Is This Father’s Day Card Offensive to Adoption?
My distance vision has always been lousy, but up until recently, I could see perfect up close. That seems to be changing, and I’m sure it has nothing to do with my last birthday. I’m at the point now where I have to search for the sweet spot when reading–not too close or it blurs, but not too far away either. I’m trying to be philosophical about it–life is all about finding the sweet spot; kind of like “Life is like a box of chocolates” in Forrest Gump. (Oh Lord, tell me I’m not turning into one of those crotchety old people who references movies that no one under the age of 50 has ever seen!)
Sometimes it’s hard in the world of adoption or infertility to find the sweet spot. Yes, we are tender and bruised from the journey, and thus perhaps just a wee bit overly sensitive. We love our children beyond reason, which makes us perhaps just a wee bit overly protective. (If you don’t believe me, check out my thoughts and especially the comments on my blog The Debate Over Adopt-a Programs.) But sometimes, dadgummit, things are just plain offensive, and we should call it like it is. So, I ask you–is this Father’s Day card offensive or just mildly cute?
Wendy posted this card at the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group . (It’s with her permission that I moved the discussion to the blog.) Opinion over there seems to be mixed, although leaning towards offensive. Here’s a sampling of what people think.
CM: I don’t find it the slightest bit funny and find it incredibly offensive.
NN: Ew. Poor taste.
JW: Ok, I’m going to take the other side here. I see no malice in this card. Silly, but not intended to be hurtful, you know?
DP: Whether it’s intended to be hurtful, and whether it IS hurtful (or offensive) are two different things. The decision to relinquish a child for adoption is not something to be made light of. I find this terribly offensive and likely very hurtful to both firstparents and adoptees. That’s not changed by the fact that they probably “just meant it as a joke.”
CLM: I didn’t see the correlation to adoption. My guess is that it wasn’t intended to offend adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents or anyone else.
What do you think? Offensive or are we overreacting?
P.S. When I googled “dadgummit” to see if I had spelled it right, I read the following at Urban Dictionary.
Western U.S. slang, similar to Dadblastit and Dadgummit, used to express frustration or annoyance. This word was often used by Hoss of TV’s Bonanza.
Oh great, just what I needed to feel old! And for the record, Bonanza was before my time–or at least I think it was. My memory isn’t what it used to be.
P.P.S. Check out the review we received for the Creating a Family Multimedia Guide- Choosing an Adoption Agency or Attorney at a great blog and organization–the Long Island Adoption Support Group. While you are there noodle around and read some of their other great blogs.Image credit: Wendy Originally published in 2013.
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