigger issue for me was whether to “friend” my kids’ birth family members. We adopted via foster care 3 times, involving two separate families. In one case, I am friends with b-mom and b-grandma. In the other family, where things are a bit more unstable and we have only minimal contact in the form of letters & pictures, I have not. I have also declined friend requests from people who would make me and this b-mom mutual friends (the joys of living in a small city).
    It’s part of a parent’s job to embarrass the kids with fairly harmless stuff like this–at least you are reflecting a healthy, loving relationship with your husband! They’ll get over it. LOL!

  7. Avatar Janet S says:

    Hilarious! Your son is very clever and articulate! Eva, how do you hide indiv posts?

  8. Avatar Chris says:

    Dawn, that is a hilarious story. Smart kid. lol

  9. Avatar Eva says:

    That is hilarious! Poor mom! But you know that you can actually “hide” posts from a group or an individual if you want. Hopefully your kids don’t read the comments on this post and learn about it!

    • Avatar Dawn says:

      I didn’t know that you can hide a post from a specific person. Hummm, wonder if my kids know about that neat little trick? How do you do that?

  10. Avatar Jodi says:

    Awesome! hahahahahahaha!

  11. Thanks. Was a little worried that it would restart the family discussion, but decided that none of us wanted to repeat that talk.

  12. Avatar andy says:

    That’s great!!!

  13. that is HYSTERICAL!!! You totally got caught!

  14. Avatar Paula says:

    Oh dear! That’s pretty funny!! You poor thing.

  15. Avatar Eva says:

    Sorry for the delay in responding. When you post a message on FB, on the bottom right corner of the entry box, there is a “lock” sign with a drop down arrow. If you click the drop down menu, you’ll see “customize.” If you select “customize,” a screen pops up allowing you to choose the people you want to see your post or hide it from certain people too. I’ve used it a few times if I’ve wanted to post something that only family members can view. Very easy. ^_^

  16. Avatar JustHeather says:

    Hehe, that’s a pretty smart kid you’ve got there! I can only imagine that sort of conversation with my stepmom, youngest brother and dad. Hehehe.

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