Expectations vs. Reality in Fertility and Adoption

Dawn Davenport


Expectations vs. Reality in Fertility and Adoption

When reality crashes into expectations.

Most of us don’t grow up expecting to be infertile. We assume that we when we are ready to have a baby we’ll light a few candles, open a bottle of wine, put on some good music, and voila : in nine months a baby will be born. With adoption, more people are clued in to the possible roadblocks (time, money, paperwork), but few people really expect ALL the possibilities (not being chosen, failed matches, closing countries, and on and on).  Someone posted this picture on the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group, and while it wasn’t intended to be about either fertility or adoption, it couldn’t have been more spot on.

Would You Want a Crystal Ball?

I have always been very clear in my mind that I don’t want to know the future. I’m convinced that it might affect my enjoyment of the here and now. I’m glad to live in ignorance, although I’ll admit that a hint of the future might have saved me a lot of time and frustration. Still I’ll happily live in the dark, thank you very much.

What I Really Want

You can keep your crystal ball, but I’ll take a bridge any day.

Bridge over the bumps of reality


Would you have wanted to know in advance about your infertility or adoption struggles?


Image credit: Top-Mashable; Bottom-unidentified quipster on Facebook

11/03/2014 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Adoption, Adoption Blog, Blog, Infertility, Infertility Blog | 3 Comments

3 Responses to Expectations vs. Reality in Fertility and Adoption

  1. Dana, yes it is really important to know as much as possible about your child’s early history to be better able to meet his needs.

  2. Avatar Hope says:

    In this one particular case (wanting to parent), I probably would choose to look into the crystal ball — if only to remind myself that there IS a future, that this waiting will come to an end one way or another.

    And yes, a bridge would be terrific. If that’s not possible, though, then at least those of us “in the same boat” can get together on that little lake and throw a party, to remember that we’re not alone!

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