What it Feels Like to Be Infertile
Different people experience infertility differently. There are some who grieve, but move relatively smoothly into acceptance of adoption or a child-free life. For others, infertility remains for years an aching wound-perhaps getting smaller and scabbing over, but always present. And then there are those in between where the pain is present, but usually manageable with the occasional pity-party and glass of wine. Which one are you? Do you share any of the following feelings about your infertility?
Infertility Feels Like_______:
- I’m less of a woman (or man).
- I’m a jealous _itch because I am sick and tired of hearing about other people’s kids.
- My body betrayed me.
- I’m a failure to my husband who wants kids so badly.
- I’m a failure to my parent and in-laws who desperately want a grandchild.
- Constantly being frustrated at the constant hassles of infertility (doctor’s appointment, taking off from work, shots, timed sex, etc.)
- Being angry at God for giving me this huge desire to be a parent, but making it so damn hard.
- Being intensely sad that I’ll probably never get to see the mixing of my husband and my genes reflected in our children.
- Being angry at being told that Darwin says I’m an evolutionary mistake or that God would get me pregnant if I was supposed to be a mother.
- Being aggravated at constant media (books, TV, movies) implications that only biology makes a true family, and that the delivery of a baby is what makes a parent a parent. (I despise delivery room scenes to a degree I cannot properly express.)
- Being sad that my not-terribly-healthy parents might not get to know their grandchild(ren) and vice versa because infertility is making it take so long to have children.
- I’m an abnormal freak.
- Being tired of the loss of personal control and ownership of the story of how we became parents.
How does infertility make you feel? Take the time to leave a comment to try to explain infertility to those who have been blessed to never experience it and probably don’t even realize how fortunate they really are.Image credit: patricio villarroel bórquez
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