Adoption and Unorthodox Living ArrangementsQ: Do you know if it will be possible for my husband and I to start adoption procedures given this situation. We are in Michigan and my husband lost his automotive job and now works in Washington DC and flies home to Detroit every weekend. I still have a job in Detroit. We have a very high combined income, but he is away all week. Do you think that this would be a negative in our home study? We are 49 and 44 years old and were wishing to adopt two older children about age 6-12, preferably siblings. We have been married almost two years. Thanks for any insight you may have.

A: There isn’t an easy yes or no answer to your question. My answer will depend on a number of factors. The standard we are supposed to use when deciding on placing children in a home is the following: “Is this placement in the best interest of the child?” The hurdle you will have to overcome is showing that having a dad that is only present on the weekend is in the best interest of the children.

Is this arrangement permanent or do you anticipate a change sometime in the future? If you anticipate that this is a temporary arrangement, make this clear to the social worker doing your home study. If you are able to afford household help that frees you both up to spend time on the weekend with the children, make that clear. Focus on your weekly support network that can help you cope with being a new mostly single mom to two kids. If you don’t have this support network, develop one because you’ll need it. You don’t say whether you want to adopt from US foster care or from abroad. Some countries may ask for additional information to be included in your homestudy, given your living arrangements.

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