Sometimes there is nothing lonelier than waiting to become a parent. Whether you’re on the infertility merry-go-round (appointments, shots, peeing, waiting, and praying) or playing the adoption waiting game (filling out forms, chasing paper, checking online forums for the latest rumors, jumping at every phone call, and praying), this baby quest is all consuming. A woman I consulted with a few weeks ago said it perfectly when she called it an obsession. But sometimes this obsession becomes a bit wearing on your circle of family and friends, and just maybe, your partner. So, where do you put all this baby-lust energy, before it drives the rest of the world to plan exit strategies when they see you coming?
Well, the internet is a good place to start. The beauty of internet forums, chats, and message boards is that you never have to worry that you sound obsessive. You probably do, but so do the rest of us, so we don’t care. Besides, if you do happen to go on and on at length about this illusive baby you so crave (not that any of you have, but if someone else does), other forum members don’t have to read your posts. But most will because they’ve BTDT (been there, done that) or ATFT (are there, feel that). Be warned: forums have a personality and not all are uplifting places to spend your time, so be selective. The last thing you need in your life right now is negativity. You’re likely getting enough of that on your infertility or adoption journey. Also be cautious of the rumors (especially on the adoption forums) which can build on the internet like a tornado on an Oklahoma prairie, and can cause just about as much damage to your psyche. Get your information from reputable websites, but vent away your anxiety on the forums. There is a forum for just about every diagnosis, treatment, type of adoption and country. One of the best, if I do say so myself, is the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group.
After you’ve drained some of the anxiety, then it’s time for a little inspiration. This is where I’m really in my element. “Hi, my name is Dawn, and I’m a comfort junkie.” Part of my personally designed recovery program is to spread the wealth, and I’ve found the Creating a Family website to be the perfect outlet. I almost never really plug this site in this blog, but I really love the comfort part, so forgive me this one time.
I completely get that inspiration is personal and quirky, so I try to cover the waterfront. I’m also real clear that what inspires the adoption journey is not likely to inspire the infertility journey, so I keep them separate. And last, but certainly not least, there is a lot of carp (reverse the letters-I don’t allow my kids to use the other word, so my teenaged son came up with this substitute) out there. That’s where my comfort addiction works to your advantage. I’ve waded in knee deep and chose the best. What works for me may not work for you, but one of these should do the trick.
Adoption and Infertility Videos:
Amongst the drivel on the Internet are some jewels. Check out my favorites under Adoption Videos and Infertility Videos. I separate the adoption videos by country, type of adoption (foster care, domestic, international, embryo, and GLBTQ). With the infertility videos, I include the inspirational or fun rather than educational.
Adoption and Infertility Blogs:
Adoption: There are an unbelievable number of blogs now. I can’t complain since you are currently reading one of them, but many don’t capture my interest. I don’t even pretend that my list is complete, but when I read one that I think is particularly good, I add it to my blogroll on the left of this page as well as here. We break it out by type of adoption, type of parenting unit, and country.
Infertility: Ditto what I said about adoption blogs. My favorite infertility blogs are on the blogroll of this page. I also have a blog section under Infertility Resources for some others.
Suggested Adoption and Infertility Books: Now you’ve come to the best. There is nothing I love more than to curl up with a great read. For a book to inspire and entertain me, it has to have a happy ending . I don’t require the perfect ending, and I relish a few bumps along the way as much as the next person, but I want it to end with the girl getting the guy, or in this case, the girl getting the child. I also like books that challenge me to think in a new way or about new topics. We have lists of the best fun and inspirational adoption and infertility books.
I hope these resources help to inspire you and help you keep on keeping on. This journey to your child and the family you want may not be easy, but it can have a happy ending.
P.S. If you have your own favorite inspirational video, blog, forum, or book, please let me know via the contact page of this website. I’d love to help spread the word. The world of infertility and adoption can use all the inspiration we can get.Image credit: Joshua Altmanshofer