• SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSLETTER


  • Home » Blog » At Least You’re Having Fun Trying!?! (Clueless about Infertility)

    At Least You’re Having Fun Trying!?! (Clueless about Infertility)

    Dawn Davenport

    8
    Trying to Conceive is Not Much Fun When You are Infertile

    Sad to say that this is NOT the image of “trying” when you are infertile.

    Dear Fertile, but Clueless Friend:

    For the record, “trying” is actually not fun. When you think of trying to make a baby, you think of that giddy time when you first start trying to conceive – when each time you had sex you knew that maybe, just maybe, a new life had begun. You remember or imagine that time when the excitement of possibility ran through you adding extra passion to every touch.

    Yeah, we remember that time too. But we’re past it–way way past it.

    We’re into the next phase of trying. When lovemaking is scheduled around body temps, cervical mucus, and ovulation predictor tests. Yeah, it’s about a romantic as it sounds. Sometimes we don’t even remember what it was like to look forward to making love.

    We’re into the phase where fear of failure has replaced the excitement of possibility. Where we do everything possible to not let our hopes get too high so the disappointment isn’t too great.

    We’re into the phase where we have to take a break from making love when “it doesn’t count” (when there is no possibility of conception). Yes, imagine that – we have to stop doing something that used to be one of the greatest ways we connected because it is now weighted with sadness.

    We’re into the phase where there are doctors, shots, and prodding and poking.

    We’re into the phase where we sometimes cry into our pillow or each other’s shoulders after we make love.

    So, for the record, trying isn’t all that much fun.

    Best wishes, Your Infertile Friend

     

    Image credit: Miguel Ariel Contreras Drake-McLaughlin

    19/03/2014 | by Dawn Davenport | Categories: Blog, Infertility, Infertility Blog | 8 Comments


    Sign up for our newsletter to have the latest and greatest adoption and infertility resource​s delivered to your inbox weekly.


    8 Responses to At Least You’re Having Fun Trying!?! (Clueless about Infertility)

    1. Kristina says:

      we were just talking about this yesterday. I remember how we’d have our everyotherdayandtwicewhenovulating sex, even when one of us was sick. we’d turn our faces away from each other – it was terrible.

    2. Ashley says:

      Rosie – that’s such a great quote. Two failed IVF cycles and two failed adoptions later, I really relate to it as well.

    3. I forgot to mention the standing on your head part. Yeah, that’s a lot of fun.

    4. Rosie says:

      We’ve never TTC’d (knew prior to marriage that my fertility is nil), but there are days when I feel so let down about how long our adoption process is taking that I really related to this:

      “We’re into the phase where fear of failure has replaced the excitement of possibility. Where we do everything possible to not let our hopes get too high so the disappointment isn’t too great.”

    5. Stephanie says:

      Scheduled PLUS practically standing on your head afterwards is super fun!!! Not to mention that the romance is gone because all you can think about is getting pregnant this time and your husband feels like a piece of meat. Oh yeah good times :-)))

    6. Marc & Latrice says:

      well it can be fun we think it is ne way cause its that ooo baby were ovulating thing lol but ether way we have to use a donor so even the skipped months an we O its exciting

    7. Leilani says:

      Yeah cause getting the preseed out and scheduling sex is awesome!!

    8. Laura says:

      Geesh. Hated when people made that comment!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

    Back to Top ↑

    Content created by Creating a Family. And remember, there are no guarantees in adoption or infertility treatment. The information provided or referenced on this website should be used only as part of an overall plan to help educate you about the joys and challenges of adopting a child or dealing with infertility. Although the following seems obvious, our attorney insists that we tell you specifically that the information provided on this site may not be appropriate or applicable to you, and despite our best efforts, it may contain errors or important omissions. You should rely only upon the professionals you employ to assist you directly with your individual circumstances. CREATING A FAMILY DOES NOT WARRANT THE INFORMATION OR MATERIALS contained or referenced on this website. CREATING A FAMILY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS LIABILITY FOR ERRORS or omissions in this information and materials and PROVIDES NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, implied, express or statutory. IN NO EVENT WILL CREATING A FAMILY BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, including without limitation direct or indirect, special, incidental, or consequential damages, losses or expenses arising out of or in connection with the use of the information or materials, EVEN IF CREATING A FAMILY OR ITS AGENTS ARE NEGLIGENT AND/OR ARE ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.