A Bit of Adoption and Infertility Humor
‘Tis the season of light, so let’s lighten things up with a touch of the funny. A couple of years
ago, I was out running errands with my three youngest kids. The errands took longer than anticipated (don’t they always), so we stopped at a fast food place to grab something to eat. The lady taking our order stared and then did a double take, staring first at me and then at each child. It is worthy of mentioning at this point that two of the three kids look absolutely nothing like me and none of them share any resemblance to each other. The woman gave me a sly smile and said, “Lord, you sure like your men different!” It had been a long day and I really wasn’t up to extolling the virtues of adoption. The kids weren’t listening, so I replied, “Yep, variety is the spice of life.” She chuckled, “Ain’t that the truth.”
I know, I know. Not only did I miss an opportunity to educate, I was horribly politically incorrect and set a bad example for my kids if they had been listening. Yes, and I know that they are often listening even when they are otherwise engaged. But appropriate or not, I’ve laughed over that incident for years, and parenting is supposed to be fun, at least some of the time. Here are a few funny tales from the Creating a Family Facebook Support group.
Kathleen: When we lived in VA a lady actually said to me “Ahhh, she’s so cute. How much did ya’ll pay for her?” To which I replied “Oh, we aren’t from Virginia, we don’t buy people”. We now laugh about how uninformed some people can be.
Cindy: Hubby was shopping at Walmart with our son. The young man behind the counter asked him, “Is your son mixed?” My husband replied, “With what?? A splash of cherry flavor?”
Susannah: After three semen samples, hubby decided he had had enough of the “sample” room at the clinic. (He actually said he was tired of their porn selection.) The clinic agreed for him to get the sample at home and bring it in. He was carrying it up to the lab in a brown paper lunch bag when a woman on the elevator said, “Oh, your lunch is making me hungry.” He responded, “It has that affect on my wife too.”
Michelle: While at the check out at a local WalMart, I had my adopted daughter (less than a year old) with me. A lady told me she has my eyes. I don’t know if she didn’t know what to say or what. My daughter is bi-racial, white/black with big brown eyes and the afro curly hair and skin looks a little tan, not dark. I am very light skin, blonde hair with blue eyes that are not big. I didn’t know how to reply and just smiled and said, “Really?” [I suspect the lady was looking for a way to engage Michelle in conversation and complimenting our kids or saying they look like us is usually a sure fire way to start a conversation. Still, I thought Michelle’s startled response was funny.]
Tammy: My bio daughter so loves her adopted sibs that she can’t understand why she can’t be adopted too.
Me: I try to only grocery shop once every two weeks to save time and money. Needless to say, my cart (actually carts since I usually have at least two) is always full. A couple of years ago, I was loading 10 gallons of milk into a cart, when a woman asked me what institution I was buying for. I felt like saying “An insane asylum and actually I’m the head patient.”
So, tell us some of your humorous—appropriate or not—stories about adoption or infertility. There are less funny (in the ha-ha sense) stories to tell about infertility, but let’s see what you’ve got.