
I received an interesting question via my contact page this week. I thought you would all be interested in my response, plus, it was too long to use on my Frequently Unasked Questions page. Here’s the question:
After seeing all the stories in the news about multi-racial kids finding pride in the election of our new president, I was curious whether this positive media coverage has increased the number of foster/adopting parents willing to consider a mixed race child. I suspect that many prospective parents held back from considering it because they feared the stigma society would subject the child to. I love your show and feel it is helping me find my way to discern what would be best for our hopeful yet cautious attempt to become parents. Thanks you for providing such a caring and informative source with a wide range of discussions. I recommend this blog & podcast to everyone.
That’s an interesting thought, and truthfully I don’t know the answer. I think it is too early to tell whether Obama’s election will increase acceptance of transracial or multiracial adoption. I think (and pray) that it is a major step to further reducing racial prejudice, be it overt, subtle, or institutional, and it makes sense that it might increase adoption of mixed race or full black kids. But I think we were well on our way to this goal even before Obama’s election.
From the families I consult with and others that I talk to when I speak at conferences, I have seen much more interest in domestic adoption of all types since international adoptions from Guatemala and Vietnam have closed, and the waiting times to adopt from China have increase so significantly. When I talk with them about options in domestic adoption many are totally open to adopting an African American child and are willing, and even eager, to do the work of preparing to become a mixed race family. In international adoptions, the majority of children adopted have skin in varying shades of brown. In fact, Ethiopia has been one of the fastest growing countries for international adoptions to the United States for several years.
Unfortunately, as you point out, public perception of transracial adoption lags behind the reality. The truth is that transracial adoptions work for kids and for families. I see this success every day, but much more important, the research confirms it. This is not to say that children of color being raised in a white family will not have issues to overcome. They likely will. It is also not to say that it isn’t better for black and brown kids to be raised by black and brown parents. It probably is. But if that is not possible, then all efforts should be made to find parents of any color because kids need parents more than they need matching parents. I hope Obama’s life story will help dispel the myth that transracial families are inherently fraught with all sorts of insurmountable problems.
Obama, as the world now knows, was the child of a black African father and white American mother. His father left when he was two and was never again involved in his life. He did live with his Indonesian stepfather for five years, but for most of his life he was raised by his Caucasian grandparents and mother.
His memoir, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, is an honest portrayal of the successes and struggles of being raised as a black child in a white family. He points out that although he was mixed race, the world perceived him as black, and he had to learn to live in American society as a black man. His journey was not always smooth and his struggles were not those of an average American adolescent, but he survived and obviously has flourished. The love and support of his mother and grandparents supported and grounded him. I reviewed this book under transracial adoption books because I think it is a great resource to help white parents understand from a black child’s perspective what it is like to be raised in a white family and society. It was written shortly after he left law school, and is not a political book.
I have noticed lately with the families I consult with a greater willingness to consider adopting from foster care. I don’t think this has anything to do with Obama or even the greater acceptance of transracial adoption since the majority of children available for adoption from foster care are Caucasian. I think it is the result of Guatemala and Vietnam closing to international adoptions, and other countries, such as China and now possibly Ethiopia, increasing restrictions on adoptive parents and waiting times. I guess it’s true that every cloud has a silver lining. I just wish we could avoid the cloud, but keep the silver.
Image credit: Wondermonkey2k
I know that this election has really impressed my two transracially adopted kids. They love it that a black man was elected president.
Thanks for addressing this question, as it is something I have also wondered about recently. There are so many positives to having Obama as our next president, and I’d venture to guess that one of them will be helping people overcome their transracial adoption fears.
It all reminds me of a blog post that I wrote well over a year ago about race — long before we met our son. (We expected that he would have strong Asian features, but as a Eurasian he is often assumed to be our biological child.) If we adopt again, it will be from the USA and we will be open to any race at all.
An excerpt:
“… I do see race. But what I see is the beautiful diversity of each person’s physical being, and the richness of so many vibrant cultures and customs. It’s like we are all different flowers…none more beautiful than the other. Why do some people need to feel that there is one supreme flower? Why can’t we just live happily nestled all together within our glorious bouquet, appreciating each other’s beauty and realizing how magnificent we are as a whole?
I must say that I truly cannot wait for the moment when I behold the exotic beauty of our child’s face. I can’t wait to tenderly kiss those almond eyes, brush that shiny dark hair, and hold against my cheek that soft, sweet skin of a warmer hue. I so look forward to loving and nurturing our lovely little blossom into full bloom, and helping him or her find just the right spot in the world’s bouquet.”