Disrupting Birth Order in Adoption and Foster Care
Should you consider adopting or fostering a child that is older than a child already in your family. Are there things you can do to make it easier for all the children? We talk with Teresa Bernu, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Adoption Center of Illinois, and Mark Lacava, LCSW and Chief Clinical Officer at Spence-Chapin Services to Family and Children, an adoption organization in NYC.
- There are no hard and fast rules in adoption, including whether or not to adopt out of birth order.
- What are some of the pros for adopting out of birth order?
- What are some of the cons for adopting out of birth order?
- What are some of the different ways adopting out of birth order can occur?
- Which birth order of children are most impacted by the disruption?
- What age child is least affected by having his birth order disrupted?
- What age child is most disrupted by having his birth order changed?
- What age gap is best between children when disrupting birth order?
- What are some of the potential issues parents need to think about when they change birth order?
- Sibling rivalry.
- Oldest or youngest child feeling displaced.
- The adopted child is older in age but younger on an emotional and behavioral level.
- Adopting a child who has been sexually abused.
- Is disrupting birth order a predictor for adoption disruption?
- Can lead to virtual twinning or artificial twinning where the family adopts a child of a similar (within about 9 months) of a child already in the family.
- What are some of the difficulties of virtual twinning or creating artificial twins?
- How to minimize the negative impact of virtual/artificial twinning?
- What are the warning signs that parents need to get help with an adoption that is out of birth order?
- Are their similarities between families that have blended children by adoption and birth and families with blended children from divorce and remarriage?
- Tips for easing the transition for all the children in a family when the birth order is changed by the adoption.
Music credit: Michael Ashworth