We found this question in the Social Q’s column of the NY Times Style section and thought it offered a unique peek into real life for a family built by adoption. The young boy asks a question about outing his brother as adopted in front of a group of friends. He is trying to understand why his brother was hurt. The columnist has a great response, blending common sense, empathy, connection, and humor in good measure.
November is National Adoption Month and while we adults are often “gung-ho” about the opportunities to share our family’s story and sing the praises of how wonderful it is to be a family built by adoption, this question from a sibling is a reminder that our kids deserve the time and space to come to their own conclusions about their stories. And that we need to give them tools to do that.
Creating a Family has a wide variety of resources regarding sibling relationships and dynamics in a family built both biological means and by adoption. Here’s one we particularly like: Top Ten Tips for Blending Children by Birth and Adoption.